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Search: Posts Made By: JesseK1213
Forum: Fiction 07-15-2018, 02:25 PM
Replies: 27
Views: 432
Posted By JesseK1213
I agree, but in the situation of breaking and...

I agree, but in the situation of breaking and entering, it doesn't ring true. Unless you've had a pistol to your face a dozen or more times, you're not going to act the way your MC acts. Truthfully,...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 07-05-2018, 07:05 PM
Replies: 46
Views: 2,216
Posted By JesseK1213
How coy.

How coy.
Forum: Writers' Cafe 07-05-2018, 06:15 PM
Replies: 46
Views: 2,216
Posted By JesseK1213
Bleh. It's unrealistic to hope for a Miyagi in a...

Bleh. It's unrealistic to hope for a Miyagi in a writing forum. That's to say, one who's actually walked the walk and can provide the "wax on, wax off" kind of critique, the stork-stance that will...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 07-04-2018, 06:04 PM
Replies: 46
Views: 2,216
Posted By JesseK1213
Speaking as a relative newcomer who joined well...

Speaking as a relative newcomer who joined well after this forum's heyday (or so I've been told), the only way to get this place active is with a surge of new content (in the fiction, member's only,...
Forum: The Intellectual Table 07-04-2018, 05:31 PM
Replies: 164
Views: 2,398
Posted By JesseK1213
“If what Jesus said was good, what can it matter...

“If what Jesus said was good, what can it matter whether he was God or not?” -- Kurt Vonnegut (who's up in heaven now, or at least, that's his favorite joke)
Forum: Writers' Cafe 07-04-2018, 12:14 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 198
Posted By JesseK1213
I tend to agree with Shane. Rules (or guidelines,...

I tend to agree with Shane. Rules (or guidelines, maybe that's a better word) are certainly there for a reason. When a shitty writer doesn't follow the rules, the writing is shittier. When a shitty...
Forum: Fiction 05-20-2018, 01:49 PM
Replies: 62
Views: 3,014
Posted By JesseK1213
I just wanted to chime in here and say that I...

I just wanted to chime in here and say that I always suspected Brian was a “plaid shorts” kind of guy.

Carry on.
Forum: Fiction 05-14-2018, 04:46 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 819
Posted By JesseK1213
Feels too preachy and thin to be a story. It also...

Feels too preachy and thin to be a story. It also doesn’t feel very honest - I feel like the author is trying to tell me somehing rather than the story takes. I would suggest taking a step back and...
Forum: Lyrics 03-24-2018, 11:57 AM
Replies: 30
Views: 2,281
Posted By JesseK1213
I dig it. Mellow but crunchy. Do you play...

I dig it. Mellow but crunchy.

Do you play all the instruments on the track?

I'm a drummer, so I'd like to hear a little more variation there, but the simple beat works for the song. I would...
Forum: Fiction 03-24-2018, 11:40 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 1,242
Posted By JesseK1213
I read most of the stuff you post, Nick. Goddamn....

I read most of the stuff you post, Nick. Goddamn. It's good.

It's your voice.

I don't have any critiques. I just like it. A lot.
Forum: Fiction 03-03-2018, 10:50 PM
Replies: 62
Views: 3,014
Posted By JesseK1213
Don't read it. The efficacy of my writing, or...

Don't read it. The efficacy of my writing, or lack thereof, has no bearing on my comment, and that comment is, You two are children.

Am I trying to write? You bet your ass I am, trying being the...
Forum: Fiction 03-03-2018, 06:48 PM
Replies: 62
Views: 3,014
Posted By JesseK1213
Yes.

Yes.
Forum: Fiction 03-03-2018, 01:21 PM
Replies: 62
Views: 3,014
Posted By JesseK1213
Jesus, you two are embarrassing. Is anyone...

Jesus, you two are embarrassing.

Is anyone else here actually trying to write?
Forum: Fiction 03-03-2018, 10:13 AM
Replies: 58
Views: 3,748
Posted By JesseK1213
I don't like Kaylee. I get that's the intention,...

I don't like Kaylee. I get that's the intention, but I don't even like that I hate her. She's smarmy, but it seems forced. She just found out that her mother was in the hospital and had been shot......
Forum: Fiction 02-17-2018, 07:50 PM
Replies: 58
Views: 3,748
Posted By JesseK1213
I think there's a lot of dialogue - it's pretty...

I think there's a lot of dialogue - it's pretty much the whole story. I could be wrong, but I think that's what Brian is saying about telling and not showing.

The "story" of this piece is...
Forum: The Library 02-05-2018, 06:10 PM
Replies: 16
Views: 1,841
Posted By JesseK1213
The Brothers Karamozov. Another is Blood...

The Brothers Karamozov.

Another is Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. I've tried a couple times, and I want to finish it, I just... can't.
Forum: Fiction 01-02-2018, 07:34 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 498
Posted By JesseK1213
I hear that. Colder weather, huh? Cue Zac Brown. ...

I hear that. Colder weather, huh? Cue Zac Brown.

Good to see you back. I saw what you posted in the Members section and I'll read/comment on it within the next few days. I have quite a few stories...
Forum: Fiction 01-02-2018, 07:14 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 498
Posted By JesseK1213
Yeah. The fact that he has to pass out and wake...

Yeah. The fact that he has to pass out and wake up again to even make the robbery work - not digging it.

This is one of those that's just going in the dust pile. I don't think it's interesting,...
Forum: Fiction 01-02-2018, 06:46 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 498
Posted By JesseK1213
Thanks, Lockette. The ending was intended to...

Thanks, Lockette.

The ending was intended to be rather dark. He'd moved from a life of gambling to a life of crime. Brett (or one of his associates) robbed the poker game, and Mark told him how to...
Forum: Free Writing 01-01-2018, 11:52 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 548
Posted By JesseK1213
In my world - the one one-millions years from now...

In my world - the one one-millions years from now - humans will be little more than slightly-less-hairy apes. At the end, maybe one of them will grunt, and another will turn their head slightly? Who...
Forum: Free Writing 01-01-2018, 11:25 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 548
Posted By JesseK1213
One Million Years

One million years from now, the entirety of the human population will be deaf. No joke. Ears will have gone the way of the plains buffalo and the wooly mammoth – useless, extinct, unnecessary.
...
Forum: Fiction 12-26-2017, 08:46 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 498
Posted By JesseK1213
Can't Win Em All

I'm not happy with this, but it's all I've finished in the last month.

Can't Win Em All

If he knew anything for sure, it was this: You can’t win em all.

That’s what Mark said to the other...
Forum: Fiction 11-20-2017, 07:39 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 1,185
Posted By JesseK1213
I've never been to Texas. Ironically enough, the...

I've never been to Texas. Ironically enough, the part about "grandpa" is actually true - my grandfather once said that to me, though he's still alive and kicking.

The connection (though it's thin,...
Forum: Fiction 10-31-2017, 10:26 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 449
Posted By JesseK1213
Awesome! Great story and very well written. I...

Awesome! Great story and very well written. I especially liked that the man didn't try to talk her off the ledge - he just talked to her.

Would've liked to learn a little more about our main...
Forum: Fiction 10-30-2017, 05:08 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 873
Posted By JesseK1213
The corrections look much better - good job. ...

The corrections look much better - good job.

What are you doing, though? Keep going! It's impossible to tell if this story will be any good from the first few paragraphs.

I can say that -...
Showing results 1 to 25 of 59

 

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