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Search: Posts Made By: Jynx76
Forum: Fiction 06-18-2015, 05:45 AM
Replies: 22
Views: 1,282
Posted By Jynx76
Max... In response to the following...

Max...

In response to the following questions (I know it's a bit late, and you mentioned you've already been re-working the piece as sci-fi instead, but for what it's worth...)

the small cheap...
Forum: Non-Fiction 06-17-2015, 08:45 AM
Replies: 0
Views: 736
Posted By Jynx76
Riding... (approx 1000 words)

Ah, WB...how I have missed thee...

Anyhoo...I put this together to submit to a call for stories from women riders, and am hoping you fine folks would be willing to give your honest feedback. Rest...
Forum: Fiction 10-26-2014, 05:32 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 572
Posted By Jynx76
The shifting viewpoint made for an interesting...

The shifting viewpoint made for an interesting read. Like Max, I was looking for a link back to the opening sequence, but it's not necessary for the story to work, as it works well as is.
Forum: Board Games 08-31-2014, 06:37 PM
Replies: 736
Views: 36,397
Posted By Jynx76
Camaro - Kings of Leon What's the best job...

Camaro - Kings of Leon

What's the best job to have?
Forum: Fiction 08-31-2014, 06:29 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 1,172
Posted By Jynx76
Quite beautifully written, Lucidity. You had me...

Quite beautifully written, Lucidity. You had me hooked with the line about a poodle baring his teeth at wolves, and just kept delivering throughout the entire piece. There are so many lines in this...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 08-31-2014, 06:06 PM
Replies: 38
Views: 2,278
Posted By Jynx76
Gandalf the Grey?

Gandalf the Grey?
Forum: Fiction 08-31-2014, 06:01 PM
Replies: 13
Views: 1,349
Posted By Jynx76
Thanks for taking the time to read it Monserat. ...

Thanks for taking the time to read it Monserat. I'll go through a trim a little fat, keeping in mind all your suggestions (and others').

Your kind words are also much appreciated :)
Forum: Fiction 08-31-2014, 05:54 PM
Replies: 24
Views: 2,729
Posted By Jynx76
JMummey, have you ever read any John Sandford...

JMummey, have you ever read any John Sandford novels? If not, they may help with your dialogue/narration concerns. I suggest him because he also writes crime fiction (his Prey series in...
Forum: Fiction 08-31-2014, 05:43 PM
Replies: 24
Views: 1,452
Posted By Jynx76
A very enjoyable piece, BeginnerWriter :) The...

A very enjoyable piece, BeginnerWriter :) The main character is not the "average" thief, and you capture the dilemma of the hungry well, without making it cliche.

I agree with Elisa/win about the...
Forum: Non-Fiction 08-31-2014, 05:18 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 2,031
Posted By Jynx76
I drive past the WMP nearly every day, and used...

I drive past the WMP nearly every day, and used to teach in Tosa. Nice to meet someone out here from my neck of the woods (though I also recently discovered that Nick Pierce also hails from this...
Forum: Introductions 08-31-2014, 05:14 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 891
Posted By Jynx76
Oh Nick, this explains so much... I live in...

Oh Nick, this explains so much...

I live in Milwaukee, but spent ten years across the pond in MI, so you best answer the question about location, Allison :) I was a denizen of the Grand Haven...
Forum: Fiction 08-25-2014, 05:21 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 596
Posted By Jynx76
The opening imagery definitely hooks the reader...

The opening imagery definitely hooks the reader and works to create some very nice foreshadowing that you return to in the final lines of this segment. The style is engaging and...
Forum: Fiction 08-25-2014, 05:14 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 749
Posted By Jynx76
Yup. Sorry to have missed it on my first read...

Yup. Sorry to have missed it on my first read...
Forum: Non-Fiction 08-25-2014, 05:04 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 2,031
Posted By Jynx76
It is, in fact! It's so nice to run into someone...

It is, in fact! It's so nice to run into someone who actually knows of it :)
Where nearby were you born, if I may ask?
I left the state for a while back in the 90s, and have since returned.
...
Forum: Introductions 08-21-2014, 02:37 PM
Replies: 3
Hi
Views: 427
Posted By Jynx76
Wait...you mean there are people here who aren't...

Wait...you mean there are people here who aren't awkward? Crap. I may have to re-think this a bit...

Welcome, FH - you'll fit right in :)
Forum: Fiction 08-20-2014, 07:41 AM
Replies: 33
Views: 1,668
Posted By Jynx76
I'm liking the revisions, Fail. As MichaelD...

I'm liking the revisions, Fail. As MichaelD mentioned, a new screen name may be in order ;)

In the opening paragraph - not only have you addressed the issue of repetition, but you've made events...
Forum: Board Games 08-20-2014, 07:17 AM
Replies: 736
Views: 36,397
Posted By Jynx76
It's all In Hiding (Pearl Jam) Which are the...

It's all In Hiding (Pearl Jam)

Which are the best video games to play?
Forum: Fiction 08-19-2014, 05:46 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 749
Posted By Jynx76
It looks like you've made some revisions here,...

It looks like you've made some revisions here, BearMtns...nice work. The paragraphs flow one one to the next, and the action is clear throughout, even though the POV alternates.

I was a bit...
Forum: Fiction 08-19-2014, 05:34 AM
Replies: 33
Views: 1,668
Posted By Jynx76
Watch the repetition of "death" here. "Mercy,...

Watch the repetition of "death" here.
"Mercy, death had blessed those around me with release..." I'm not quite sure what you're saying here. Is it a mercy that death spared the others by killing...
Forum: Free Writing 08-19-2014, 04:43 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 1,020
Posted By Jynx76
The parallel imagery helps clear up the...

The parallel imagery helps clear up the connection between the opening scene (with the leeches and vultures) and the MC nicely.

Why do you use rhyming in the opening paragraph, but not...
Forum: Poetry 08-19-2014, 04:30 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 562
Posted By Jynx76
Hahaha. Nice twist. I was waiting for the other...

Hahaha. Nice twist. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop :)

Way to make a mountain lion attack sexy as hell.
Forum: Board Games 08-16-2014, 06:23 PM
Replies: 736
Views: 36,397
Posted By Jynx76
Thrift Shop (Macklemore) What's the most...

Thrift Shop (Macklemore)

What's the most important aspect of a room?
Forum: Board Games 08-16-2014, 01:36 PM
Replies: 736
Views: 36,397
Posted By Jynx76
Shout (Isley Brothers) Why not just buy a...

Shout (Isley Brothers)

Why not just buy a new rug?
Forum: Fiction 08-16-2014, 01:25 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 754
Posted By Jynx76
Always an entertaining read, Nick. You never...

Always an entertaining read, Nick. You never disappoint :)
Forum: Fiction 08-15-2014, 11:06 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 1,660
Posted By Jynx76
Definitely a gripping piece. You had me right up...

Definitely a gripping piece. You had me right up until the end :)


Great line - especially when one considers the connotations associated with Detroit. This helps solidify the man's character....
Showing results 1 to 25 of 125

 

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