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-   -   The Coffee Shop (http://forums.writersbeat.com/showthread.php?t=4000)

DFischer 06-20-2006 11:02 PM

The Coffee Shop
 
Here's our current menu. If you'd like to suggest for something, let us know...


Café's Menu

-Beverages-

===Lemo'nade'===
The Head Chef's explosive favorite.

===The Fireball===
Well, one of our waitresses throws a fireball at you. Drink it if you can.

===Old Age Spirits===
Made in the 1500's, drunk in the 1500's, refilled and sold to you- now.

===Turtle Toe Tea===
Turtle's toes in green tea.

===Calamari Coffee===
Ground-up callamari in your favorite cup of Joe

===Rabid Bat Coffee===
Classic roast, with an exciting dash of diseased flying rodent.

-Medicine Beverages-

===Alchohol-Tylenol===
Here is the concoction you've been waiting for!
Rubbing Alchohal + Dirt + Tylenol + Acid + Coffee
Mixed in one mighty brew, and steamed to perfection!

===Dog Bog===
Highly concentrated doggy ear medicine, mixed with paint thinner and a piece of dry ice.
Not for dogs, it will kill them.

===Meat Shake===
You name it, we got it: in the blender of course!
Dog meat, cat meat, racoon meat, baboon meat,
frog meat, fox meat, beaver meat, penguin meat... so many choices!
Blended with 10 different meats and powerful pain killers

-Main Courses-

===Clammy Chowder===
Served cold. Might be frozen. Contains unknown radioactive ingredients.

===Magical Paste===
Made of drywall, lime, beer, ricotta cheese, and pale orange juice.
It cleanses the mind!
!Be sure to look for a bonus drywall on the side!

===Burnt Soup===
Tastes just like steak, basking in the raw heat of the sun for three years.

===Pigeon and Monkey Musical===
A massive mixture of fresh pigeon and monkey roadkill.
Can be served with one of the two dressing- Motor Oil, Liquid Nitrogen

===Sulferic Acid Shrimp===
Shrimp cooked in pure sulfuric acid.
It might taste good, if you still have a tongue after eating it.

===Smiley Pancakes===
Piss-filled bread, shaped in a circle and topped with poison ivy.
Does NOT look like a smiley face.

-Side Courses-

===Scales===
Like chips. Only hard, salty, and disgusting.

===Feces===
Everyone knows what these choclatey treats are...

===Fingers===
Your choice of fingers from monkeys, gorillas, humans, or sloths.
Sloth fingers may take longer than the rest to get to you.

===Toest===
Not a misspelling. Everybody's favourite appendage, served up crispy and buttered!
Available with or without nail.

-Pastries & Desserts-

===Mucus Cake===
With your choice of a juicy, rotten tomato filling, or a tangy, worm filling.
-Is always served with mucus frosting-

==='Bone'ana Split===
Two raw, rotten pig bones placed in a cracked stone bowl from the Caveman Era! Includes your choice of frozen bile, or disease infested feces.

===Circular Surprise!===
A thick piece of dryed out chalk, stuffed and chilled with raw salmon.

===Doughnuts===
...with blood frosting
...with extra fingernail sprinkles
...chef's special

===Assorted Danish===
(with blood frosting)


All employees:







Oasis Writer - Big Man, Foreseer of all things awesome, Virgin Hunter, Mafia King!


Wisp - Head Chef, Inventor of New and Brilliant Foods

Dephere - Waitress with a bright smile, Café Hermit, Assistant Manager

Titania - Corrupt Health Inspector, Waitress, Awesomous Dudette

Mr. Murder - Permanent Virgin...I mean trainee....yeah....

Apply as you see fit

Enjoy!

kal 06-20-2006 11:03 PM

wow.. this place has character ;)

Oasis Writer 06-20-2006 11:05 PM

*Takes a breather* Okay...a new place to go insane :D

DFischer 06-20-2006 11:06 PM

Oasis I used your menu, hope you don't mind.

kal 06-20-2006 11:06 PM

do we have to have insanity?

DFischer 06-20-2006 11:06 PM

*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG*INSANITY* OMFGS OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG OMFG


spam spam spam

onnly I can do this, thanks.

Oasis Writer 06-20-2006 11:07 PM

Used a little too much *points at the bottom of it*

DFischer 06-20-2006 11:09 PM

Updated?

Oasis Writer 06-20-2006 11:11 PM

bwahahah - Sure. That's fine I guess. I like being the Big Man

kal 06-20-2006 11:12 PM

bad bad Ninja.. no spam!

Dephere 06-20-2006 11:13 PM

Umm....I feel like I should start out with something deep....

"We are not limited by the size of our mind, but the breadth of our imagination."

How's that for an entrance....

Oasis Writer 06-20-2006 11:14 PM

:shifty: Are we under attack? *grabs shotgun* I'm safe....not sure about the rest of you.

Jay 06-20-2006 11:16 PM

And if I am bribed, I will make gumbos, etoufees, and select boiled crustaceans (shrimp, crab. crawfish).

This place is awesome.

Dephere 06-20-2006 11:17 PM

That was quoting me, BTW....just so you know. :D

I made it up, at least, but I'm hoping no one else ever said that.

Oasis Writer 06-20-2006 11:18 PM

I'll bribe you for the seafood Jay, that sounds good right now. And I think I read that on the back of my Kix box once Dephy.

kal 06-20-2006 11:20 PM

Well I have rum and my first mate I'm happy...

Dephere 06-20-2006 11:22 PM

No you didn't, Oasis. *continues to eat Kix*

Oasis Writer 06-20-2006 11:23 PM

I'm glad your happy Beth :D...we so need an alian smile...do we have one???....wow, that's random......

Oh....sorry Dephere, was mistaken :D

Jay 06-20-2006 11:24 PM

Now it's time for me to delve into getting just a few more listings....

Oasis Writer 06-20-2006 11:25 PM

Have fun Jay :D

As for me...I'm tired....*(wow)* So, good night all. :D

kal 06-20-2006 11:25 PM

why an alien?

Oasis Writer 06-20-2006 11:27 PM

I hit colon twice, so it looked like a smily with four eyes. like - ::D Reminded me of an alian.

Err.... : : D without the spaces

DFischer 06-20-2006 11:29 PM

I'm an alien people.

That's my secret.

HobGadling 06-20-2006 11:31 PM

Mmm, cafes. Even though I just spent a week in Seattle I still crave coffee...

Dephere 06-20-2006 11:31 PM

*gasp*

kal 06-20-2006 11:33 PM

I bet its not thats the throw you off the scent..

he's really a pirate!

Dephere 06-20-2006 11:34 PM

Oh, I see now. Can we call him Morgan?

kal 06-20-2006 11:35 PM

I'd never shoot him!!

when I name an officer you can call him that.

Dephere 06-20-2006 11:36 PM

...*gets a brilliant idea*

HobGadling 06-20-2006 11:36 PM

Arr, Pirates unite!


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