WritersBeat.com

WritersBeat.com (http://forums.writersbeat.com/index.php)
-   Non-Fiction (http://forums.writersbeat.com/forumdisplay.php?f=7)
-   -   Cinderella's step sisters (http://forums.writersbeat.com/showthread.php?t=15277)

puresnow 11-22-2008 10:52 PM

Cinderella's step sisters
 
Sometimes it is good to have a laugh about ourselves.

My husband was comparing his size thirteen ugly feet with mine. I joke that he has Cinderella's step sisters' feet. He retorts that I am no Cinderella, I don't have petite feet, so we jokingly conclude that we are both Cinderella's ugly step sisters.

In our family, we have four ugly step sisters. You should see my daughters' Deborah and Gabrielle's feet!!! They complain that I have given them size ten feet.

It reminds us not to sing," Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble, when we are perfect in every way."

I had a photograph taken yesterday, the big Reebok shoe belongs to the older step sister, when he bought them in Australia, my sis-in-law Audrey says they look like boats. Deborah persuaded me to buy this pair because my old pair was like dog's vomit. My old pair of New Balance shoes served me well, I reluctantly gave up it up as I had ran the Marathon in it. Deborah said may be I should bronzed them to remind me of my incredible feat, running the marathon at 50.

It's not funny to have big feet except when you an Asian, and most Asians have small feet. There are different dialect groups among the Chinese people. My husband is a Hakka.

According to legend, the Hakka women marched to war with their husbands. They did not suffer the cruel footbinding custom of making their feet three-inch lotuses. The rest of the Chinese girls and women shuffled along and cried in agony.

My daughters Deborah and Gabrielle have inheritted the genes of big feet. They also were very brave like doing the bungy at sixteen, black water rafting at 12, and playing with snakes at 14.

They are truly my Amazons. They are very tall and tower over many Asians. I guess if they wore armours of steel, they would be very formidable and give Xena and her sidekick, the other Gabrielle a good run for their money.

Robinjazz 11-23-2008 05:54 AM

:) Sounds as though Sasquatch lives. A whole family has been discovered.


Good material for humor, but I think your attempt falls flat.
Interesting family. Nice story.


I would take out the "According to legend . . . agony" paragraph and shoot strictly for humor throughout. But, I'm no expert and this is what you wanted to write. Also, there are too many "be" verbs. Try using some powerful verbs to put your piece in full swing.

laura1039 11-25-2008 08:13 AM

This is good however, I felt it became very confusing towards the end, especially in the paragraph beginning 'I had a photograph...' I didn't understand who was who. This would be a very good piece with a little more structure. But well done a good first attmpt.


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 10:53 AM.

vBulletin, Copyright 2000-2006, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.