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Forum: Fiction 10-19-2016, 09:33 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 1,502
Posted By Pete
The Deracinate (459 words)

(This is a 459-word long excerpt from of a story I've recently finished, which is an inspired homage to "Where Are You Going Where Have You Been" by Joyce Carol Oates. My main character is a vain,...
Forum: Fiction 09-25-2016, 09:47 AM
Replies: 15
Views: 2,225
Posted By Pete
Very vivid, struck me as reminiscent of a quietus...

Very vivid, struck me as reminiscent of a quietus story. But the narrative and vision was all original to me.
Forum: Fiction 09-25-2016, 09:42 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 1,173
Posted By Pete
This even invoked heartfelt sensations in me. I...

This even invoked heartfelt sensations in me. I would suggest for dramatic effect, perhaps have the numerical steps be a standalone paragraph. But very good
Forum: Fiction 09-25-2016, 09:38 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 893
Posted By Pete
Very nice opening. The suspense where you left...

Very nice opening. The suspense where you left off is very alluring. My one note was I would've liked some more physical descriptions, like what exactly was the strange garb the men at the gates...
Forum: Fiction 09-25-2016, 09:35 AM
Replies: 23
Views: 6,750
Posted By Pete
I loved the dialogue, very realistic to the...

I loved the dialogue, very realistic to the situation. And the plot twist threw me for a loop. I loved it. I really like stories where something unexpected comes in to throw off the dynamic or...
Forum: Fiction 09-25-2016, 09:29 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 1,552
Posted By Pete
Love the realistic and gruff narrative voice...

Love the realistic and gruff narrative voice throughout. I've always appreciated stories where the narrator is a character, and doesn't lose that sense.
Forum: Members' Feedback 09-24-2016, 07:05 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 8,025
Posted By Pete
Help me take a step

Hey writers,

I'm Pete, new member. For my first appeal to my fellow lovers of the written word, I want to ask for some advice. I've recently finished a short story called "Slated Track." It...
Forum: Introductions 09-24-2016, 06:58 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 842
Posted By Pete
I'm Pete

Hello everyone,

My name's Pete. I'm an avid writer, but I haven't had much to show for it. Apart from one story in a debut fantasy lit magazine I have received nothing but rejection notices....
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