WritersBeat.com (http://forums.writersbeat.com/index.php)
-   Scripts (http://forums.writersbeat.com/forumdisplay.php?f=12)
-   -   Feedback for script - Fragments of a Broken Heart (http://forums.writersbeat.com/showthread.php?t=54488)

mmkp1990 09-20-2014 01:54 AM

Feedback for script - Fragments of a Broken Heart
Hello, I am wondering if anyone can give me honest feedback on the first part of my script? 5 pages and I am hoping that I am heading towards the right direction.

Log line: A traditional animation feature length focusing on the survival, consequences and hardships two young siblings must endure after the death of their parents from a devastating tsunami.

You can access the PDF here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B32...it?usp=sharing

If anybody can point out certain sections I am going wrong regarding writing style, dialogue etc then it will be really helpful because it seems like I am still making novice mistakes and need more guidance.

Thank you

All times are GMT -8. The time now is 12:49 AM.

vBulletin, Copyright 2000-2006, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.