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Forum: Poetry 04-11-2018, 12:06 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 434
Posted By TheCrookedPath
Oh yes! I love me some Kerouac. It takes a real...

Oh yes! I love me some Kerouac. It takes a real mastery to express a solid thought, emotion, and seen in so few words.

It's like watching modern choreography. It can be s Sharp, and beautiful,...
Forum: Poetry 04-02-2018, 10:44 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 434
Posted By TheCrookedPath
3 Haikus

The Walk Home
---
Past the darkened homes
I am not afraid of ghosts
but that I am one

Temper
---
I should knock that smile
off your rusty yellow vent
Forum: Poetry 03-26-2018, 01:09 AM
Replies: 25
Views: 988
Posted By TheCrookedPath
Foolish forum-dweller! I absorb your literary...

Foolish forum-dweller! I absorb your literary knowledge, and increase my own power!! BWAHAHAHA!

Seriously, though, I have to thank you for Ulysses. It's a fine thing, sifting through the forum...
Forum: Poetry 03-25-2018, 08:48 PM
Replies: 25
Views: 988
Posted By TheCrookedPath
This is very different from the rest of your work...

This is very different from the rest of your work that I've read!

Usually your language is so subtle and beautiful, that leaves feeling as though I'm in the verge of an epiphany; I enjoy it, but I...
Forum: Poetry 03-21-2018, 10:17 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 817
Posted By TheCrookedPath
Almost! I've been trying to get rid of the word...

Almost! I've been trying to get rid of the word "cranium" ... It's one of the things where... I dunno. It technically fits the syllable count and the Rhythm, but it still reads just... Well awful....
Forum: Poetry 03-20-2018, 11:55 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 328
Posted By TheCrookedPath
Street Corner Poetry

We're done with being vague and literal

Watch me now, I can write this like a pro
My closet is full of postmodern wigs
And I have been working hard on my form
Bent over keyboard, stand at...
Forum: Poetry 03-20-2018, 08:28 PM
Replies: 12
Views: 811
Posted By TheCrookedPath
Wow. Actual, literal toilet humor. I suppose it...

Wow. Actual, literal toilet humor. I suppose it was only a matter of time.

A layer of complexity and depth is added to this poem as the commenters affirm it.
Forum: Poetry 03-14-2018, 05:50 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 494
Posted By TheCrookedPath
(days later) There! I think that's improved...

(days later)

There! I think that's improved nicely. Thank you so much for your help, guys.
Forum: Poetry 03-06-2018, 09:00 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 325
Posted By TheCrookedPath
It probably has less to do with your writing,...

It probably has less to do with your writing, D13, and more to do with my reading. I'm notoriously bad at understanding metaphor.

I don't know if it's something I can learn, but I figure this is...
Forum: Poetry 03-06-2018, 03:56 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 213
Posted By TheCrookedPath
A truly great poet can expand the definition of...

A truly great poet can expand the definition of poetry for everyone. There's no such thing as a poet great enough that he can narrow it. Poetry can be brief, and it can be literal.

That having...
Forum: Poetry 03-05-2018, 08:57 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 266
Posted By TheCrookedPath
The sense of crushing loneliness and lack of...

The sense of crushing loneliness and lack of purpose is palpable. The true horror of it is that somewhere, there's a mushroom and garlic alfredo pizza that will die without having ever met its...
Forum: Poetry 03-05-2018, 08:49 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 491
Posted By TheCrookedPath
Daes: You hate the word "look"? Hate wasn't what...

Daes: You hate the word "look"? Hate wasn't what I was going for, but I suppose that it's a win if I can evoke any strong emotion. Personally, I reserve my hate for individually wrapped Twinkies,...
Forum: Poetry 03-02-2018, 01:12 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 249
Posted By TheCrookedPath
I get the double meaning, here. I appreciate...

I get the double meaning, here.

I appreciate both the sentiment and the structure.

I also enjoy the breakdown at the end. The first two lines read almost like a bullet point breakdown. It's...
Forum: Poetry 03-02-2018, 03:45 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 491
Posted By TheCrookedPath
The Girl with Purple Hair

Today

A Girl with Purple Hair
Crossed the street
And demanded to know why

I looked so sad.

Her hair
Newly dyed
Forum: Poetry 03-01-2018, 07:13 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 325
Posted By TheCrookedPath
You and Nick have certainly been knocking it...

You and Nick have certainly been knocking it right out of the park, lately, haven't you? I read the tagline for the post, and assumed it was tongue-in-cheek. A pleasant surprise, then, to see an...
Forum: Poetry 02-28-2018, 02:36 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 220
Posted By TheCrookedPath
Wow! Very clever and cute. It begs to be...

Wow! Very clever and cute. It begs to be Illustrated; it almost has a children's-book feel to it, doesn't it?

The rhythm starts to break down after the 20th line or so. If you start getting bogged...
Forum: Poetry 02-27-2018, 06:36 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 494
Posted By TheCrookedPath
After reading the majority of the poems on the...

After reading the majority of the poems on the last two tabs, I've stumbled on the irony of your suggestion that I should conform and fall in line by making sure that my poem does not.

Shane: I...
Forum: Poetry 02-24-2018, 02:33 AM
Replies: 35
Views: 2,824
Posted By TheCrookedPath
I can't imagine what more can be said about this...

I can't imagine what more can be said about this one after the outpouring, but it sure as hell deserves it.

Any one stanza of this would have been a brilliant poem.
Forum: Poetry 02-23-2018, 10:25 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 494
Posted By TheCrookedPath
Seaside Service

She wouldn’t return to the church where they’d wed
How practised the lines, how empty the plot
That day found us out at the ocean instead
She couldn’t abide being where he was not

We stopped on...
Forum: Poetry 04-13-2013, 11:00 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 405
Posted By TheCrookedPath
Earthbound Soul

I swear I saw her the other day
At one of the places I knew she’d haunt
Shining and weightless, there and gone
I spoke, but she didn’t seem to hear


I couldn’t touch her, anyway
Or hold my...
Forum: Previous Contests 04-01-2013, 06:31 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 4,640
Posted By TheCrookedPath
Thanks much to whoever voted for me! There were...

Thanks much to whoever voted for me! There were some great poems this time around.
Forum: Previous Contests 03-01-2013, 01:03 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 5,103
Posted By TheCrookedPath
Pretend It's Something Harder

It's just you and me tonight
Belly up and poor a double
Trussed up like a vodka tonic
Wishing still won't make it true

Shot of water, help a brother
Gonna keep my word tonight
Tell a lie my...
Forum: Poetry 12-22-2011, 11:36 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 854
Posted By TheCrookedPath
Thankyou! I'm in agreement...that looks better,...

Thankyou! I'm in agreement...that looks better, and it doesn't hurt the independence of the line. I've made the correction...it looks a bit more streamlined, now. :)
Forum: Poetry 12-21-2011, 08:09 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 854
Posted By TheCrookedPath
Thanks to you both for commenting! Nadja;...

Thanks to you both for commenting!

Nadja; I'm not certain where the best place to add "neither" might be. Were you thinking something like

"Vows with neither craft nor art"

Or am I...
Forum: Poetry 12-19-2011, 10:05 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 854
Posted By TheCrookedPath
Forever Tonight

Tonight the stars shall be a witness
Family in a sky of pews
The smiling moon officiates
This holiness tween me and you.

I’ll be your man, your thief of moments
Vows with neither craft nor...
Showing results 1 to 25 of 138

 

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