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Forum: Fiction 11-23-2015, 08:53 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 762
Posted By Cloverish
I realize the purpose it to be vague, but in...

I realize the purpose it to be vague, but in those parts are too vague. After reading on we can deduce what you meant but you have to realize at that moment, we are reading blind, and with little to...
Forum: Fiction 11-23-2015, 07:21 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 762
Posted By Cloverish
This is cute, for sure, and you have some pretty...

This is cute, for sure, and you have some pretty good descriptions here. The thing is, it's kinda bare... ya'know? Several times I got lost as to what happened and we just rode right on by without...
Forum: Fiction 11-21-2015, 08:55 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 533
Posted By Cloverish
OutCats- Short Story beginning

A ripped, torn, hanging by a thread banner just barely stayed connected across the door frame in the gentle breeze. Scrawled in an off-setting hippy orange paint, OutCats, titled the banner, which in...
Forum: Fiction 11-21-2015, 07:57 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 376
Posted By Cloverish
This is nice. The exchange between everyone is...

This is nice. The exchange between everyone is spot on and authentic. The MC voice rings clear in some sense. A shambled past brewing and in the midst of creation. Family sucks theme driftin'... I...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 08-21-2015, 06:47 AM
Replies: 23
Views: 1,961
Posted By Cloverish
Usually a plot can be good, but without the...

Usually a plot can be good, but without the correct vessel to carry it, I.e SPaG, it falls flat. It's like with a boat, you can have an amazing crew, but when put on a slab of wood and told to make...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 08-13-2015, 07:12 PM
Replies: 98
Views: 5,137
Posted By Cloverish
Ha, come on now, let's not fight over who is more...

Ha, come on now, let's not fight over who is more intelligent over here... Because that's basically what arguing/debating is all about. Who can make the better counter claim. Don't get me wrong, I'm...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 08-13-2015, 07:23 AM
Replies: 98
Views: 5,137
Posted By Cloverish
IQs... eh, naw, I ain't too big on that. I'm sure...

IQs... eh, naw, I ain't too big on that. I'm sure it's a terrific number though...

My little sister is a little genius, and she knows it. But then again... she sucks at much of anything outside of...
Forum: Tips & Advice 08-12-2015, 08:27 AM
Replies: 22
Views: 6,384
Posted By Cloverish
I don't really get the full of the question......

I don't really get the full of the question... Flat characters aren't exicting. Readers don't like flat characters. No one likes flat characters unless they are secandary, playing a minor personality...
Forum: Tips & Advice 08-12-2015, 06:33 AM
Replies: 10
Views: 2,486
Posted By Cloverish
I don't really believe in that whole 'let the...

I don't really believe in that whole 'let the characters write themselves'. I just can't believe it because... Well, they certainly aren't the ones investing hours into a project.

Anyway, I map...
Forum: Fiction 08-01-2015, 06:31 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 840
Posted By Cloverish
Deadlock -Short Story

It's different for me. Is it interesting? Does it tell a story? Is there too much telling and not enough story?


Whoever claimed moving to a forest was magical never stayed out past dark. There...
Forum: Fiction 08-01-2015, 06:13 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 667
Posted By Cloverish
I really liked this. Like completely. I was...

I really liked this. Like completely. I was like... she's dead! Booker is like some holy guardian, like a hell hound leading her to safety or something. Nicely written, well done.

A few things...
Forum: Fiction 08-01-2015, 05:56 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 480
Posted By Cloverish
That was pretty funny. Even your mistakes didn't...

That was pretty funny. Even your mistakes didn't distract me that much.

SOme mistakes: Damn, why can nobody just sit around and --- really awkward. Damn, why can't people just...

As...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 04-22-2015, 03:00 PM
Replies: 49
Views: 2,238
Posted By Cloverish
Why should we avoid sad endings? I mean, if you...

Why should we avoid sad endings? I mean, if you pose a question there should be a reason behind it, don't you think?

Anyway, a sad ending could mean countless things. The MC surviving makes a...
Forum: Fiction 04-20-2015, 01:31 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 497
Posted By Cloverish
Lost Floor

So it's been a while since I've been here, but I'm back. Here's a little horror. I'm still practicing with the genre, but I don't think I'm that bad with it. It came to me as I was running.


Some...
Forum: Fiction 04-20-2015, 01:11 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 576
Posted By Cloverish
So, you say no theme or story... and I see that,...

So, you say no theme or story... and I see that, which makes it a harder read. First, there isn't a main character, at least not one named. TO me he's like a child, like ten or something, but with...
Forum: Fiction 04-20-2015, 01:02 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 529
Posted By Cloverish
I don't really understand the title. Carebear?...

I don't really understand the title. Carebear? Why?

Anyway, I liked it. His tension, then joy of finishing. I thought it was nice. I would prefer more background, but you do well keeping it...
Forum: Fiction 10-28-2014, 04:27 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 748
Posted By Cloverish
I don't know if those responses were a good or...

I don't know if those responses were a good or not... Fort Leonard wood all the way! Alpha co 1-48
Forum: Fiction 10-27-2014, 04:57 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 748
Posted By Cloverish
Haha meant honey dew! It's a color. Well......

Haha meant honey dew! It's a color.

Well... I had trouble with that phrase. I wanted the reader to know they were ancient, well-known paintings. Idk if I portrayed it well.

I'll try to fix that...
Forum: Fiction 10-26-2014, 06:15 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 748
Posted By Cloverish
Dying for Death

Just finished basic training and this is the story that emerges. It's written on my phone so don't expect perfection.


Fear does not come from death itself, but the act of dying instead. Death is...
Forum: Tips & Advice 07-04-2014, 08:54 AM
Replies: 29
Views: 4,692
Posted By Cloverish
Usually that 1-4k stuff. Um... if I'm not feeling...

Usually that 1-4k stuff. Um... if I'm not feeling it I still wrestle words on a page. I get something done, no matter how small. I can usually fly through the first ten-twenty pages before I lose...
Forum: Fiction 07-02-2014, 05:51 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 296
Posted By Cloverish
A Friend

It was only a grin. A big toothy grin. I wanted a little fluffy friend, and he just assumed I wanted to eat him. I'm not that kind of wolf. Not that kind of animal. Really, I'm only a pup.

...
Forum: Non-Fiction 06-30-2014, 10:17 PM
Replies: 22
Views: 2,319
Posted By Cloverish
That sucks, the whole cancer thing, but at least...

That sucks, the whole cancer thing, but at least you learned a thing or two from it. Really. I was scared reading your piece. I have this little, pop out dot right below my chest... what could it...
Forum: Fiction 06-26-2014, 02:53 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 586
Posted By Cloverish
Your dialogue is all messed up: "Hey,...

Your dialogue is all messed up:
"Hey, Cloverish," you say - do you see that? The comma is inside the quotation mark.

a hand claws at my blue dress gripping the back of it tightly and knocking...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 06-26-2014, 02:15 PM
Replies: 179
Views: 7,526
Posted By Cloverish
My 18th... I guess it could be considered...

My 18th... I guess it could be considered chapter, of my WIP. Finished it actually. It's what I've been posting up
Forum: Poetry 06-25-2014, 06:24 PM
Replies: 30
Views: 1,301
Posted By Cloverish
I thought it was nice. Simple and sweet. I, on...

I thought it was nice. Simple and sweet. I, on the other hand, sleep with three blankets year around, no matter if we have reached 108 outside.
Showing results 1 to 25 of 406

 

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