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Forum: Poetry 05-08-2013, 01:35 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 528
Posted By kal
I do tend to write very literal poetry, but I can...

I do tend to write very literal poetry, but I can appreciate where you're coming from. I just personally think it still needs to flow and for me it doesn't. There's too much going on, and like I said...
Forum: Poetry 05-08-2013, 01:33 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 617
Posted By kal
yes there is freedom, but if the words cannot be...

yes there is freedom, but if the words cannot be understood, what is the point in writing them down?

I'll look at this when I have time to do it properly.
Forum: Introductions 04-28-2013, 02:49 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 463
Posted By kal
You did fine at the dolt sounding avoidance. ...

You did fine at the dolt sounding avoidance.

Welcome aboard!

Scoot around, get comfy and make sure you give feedback as well as recieve. It's only polite.
Forum: Introductions 04-28-2013, 02:47 PM
Replies: 3
Hi
Views: 494
Posted By kal
Nice to see you've thrown yourself in, I've only...

Nice to see you've thrown yourself in, I've only been back for a day and I didn't have a clue you were new here.
Forum: Fiction 04-28-2013, 02:46 PM
Replies: 13
Views: 3,015
Posted By kal
I've just had a quick glance at your prologue and...

I've just had a quick glance at your prologue and you throw a lot of things into it. The game itselt is beautifully sweet and enticing, but then there's a sister, and a bracelet and a mystery and...
Forum: Poetry 04-28-2013, 02:40 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 617
Posted By kal
I'm not going to review this until two things...

I'm not going to review this until two things happen. 1, you standardise your capitalisation. Do it properly or not at all. 2, you put some punctuation in there. I'm not even going to attempt to read...
Forum: Poetry 04-28-2013, 02:38 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 528
Posted By kal
Firstly, punctuation is your friend. Where has...

Firstly, punctuation is your friend. Where has your friend gone?

L2, lightness everywhere
L3 shadows?? where did they come from?

Seriously you need to punctuate this, because I cannot tell if...
Forum: Fiction 04-28-2013, 02:28 PM
Replies: 13
Views: 3,015
Posted By kal
I'm going to be honest. I haven't read your...

I'm going to be honest. I haven't read your prologue, but I just wanted to say this; this subject divides writers like no other. Some hate it, some find them useful, most will have an opinion on it....
Forum: Fiction 04-28-2013, 01:19 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 742
Posted By kal
Everything I or anyone else say are only ever...

Everything I or anyone else say are only ever suggestions. So go with your own instinct.

It's hard to write sometimes when you know something so itimately.
Forum: Fiction 04-28-2013, 01:09 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 742
Posted By kal
Red are my comments, the sections of your work...

Red are my comments, the sections of your work I'm referring to will be underlined.
Green are bits I like.
Strike through are parts you just don't need.
I'll try to explain myself as best I can,...
Forum: Introductions 04-28-2013, 12:05 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 385
Posted By kal
Just call me Lazarus.

Hello, my name's kal and I'm a serial offender.

As you can see I haven't just stumbled across this place, at least not for the first time.

I'm a graduate of an Imaginative Writing degree. I...
Forum: Poetry 02-05-2011, 03:24 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 396
Posted By kal
Barbara in the attic

As daughters
we nearly all had Barbies®
long legs, perfect hair and fixed gaze.

She was our dream,
our idol worshipped in dollhouses,
on shelves, in boxes under the bed.

She and her friends...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 01-23-2011, 06:35 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 1,039
Posted By kal
Anyone remember me?

Been a looooong time, but I'm trying to get back into my writing, sort out the mass of boxes I have of notes and books and scribbles.

Just wondering if there are any faces I knew before, I know...
Forum: Poetry 03-19-2010, 10:01 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 475
Posted By kal
late night google

I searched
for your home on Google™ maps,
So much greenery
in the emerald isle.
I clicked on street-view
to better take in your home.
It was smaller than I imagined-
like our friendship,...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 03-18-2010, 08:10 PM
Replies: 63
Views: 2,090
Posted By kal
Mermiads. Plain and simple. As for the...

Mermiads. Plain and simple.

As for the vampire comment that it's Meyer that's increased them, only in main stream popularity. Those types of books have always been there you just never had them on...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 03-18-2010, 08:07 PM
Replies: 15
Views: 1,256
Posted By kal
Yeah I was just glad to be doing something...

Yeah I was just glad to be doing something productive again.

It's sort of my own kind of zombie.. I guess. That bit's not fully worked out. lol.
Forum: Writers' Cafe 03-18-2010, 12:31 PM
Replies: 15
Views: 1,256
Posted By kal
I got the first third written today... maybe I'll...

I got the first third written today... maybe I'll get the last part done tonigh. :) Good times!
Forum: The Library 03-16-2010, 08:44 PM
Replies: 27
Views: 1,967
Posted By kal
I'm loving the stackhouse mysteries... and it's...

I'm loving the stackhouse mysteries... and it's not al vamps, yes they're werewolves but it feels like a much more natural progression than oh shit I need another enemy I can't write vamps anymore....
Forum: Writers' Cafe 03-15-2010, 11:12 AM
Replies: 86
Views: 2,610
Posted By kal
I didn't remeber the name but I remember the...

I didn't remeber the name but I remember the face...

He also reminds me of the machine Wallace and Gromit find on the moon.

http://wg.popcorn.cx/films/gdo/images/cookerlooking.jpg
Forum: Writing Help & Issues 03-15-2010, 11:05 AM
Replies: 41
Views: 3,217
Posted By kal
I'm writing a stand alone book. And nearly...

I'm writing a stand alone book. And nearly everyone I've explained it too said ooh you could do a prequel and a sequel to that. But I don't want to. The point of the story is that we don't talk about...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 03-10-2010, 06:40 PM
Replies: 15
Views: 1,256
Posted By kal
It is going to be a more aware zombie than is...

It is going to be a more aware zombie than is usally portrayed.

And mostly about the change over, maybe in 2 sections the before and after. There are a lot of detals that need to be worked out but...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 03-10-2010, 06:24 PM
Replies: 15
Views: 1,256
Posted By kal
Zombie Love Story?

Do you think it could work, a true love story involving euthanasia, funerals and eloping?

Just tell me whast you think. I'm a rusty prose writer, so basically it's just notes.
Forum: Writing Help & Issues 03-10-2010, 05:59 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 3,916
Posted By kal
Harris, author of the Southern Vampire Mysteries...

Harris, author of the Southern Vampire Mysteries aka True Blood books refers to her characters size directly, maybe alittle more often than is nessecary bt I am reading the entire series pretty fast....
Forum: Writers' Cafe 03-08-2010, 11:47 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 823
Posted By kal
been drinking champagne out of a bucket again...

been drinking champagne out of a bucket again winter?
Forum: Writers' Cafe 03-05-2010, 03:23 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 823
Posted By kal
That was a brilliant summary. Hopefully after...

That was a brilliant summary. Hopefully after Saturday I'll be able to munch through some of the poetry and get back on my own feet.
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