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Forum: Fiction 02-24-2018, 09:25 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 626
Posted By TimeWaster
A remarkable tale you have woven here. It's very...

A remarkable tale you have woven here. It's very hard-hitting, and comes packed with a message that has significance for any reader's individual life, whoever they might be. You don't see much of...
Forum: Fiction 02-17-2018, 09:45 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 413
Posted By TimeWaster
I posted just a very small excerpt in this thread...

I posted just a very small excerpt in this thread (I'll add more if you'd really like to see it).

The ultimate confrontation scene, which also happens to be the climax, is one that I am still...
Forum: Fiction 02-17-2018, 08:06 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 413
Posted By TimeWaster
Forum: Fiction 05-22-2017, 12:21 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 791
Posted By TimeWaster
I toyed with the idea of adding something like...

I toyed with the idea of adding something like that, but I was trying to keep it short for a contest with a word count limitation.
Forum: Non-Fiction 05-21-2017, 10:18 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 1,003
Posted By TimeWaster
Forum: Fiction 05-20-2017, 04:55 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 791
Posted By TimeWaster
Forum: The Library 05-20-2016, 08:31 PM
Replies: 3,717
Views: 281,545
Posted By TimeWaster
I've been reading Robert Jordan's "Wheel of Time"...

I've been reading Robert Jordan's "Wheel of Time" series lately. You'd be hard-pressed to find more enjoyable reading.

I'm also working on "Brideshead Revisited" by Evelyn Waugh. It's quite good...
Forum: Fiction 05-20-2016, 08:26 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 996
Posted By TimeWaster
Feast (1,283 words)

This is a rather bizarre short story I've been working on for a couple of months. I'm not sure what to think of it myself, so feedback would be much appreciated.


Feast




Caius...
Forum: Poetry 08-13-2015, 04:48 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 630
Posted By TimeWaster
Let Me

Note



This is my first attempt at poetry, so be nice ;)



Let Me
Forum: Fiction 08-13-2015, 02:43 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 767
Posted By TimeWaster
Thanks you very much for those observations. ...

Thanks you very much for those observations.

I'll make sure and cover those in my next revision.
Forum: Fiction 08-13-2015, 02:39 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 767
Posted By TimeWaster
Thanks for feedback! My intended audience...

Thanks for feedback!

My intended audience is adults, but the story tends to have a younger appeal, I admit.

I wrote this story as a kind of salute to whimsical American stories such as "Rip...
Forum: Fiction 08-13-2015, 11:52 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 767
Posted By TimeWaster
Jimmy Flew (1,852 words)

Jimmy Flew
Jimmy always wanted to fly. He tried to build machines, but they never worked. He tried to glide from high places, but that never worked. Jimmy became so frustrated that he decided...
Forum: Fiction 08-07-2015, 01:23 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 573
Posted By TimeWaster
I've actually read some of your earlier chapters,...

I've actually read some of your earlier chapters, and the book overall has promise. It's humorous, witty, original, and has a Kurt Vonnegut vibe. But you have to drop the numbers. They're what's...
Forum: Fiction 08-01-2015, 05:51 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 951
Posted By TimeWaster
Your mistakes can't be that bad. I found this...

Your mistakes can't be that bad. I found this story both well-written and fascinating, and your audience should too. The background information you revealed was somewhat sparse, but your storytelling...
Forum: Fiction 07-31-2015, 06:20 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 651
Posted By TimeWaster
Wow, thanks! I appreciate it. Marketing the...

Wow, thanks! I appreciate it.

Marketing the story will be an uphill battle, for sure. But there's a certain magazine I have in mind.
Forum: Fiction 07-30-2015, 09:29 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 651
Posted By TimeWaster
The Poppy (3,174 words)

Introduction



This was originally an idea I had for a short film, but I decided to salvage it into a story. Set in ancient Greece, it is the tale of a husband and wife separated by years of...
Forum: Introductions 07-30-2015, 08:37 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 722
Posted By TimeWaster
Well you may be new to WB, but you're certainly...

Well you may be new to WB, but you're certainly no stranger to writing. Welcome aboard!
Forum: Fiction 07-30-2015, 08:22 PM
Replies: 25
Views: 2,101
Posted By TimeWaster
Too many commas. Try to eliminate most of them,...

Too many commas. Try to eliminate most of them, particularly in the first paragraph.

With this kind of dystopian setting, you might consider adding more background info. As a reader, I felt...
Forum: Fiction 07-30-2015, 03:45 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 1,035
Posted By TimeWaster
I enjoy what you've done here, especially with...

I enjoy what you've done here, especially with the back story and physical descriptions. The reader is enveloped within the world of the story, right from the get-go. That's very good.

Whatever...
Forum: Fiction 07-30-2015, 02:30 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 1,174
Posted By TimeWaster
You've got a good suspense novel in the works...

You've got a good suspense novel in the works here. The more I read, the more the story gripped.

Your narration is pro-level. It reminds me a little bit of Mary Higgins Clark.

The part...
Forum: Fiction 07-30-2015, 02:12 PM
Replies: 12
Views: 1,565
Posted By TimeWaster
Your narration is excellent. It's very natural...

Your narration is excellent. It's very natural and vivid.

The story, however, is somewhat anti-climactic. Aside from a teen-age girl getting angry, not much really happens. The audience doesn't...
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