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Forum: Fiction 03-07-2012, 01:11 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 848
Posted By Louis
Fixed!

Fixed!
Forum: Fiction 03-07-2012, 12:37 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 848
Posted By Louis
I have no idea where the asterisks came from,...

I have no idea where the asterisks came from, they are supposed to be inverted commas. I edited on my iphone and posted maybe that's why.
Forum: Fiction 03-07-2012, 12:32 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 848
Posted By Louis
Blossoms On Our Peach Tree (Short story)

Pink. Paper thin clusters of newness announce the arrival of spring. Sal is in the house.

'Sal! You need to see this. Never seen so many blossoms on the tree.'

She hears me. I have a booming...
Forum: Non-Fiction 03-06-2012, 11:08 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 997
Posted By Louis
This was poetic and mellow. I would have danced...

This was poetic and mellow. I would have danced my way back home in that moonlight. The last para needs to be removed but not the last line.

Here is the most beautiful thing i have ever seen:
...
Forum: Free Writing 03-06-2012, 09:49 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 475
Posted By Louis
Cont from previous post: i would like to have all...

Cont from previous post: i would like to have all that you are willing to give, sure. Whether i will give back to society, well, thats another discussion altogether. Interesting thought you have.
Forum: Free Writing 03-06-2012, 09:47 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 475
Posted By Louis
Well, i certainly would abuse my car, just so...

Well, i certainly would abuse my car, just so that i could have another. I would spend the million in a day judt to get another million. I would take this government to court to see that i get this....
Forum: Free Writing 03-06-2012, 09:30 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 508
Posted By Louis
Hmmm...John, i think you are trying to allude to...

Hmmm...John, i think you are trying to allude to a distant utopian dream yet to be conceptualized. Usurped democracy, fallible fascism, undeniable capitalism have taken toll and it seems Sha seeks a...
Forum: Fiction 03-06-2012, 08:59 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 1,034
Posted By Louis
King of description you are, sir. You place me...

King of description you are, sir. You place me right in the middle of it all. I have presence. Wow. Im disappointed you didn't mention me....l. Ja, a good edit and it will be faaantastic M. I enjoy...
Forum: Fiction 03-05-2012, 12:12 AM
Replies: 30
Views: 2,279
Posted By Louis
The inuendos in this brilliant piece are endless....

The inuendos in this brilliant piece are endless. Lifelong friends, one married with kids, meet for a cuppa on a winter's day. One believes their lives are mundane. The other seems to regret her own...
Forum: Fiction 03-03-2012, 09:34 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 1,169
Posted By Louis
Emotions - prayer - a cry in the long morning of...

Emotions - prayer - a cry in the long morning of our lives where war embraces all. But in the long day war comes and goes, and so do our emotions. We all keep a scrapbook of emotions to be tapped at...
Forum: Fiction 03-01-2012, 04:41 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 615
Posted By Louis
So not expected .... Hahahahaaaa... Excellent....

So not expected .... Hahahahaaaa... Excellent. Fix it and it will be oh so ready to market. Lekker story. Loved it.
Forum: Research Section 03-01-2012, 02:30 AM
Replies: 44
Views: 14,855
Posted By Louis
I start with a title. Create the lead, the...

I start with a title.
Create the lead, the confidant, and the antagonist
I interview them and write copious notes about each one
They tell me who to introduce into the story
I write the story. A...
Forum: Free Writing 03-01-2012, 02:01 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 1,063
Posted By Louis
Sounds like fun

Sounds like fun
Forum: Fiction 03-01-2012, 01:13 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 672
Posted By Louis
I thought about for example and well, ja ja but...

I thought about for example and well, ja ja but but it's ok it's not okay so i did not mention it. I should have. When in doubt, strike it out. Thanks heysamsays lol
Forum: Fiction 03-01-2012, 01:08 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 672
Posted By Louis
Hi Agatha Characterisation: julie's character...

Hi Agatha
Characterisation: julie's character is well done. I dont like to read about just anybody. She seems to be a lively somebody. This is good. Inquisitive i like. In a sense we all are...
Forum: Fiction 02-29-2012, 09:39 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 1,169
Posted By Louis
Hi JP thank you. John - not his real name, is...

Hi JP thank you. John - not his real name, is dead now. He left me reams of notes and anecdotes of his experiences during that time of tears. His writing (longhand) is so jittery its difficult to...
Forum: Free Writing 02-29-2012, 11:02 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 685
Posted By Louis
Okaaaaay. Now that we have Romance...

Okaaaaay.
Now that we have Romance pit-pattering about, did Johnny ever find Romance again, after that? You don't tell us that. LOL Neat twist. I was wondering where you were headed with this. ...
Forum: Free Writing 02-29-2012, 04:45 AM
Replies: 13
Views: 1,037
Posted By Louis
Politics and religion. I'm not from the UK but in...

Politics and religion. I'm not from the UK but in South Africa they would never allow it. I'm sure the Brits are above this kind of thing. As i understand it, they are a monority in GB. They haven't...
Forum: Free Writing 02-29-2012, 04:37 AM
Replies: 13
Views: 1,037
Posted By Louis
Thanks for the input John and Mike. Yup... We...

Thanks for the input John and Mike. Yup... We live and learn every day. But those who advocate Sharia feel vindicated by the Koran just as the Vatican felt vindicated when they murdered in the name...
Forum: Free Writing 02-29-2012, 03:28 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 491
Posted By Louis
Cold Shoulder (Flash Fiction)

The challenge was to use the words "cold shoulder " in a 60 word flash. I decided to pun it: does it work?

Dad ignores the roast chicken dinner I prepared, it might as well have been cold...
Forum: Free Writing 02-29-2012, 01:39 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 734
Posted By Louis
I read the piece twice and yup, i do apologise...

I read the piece twice and yup, i do apologise for saying " verbose " but on first read that's how it came across. John is a great writer and he has placed a lot on the Mayan's plate . For instance,...
Forum: Free Writing 02-29-2012, 01:15 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 734
Posted By Louis
Well written dictionary churning work. But thats...

Well written dictionary churning work. But thats good. Many writers dont use a dictionary and maybe this will jar them. Lol. When i first heard of the Mayans I was flabbergasted. They had predicted...
Forum: Non-Fiction 02-29-2012, 12:50 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 1,001
Posted By Louis
Excellent. I laughed and laughed. You go girl....

Excellent. I laughed and laughed. You go girl. Take that aerobics class and May the force be with you. Any health magazine will be delighted to buy this piece. Your way of writing is so cool. If i...
Forum: Fiction 02-28-2012, 11:44 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 740
Posted By Louis
Extremely brave. I need to remind myself that...

Extremely brave. I need to remind myself that this is fiction. The Good Book is based on belief and Faith. Eish, the punctuation! Lol if i were to quote the Bible and make fiction out of Faith, I...
Forum: Fiction 02-28-2012, 10:16 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 1,169
Posted By Louis
The Morning of June 10th 1943

The first sounds of war came at dawn.

The siren screamed down the alleys of Fulton, up the steep embankment of the school grounds, through every window of every home and every corridor of every...
Showing results 1 to 25 of 68

 

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