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-   -   Annoying Parties (http://forums.writersbeat.com/showthread.php?t=31973)

ChrisFaciarelli 06-18-2011 09:53 PM

Annoying Parties
The Investor

The scene starts in a Manhattan apartment. Steve, dark hair, thirty, wearing a plaid shirt, is standing in a corner near the buffet table with Kyle, blond, also thirty, wearing a blue T-shirt.

STEVE: Ah…. This is driving me up the wall.

KYLE: What?

STEVE: I don't know. This party, these people. Can’t we take off?

KYLE: No. [Slight pause] We just got here. And look. Jeff’s standing right at the door. He’s gonna say something.

STEVE: Who? Who’s Jeff?

KYLE: This’s Jeff’s. This apartment, this is his apartment.

STEVE: See. I don’t even know the guy whose party this is. Let’s just leave and... do anything else.

KYLE: Well, we can’t.


KYLE: Ah... It’s embarrassing. I don’t wanna say.

STEVE: What? Come on what?

KYLE: Well… Jeff's my only friend, beside you, that took my side after me and
Kathy split up and…

STEVE: All right, all right, forget it. Let's stay for a bit.

KYLE: Anyway, didn’t you say that guy Jay was coming?

STEVE: Yeah, and… Well, I’m just telling you now. When he gets here, we’re locked in because he ain’t leaving a place with all this free food and booze. So…

KYLE: He’s really that bad?

STEVE: You kidding? I had all these old clothes I was gonna throw out.

KYLE: Yeah?

STEVE: And he said don’t. Said he could wear them to look homeless when he goes for a free lunch at the soup kitchen downtown. [Starts laughing]

KYLE: [Laughing] He’s not that…He’s… Well, you know, give him a break.
STEVE: [Laughing] It’s more funny than anything. It’s just…
KYLE: [Laughing] I think you’re over doing it. And it’s rough out there. He could be a little tight right now and

STEVE: Whatever. I’ve seen him steal plants from his neighbour’s terrace, in the middle of the night. I’veOh shut up. He’s here.

KYLE: You we’re the one talking bad about him.

Jay, dark hair, thirty, wearing a sport coat, walks over to Steve and Kyle.
JAY: Steve. [Steve nods] How come I don’t recognize anybody?

STEVE: It doesn’t matter. We’re leaving soon.

JAY: No, no, let’s just hang out for a bit. There’s still like about three fifty worth of ribs over there. That’s

[Steve and Kyle start laughing]

JAY: What?

STEVE: [Still laughing] Nothing.
JAY: What? Why? Just because [Jay looks at Kyle] Hey, I know you. Ah…
Kyle? Right?

KYLE: Yeah nice to see you again buddy.

JAY: I was at your wedding. Remember? I was Karen’s date.

KYLE: Yup, yup, I remember.

JAY: How is Kathy, anyway?

[Steve and Kyle look around the room and then at each other.]

KYLE: Well, actually… Ah, well, we, ah, split up.

JAY: Already? The wedding was just last year.

STEVE: Jay, come on man. Don’t

KYLE: What can I say, man?

JAY: No, it just doesn’t really seem like you were married. You know, splitting up after a couple of months.

STEVE: Okay let’s get outta here.

KYLE: I wasn’t trying to inconvenience you. I

JAY: It’s not a big deal. It’s just that… Well, you know.

KYLE: What?

JAY: Well, I mean… I put a hundred and fifty dollars as a gift and….

KYLE: Yeah, so?

JAY: It was to help you guys get started, but

STEVE: Jay, enough.

KYLE: No, let him talk.

JAY: If you’re not married anymore you really have nothing to start so… like,
shouldn’t you return the gifts?

KYLE: What? Why?

JAY: I just feel a little cheated.

KYLE: Oh really? Okay, well, I’m sorry, because we only got married to rip you off so…

JAY: Well, that’s stupid. I know you

KYLE: And by the way, I’m the one who feels cheated.

STEVE: Alright, seriously, let’s get out of here. Come

JAY: I didn’t mean I was cheated on. I just meant I invested in your guy’s future… and you didn’t deliver. Shouldn’t I get my investment back?

KYLE: Investment? What invest

STEVE: [Grabs Jay by the shirt] Jay, would you shut up.

KYLE: No, I’m not done with this guy. Your asking me for the money you put in to cover your plate after you stuffed your fat ugly face at my wedding just because I wasn’t married as long as you planned.

JAY: Ah, technically…

KYLE: Technically what?

JAY: I think the money did more than cover my plate, I mean… Okay, let’s be real here… I put a hundred and fifty in. I don’t think it was one fifty a head at cost.

STEVE: What does that mean?

KYLE: No, no, it didn’t cost one fifty, but

JAY: What was it, like, eighty bucks a person or something?

KYLE: Yeah, something like that.

JAY: Okay…

KYLE: Okay, what?

JAY: Well, then, so seventy dollars was profit. That’s the gift. Not that it’s gonna break me, it’s just…

[Steve puts his head down and laughs a little]
[Kyle stares blankly at Jay]

JAY: You know as an investor, shouldn’t

KYLE: Why do you keep saying that?


KYLE: What’d I give you a portfolio of my marriage? Did I send you statements? Dividends?

JAY: Actually, no, and I know you had dinner parties and I didn’t get invited to any of them. What’s that?

KYLE: That’s because we’re not friends. You were just the date of someone who couldn’t find anyone better at the last minute.

JAY: That was kinda mean.

[Kyle looks at Steve and shakes his head]

STEVE: I know. I know.

KYLE: I’m gonna kill this guy. I’m gonna kill and watch him die and enjoy every minute of it.

STEVE: [To Steve] Can’t blame you. [To Jay] Jay. It’s time to go. Come on.

KYLE: No, you know what? I gonna hit a bank machine and pay this guy his seventy dollars. It’ll put me in overdraft, but… [Kyle looks directly at Jay] I don’t ever wanna see you out again. [Knocks Jay’s drink out of his hand]

JAY: Come on. Come on… You don’t have to pay me seventy dollars. Just give me thirty-five and get Kathy to pay the other half. Fair’s fair. Right?

[Kyle looks at Steve and pauses]

KYLE: Okay, okay. [Kyle takes out his cell phone and dials] Kathy… Yeah just listen for a second…. I have someone who wants to talk to you.

PeteMalicki 06-22-2011 03:34 AM

Cute. Very well-written dialogue. Story's a bit light on for it to be a stage play but it could work well as a short video / skit.

I liked the ending; a nice change from the predictable line of Jay getting his head kicked in for being a twat.


AnnaSkye 07-21-2011 02:00 PM

I could see Jason Segel playing Jay. I liked this. Written very smoothly.

meganburns 08-16-2011 05:47 PM

it reminder me of the dialogue in Hangover, Always happy, or How I met your mother. That type of guy banter is really entertaining because its relatable. everyone knows people like this.

i enjoyed until the last line from the convo it seemed like the marriage didnt end well so that call is slightly odd, at least to me.

good luck!

krackham 10-12-2011 03:20 AM

I really like the idea of this - but it struck me that you might not even need the character of Steve at all. The interesting relationship for me is that between Kyle and Jay, and the intro part with Kyle and Steve does little more than give some basic info on Jay and slips in about the marriage break up - all of which could more than adequately be shown in a conversation between Kyle and Jay.

I believe that all good stories basically come out of the relationship between two people - I'm not sure of the role Steve plays in this. If a third person was to be introduced at all, I'd like it to be Kathy, as this would increase the tension for Kyle - perhaps they run into one another?

Anyway - just a few thoughts - I really like the idea of asking for a wedding gift back. I've had a number of friends split up after a really short marriage - makes you wonder!!!!


butterbescotch 10-12-2011 06:41 AM

Woah. That was some entertaining dialogue, although it is a bit lengthy or is it me?

Nice concept mate. Good idea for making a short video. Hmm.

Matty T 02-27-2012 10:29 AM

Diggin the format

RerunGirl 05-27-2014 05:06 AM

Wow, easy to read and believeable. That's not even talking about the format! If you haven't already try Celtx, a free script writing software.

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