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Search: Posts Made By: Patient Zer0
Forum: Previous Contests 07-19-2009, 09:58 AM
Replies: 10
Views: 2,504
Posted By Patient Zer0
Soul Erosion

The stream carves
a meandering path
down her thigh,
a solution
of blood and tears.

Scapegoat clutched in
her trembling hand.
This act is purely symbolic.
Forum: Previous Contests 07-19-2009, 09:23 AM
Replies: 19
Views: 2,674
Posted By Patient Zer0
Icon7 Lovely lovely!

Lovely lovely!
Forum: Previous Contests 07-19-2009, 05:50 AM
Replies: 19
Views: 2,674
Posted By Patient Zer0
How broad is the interpretation of the theme to...

How broad is the interpretation of the theme to be?
Forum: Non-Fiction 07-19-2009, 01:53 AM
Replies: 14
Views: 1,916
Posted By Patient Zer0
Beautiful, simply beautiful. This story played...

Beautiful, simply beautiful. This story played through my mind in my dad's voice, which made it even more amusing. Thanks for a great read.
Forum: Poetry 07-19-2009, 01:16 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 1,153
Posted By Patient Zer0
Icon10 I got a good many smiles out of this one, and I'm...

I got a good many smiles out of this one, and I'm not much for critiquing yet, so I'll just have to say that this was wonderfully entertaining, and a great tale of youthful indiscretions. Thanks for...
Forum: Poetry 07-19-2009, 12:30 AM
Replies: 6
ehh
Views: 970
Posted By Patient Zer0
Icon14 I didn't think that the critique was too clinical...

I didn't think that the critique was too clinical at all. I believe that whilst we must think holistically about art and such, the parts that make up that whole are still quite interesting. Thank...
Forum: Poetry 07-19-2009, 12:03 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 557
Posted By Patient Zer0
Icon14 "Let me sit in this hell where old memories...

"Let me sit in this hell
where old memories rise---"

...and the last stanza are really wonderful.
I really liked the last stanza. Simple with roots in reality.
Forum: Poetry 07-18-2009, 04:50 PM
Replies: 6
ehh
Views: 970
Posted By Patient Zer0
Thank you for the feedback. Formatting has never...

Thank you for the feedback. Formatting has never been my strong suit, haha. I read through my work as I go to get the rhythm, so I never really worried about signaling rhythm with formatting. I...
Forum: Poetry 07-18-2009, 12:12 AM
Replies: 6
ehh
Views: 970
Posted By Patient Zer0
ehh

Duality is An Understatement.
-Patient Zer0-
--------------------------
Mosaic is too delicate.
It implies harmony.
In truth, my transient heart
and scattered soul can be
better...
Forum: Poetry 07-17-2009, 03:13 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 782
Posted By Patient Zer0
It's because in this instant the eyes are having...

It's because in this instant the eyes are having a conversation. I suppose letters don't fall, but tears look like letters in this setting because they say so much, I guess, is what I was trying to...
Forum: Poetry 07-17-2009, 02:25 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 782
Posted By Patient Zer0
"They naught but a cold stare did find, ('mine -...

"They naught but a cold stare did find, ('mine - find' isn't a perfect rhyme, and kind of breaks the rhythm you expect. If that is your aim, well done, but if it's not, you might want to try and find...
Forum: Poetry 07-16-2009, 01:31 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 667
Posted By Patient Zer0
Walt Whitman, T.S. Eliot, Langston Hughes....

Walt Whitman, T.S. Eliot, Langston Hughes. Countless others.
Forum: Poetry 07-16-2009, 01:17 AM
Replies: 14
Views: 1,643
Posted By Patient Zer0
Icon14 The last line is wonderful. I might have to...

The last line is wonderful. I might have to steal it =] Just to play, of course.

As per your comment about your poetry not making sense, hey, Das EFX barely ever made any sense to me, but they...
Forum: Nine and Sixty Ways Poetry Tools and Lessons 07-16-2009, 12:38 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 7,134
Posted By Patient Zer0
"What about the secret places where she cuts?...

"What about the secret places where she cuts? Could you describe them in a way that could apply equally to hidden paper and covered body parts? Where do people hide diaries, for instance? Under the...
Forum: Nine and Sixty Ways Poetry Tools and Lessons 07-15-2009, 09:55 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 7,134
Posted By Patient Zer0
Icon14 Thanks. I am glad to have joined this site. I'm...

Thanks. I am glad to have joined this site. I'm getting such wonderful feedback!
Forum: Poetry 07-15-2009, 01:40 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 706
Posted By Patient Zer0
Here's a shot. Inspiration. Hidden...

Here's a shot.

Inspiration.
Hidden collaboration.
The sender, unaware.
The receiver eternally grateful.

Silently sparking synapses,
It flows.
Illuminates once dull depths
Forum: Poetry 07-15-2009, 12:58 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 731
Posted By Patient Zer0
I scrapped it. haha. My pseudonym's alter-ego...

I scrapped it. haha. My pseudonym's alter-ego "imPatient Zer0" took over. I think something wonderful happened, however.
New title "A Nacreous Guise"

A jet black heart
pumps prismatic...
Forum: Poetry 07-15-2009, 12:11 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 782
Posted By Patient Zer0
Thank you. This was a pretty old one. Sort of a...

Thank you. This was a pretty old one. Sort of a diamond-in-the-rough for my earlier poetic endeavors. =]
Forum: Poetry 07-15-2009, 12:10 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 731
Posted By Patient Zer0
Thanks for the idea. For some reason I just seem...

Thanks for the idea. For some reason I just seem to stop sometimes. I tend to get scared of tall things. Tall people, tall poems, tall buildings, etc. lol. Let's hope I can conquer my fears...
Forum: Poetry 07-15-2009, 12:01 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 782
Posted By Patient Zer0
Eyes Betray the Lies.

Her eyes sought solace in mine,
unable to hide her fears.
They naught but a cold stare did find,
as they welled up with tears.

In the moment it had lingered there,
her heart my gaze had...
Forum: Poetry 07-14-2009, 11:55 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 706
Posted By Patient Zer0
Thank you for bringing that up. I'm kinda lazy...

Thank you for bringing that up. I'm kinda lazy so I need impetus to do anything, haha. I'm glad I changed that line. I like how it even kinda rhymes with "flows" =]
Forum: Poetry 07-14-2009, 11:43 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 706
Posted By Patient Zer0
I wasn't really trying to create any effect with...

I wasn't really trying to create any effect with it. Perhaps I could change the first "mind" to "soul" or some other facsimile.
Forum: Poetry 07-14-2009, 11:26 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 706
Posted By Patient Zer0
Inspiration

Inspiration.
Hidden collaboration.
The sender, unaware.
The receiver,
eternally grateful.

Silently sparking
synaptic activity,
it flows,
illuminating the
Forum: Nine and Sixty Ways Poetry Tools and Lessons 07-14-2009, 11:16 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 7,134
Posted By Patient Zer0
I like the ideas you had. Perhaps a re-write in...

I like the ideas you had. Perhaps a re-write in a new direction is in order... =] This was supposed to be about self-harm. The "writing" is the self-harm. The ink screaming where no one hears is...
Forum: Poetry 07-14-2009, 11:06 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 731
Posted By Patient Zer0
It was a little sloppy. It's supposed to be...

It was a little sloppy. It's supposed to be about putting up a front. Like the black heart is the truth, the darkness, what the subject is afraid to show. The prismatic blood is the false...
Showing results 1 to 25 of 32

 

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