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Search: Posts Made By: HanksBigShow
Forum: Fiction 07-10-2008, 11:43 AM
Replies: 22
Views: 2,355
Posted By HanksBigShow
Hi Steven. I've read your writing, here,...

Hi Steven.

I've read your writing, here, and the comments. They may seem harsh, but the opinions offered are valid. When I finish writing something, I go back and remove as many words as I can....
Forum: Fiction 07-10-2008, 11:23 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 937
Posted By HanksBigShow
I agree with everything Devon mentioned. I will...

I agree with everything Devon mentioned. I will add: I don't believe the actions of the character read true. He (I assume it's a he) awakens, injured in a hospital room, doesn't know how he got...
Forum: Fiction 07-07-2008, 04:04 PM
Replies: 20
Views: 2,002
Posted By HanksBigShow
I really enjoyed this story. The idea that...

I really enjoyed this story. The idea that everyone was suppose to simply be quiet was great. I liked the fact that it is being told be an "Average Joe."

I was confused on one point. The plan...
Forum: Non-Fiction 06-14-2008, 03:37 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 1,035
Posted By HanksBigShow
I won't comment on the content, only the writing....

I won't comment on the content, only the writing. I think you need to simplify this - to many big words. I found it necessary to decipher nearly every sentence. If I'm thinking about the meaning...
Forum: Fiction 06-14-2008, 03:20 PM
Replies: 18
Views: 1,745
Posted By HanksBigShow
I must comment on this part: There is...

I must comment on this part:



There is a heated discussion. I would like to hear (read) the discussion. I think it would add much to the story.

-Hank
Forum: Fiction 06-14-2008, 03:10 PM
Replies: 23
Views: 1,726
Posted By HanksBigShow
Thanks OnceUponATime. Glad you enjoyed it and...

Thanks OnceUponATime. Glad you enjoyed it and thanks for taking the time to read and comment. Seems this story has gone over well.
Forum: Fiction 06-13-2008, 05:48 PM
Replies: 23
Views: 1,726
Posted By HanksBigShow
Thanks Pepper and JKA for giving it a read and...

Thanks Pepper and JKA for giving it a read and commenting. When I first read your comment, Pepper, about having the guide also be a figment of John's consciousness, I thought: "Hey, that might be...
Forum: Prompts & Challenges 06-12-2008, 03:20 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 1,637
Posted By HanksBigShow
Thanks, nice to hear you enjoy my writing Queen...

Thanks, nice to hear you enjoy my writing Queen of Wands. Not sure I'll re-write this one. I wrote it for fun - I was in the mood to write something goofy (odd - odder than usual). The story does...
Forum: Prompts & Challenges 06-12-2008, 11:28 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 1,637
Posted By HanksBigShow
Thanks Queen of Wands for giving it a read. ...

Thanks Queen of Wands for giving it a read.

Yup, perhaps the story is a bit much. I came up with it for the prompt challenge and wrote it out in two hours. I wrote it for goofy fun. I had fun...
Forum: Prompts & Challenges 06-10-2008, 12:01 PM
Replies: 20
Views: 2,311
Posted By HanksBigShow
What a great writer you are, Devon. I'm...

What a great writer you are, Devon. I'm impressed. This is so well written I can offer no suggestions to improve it.
Forum: Prompts & Challenges 06-10-2008, 11:57 AM
Replies: 16
Views: 2,575
Posted By HanksBigShow
I liked this story. It is written in a...

I liked this story. It is written in a minimalist style so it gets extra points from me.

The use of dashes was mentioned, above. I tend to use them a lot, myself - probably to much.
Forum: Prompts & Challenges 06-10-2008, 10:57 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 1,637
Posted By HanksBigShow
Prompt #1 Sunlight

I just wrote this, this afternoon for the challenge - prompt. It could probably be longer. I hope people like it. It's kind of off the cuff.


Sunlight

Just beyond the edge of the woods,...
Forum: Fiction 06-09-2008, 08:22 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 1,352
Posted By HanksBigShow
I read it all and found it to be well written. A...

I read it all and found it to be well written. A couple of punctuation issues, as other's have mentioned, but the content was good. The dialog was interesting and real - without bogging down in...
Forum: Fiction 06-09-2008, 08:04 AM
Replies: 23
Views: 1,726
Posted By HanksBigShow
Thanks mrsj82. Glad you enjoyed it and thanks...

Thanks mrsj82. Glad you enjoyed it and thanks for commenting. Yes, it was written this way on purpose - though, admittedly, it is often how I write.
Forum: Fiction 06-07-2008, 07:02 PM
Replies: 19
Views: 1,628
Posted By HanksBigShow
I'm not sure you need such a detailed prologue,...

I'm not sure you need such a detailed prologue, then. If I might offer a suggestion: If none of the characters described in the prologue will later appear in the story, I would leave them out and...
Forum: Fiction 06-07-2008, 06:31 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 4,424
Posted By HanksBigShow
I agree with much of what ehoeveler said. ...

I agree with much of what ehoeveler said.

The story is not boring, but it is very difficult to follow. A story like this takes considerable planning. You have to ensure the reader understand...
Forum: Fiction 06-07-2008, 01:28 PM
Replies: 25
Views: 2,233
Posted By HanksBigShow
Thanks ehoeveler, W.K. Freely, DavidGil, and Jay ...

Thanks ehoeveler, W.K. Freely, DavidGil, and Jay W. Eccent for having a look and commenting.

Not sure I'll submit this story, anywhere. I haven't give much thought to paid publication, though I...
Forum: Fiction 06-05-2008, 09:49 PM
Replies: 23
Views: 1,726
Posted By HanksBigShow
Thanks Freely, glad you liked it. And thank...

Thanks Freely, glad you liked it.

And thank you Nemesis. Nice to hear you've enjoyed my writing. I'll have to post something new, very soon.
Forum: Fiction 06-03-2008, 06:09 AM
Replies: 23
Views: 1,726
Posted By HanksBigShow
Thanks Ehoeveler, I'll post something, soon. I'm...

Thanks Ehoeveler, I'll post something, soon. I'm off to Atlantic City for a couple days - I'll have something when I get back. Nice to hear you enjoyed it.

Hank
Forum: Fiction 06-01-2008, 08:33 PM
Replies: 23
Views: 1,726
Posted By HanksBigShow
It's the way I write. I try to say just enough...

It's the way I write. I try to say just enough and nothing more. Once it's reveled the machine is simply a child's toy, that wraps it up.



I enjoy writing stories out of sequence. To me,...
Forum: Fiction 06-01-2008, 01:06 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 1,185
Posted By HanksBigShow
This is pretty good. I find it depressing...

This is pretty good. I find it depressing though, having once lived in various places much like you describe. If pressed for a critical comment, I'd say, there is lots of telling the story, but not...
Forum: Fiction 06-01-2008, 12:49 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 819
Posted By HanksBigShow
I was impressed with the writing. Can't comment...

I was impressed with the writing. Can't comment on the direction the story is going - not enough there to say. For better presentation in a forum thread, add a space between paragraphs.
Forum: Scripts 05-31-2008, 08:43 AM
Replies: 28
Views: 4,196
Posted By HanksBigShow
You're welcome. Remember, if you do go with the...

You're welcome. Remember, if you do go with the quotation marks, you have to remove them if you write this in true, screenplay format. I'd only use them for forum thread posts - helps differentiate...
Forum: Scripts 05-31-2008, 05:21 AM
Replies: 28
Views: 4,196
Posted By HanksBigShow
Screenplays are fun to write. When I have a...

Screenplays are fun to write. When I have a story idea, I often write it in screenplay format. It is a quick and easy way to make an outline I can refer to later when I eventually write it out as a...
Forum: Fiction 05-31-2008, 04:32 AM
Replies: 23
Views: 1,726
Posted By HanksBigShow
I have decided to leave it as is, for now. The...

I have decided to leave it as is, for now. The "presently passing" bothers me, though I'm satisfied with the "I am here," part.
Showing results 1 to 25 of 53

 

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