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Search: Posts Made By: That Kid Lee
Forum: Fiction 07-26-2010, 08:34 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 874
Posted By That Kid Lee
thank you all for reading everything over. I'll...

thank you all for reading everything over. I'll make edits asap
Forum: Fiction 07-26-2010, 02:56 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 874
Posted By That Kid Lee
Cloak of Flame

Cloak of Flame

Illuminating the festive crowd below, roses of flame and light bloomed in the obsidian sky. The roses’ roars reverberated off the stone buildings of Stryeake’s capital. As men and...
Forum: Poetry 04-06-2010, 08:40 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 527
Posted By That Kid Lee
Ouch, oh those scathing remarks hurt. ouch. they...

Ouch, oh those scathing remarks hurt. ouch. they penetrated straight to the heart. oh...

but thanks for them. At last someone can see where I need to improve. But let's just clear this one thing...
Forum: Poetry 04-05-2010, 03:19 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 527
Posted By That Kid Lee
The torch

A blazing solstice,
Ignites the dormant flame.
We triumphantly flare,
Into festive being.

A fiery fall,
Burns prouder than ever
The inferno drives us,
Dancing to the max.
Forum: Nine and Sixty Ways – Poetry Tools and Lessons 04-04-2010, 05:38 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 6,134
Posted By That Kid Lee
The torch

A blazing solstice,
Ignites the dormant flame.
We triumphantly flare,
Into festive being.

A fiery fall,
Burns prouder than ever
The inferno drives us,
Dancing to the max.
Forum: Fiction 03-08-2010, 08:15 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 573
Posted By That Kid Lee
Hey Urntme. Thanks for looking this over. ...

Hey Urntme.

Thanks for looking this over.

Yeah, this is just musings about the sky, but i had hoped for it to be something deeper. I hoped that the symbolism of the heavens being the war-torn...
Forum: Poetry 03-08-2010, 09:17 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 576
Posted By That Kid Lee
great suggestions singphantom7, but what i...

great suggestions singphantom7, but what i reasoned was that a broken mirror would have more pieces than just 200 hundred.
I see your point in leaving out a light ending, but then the original...
Forum: Fiction 03-08-2010, 12:42 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 709
Posted By That Kid Lee
as Redlorry said, the description is brilliant. I...

as Redlorry said, the description is brilliant. I quite enjoyed the part where the runner contemplates the joys of a dolphin or the joy of flying for a crow. That part got my heart beating *thump...
Forum: Poetry 03-08-2010, 12:32 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 576
Posted By That Kid Lee
Amazing poem. Personally, i enjoyed how you used...

Amazing poem. Personally, i enjoyed how you used the repetition of "look at yourself in the mirror"
Although this poem is terrific and full of symbolism, there are still things to perhaps consider,...
Forum: Fiction 03-08-2010, 12:12 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 573
Posted By That Kid Lee
A Morpho’s Reverie

A flash of sky, then dust clouds rolled over.
Another flash, just as vibrant as the last, and again smothered by the opaque clouds.
Slowly, ever so slowly, the clouds shifted, gazing at the...
Forum: Free Writing 12-31-2009, 01:32 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 760
Posted By That Kid Lee
Snowboarding

Speed. The cool air in my lungs. The sensation of soaring. All that courses through me as I guide my snowboard with practiced precision.

Cruising down the pristine slope, I bathe in the pure...
Forum: Fiction 12-28-2009, 09:58 PM
Replies: 18
Views: 1,658
Posted By That Kid Lee
I enjoyed the twist ending. I actually didn't...

I enjoyed the twist ending. I actually didn't expect that.

You did a great job on this piece. Just a few chinks to work out

In the 5th paragraph, the second sentence is far too long. Use some...
Forum: Poetry 12-14-2009, 09:42 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 1,264
Posted By That Kid Lee
i see, well, your point was extremely well...

i see, well, your point was extremely well thought out, and i agree with your view. Great job again!
Forum: Poetry 12-12-2009, 11:19 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 1,061
Posted By That Kid Lee
Thanks for your explaination, Paige. Yeah,...

Thanks for your explaination, Paige.
Yeah, there are so many stories and rumours about atrocities being commited to children in the news. One would wonder what could drive the parents into...
Forum: Poetry 12-12-2009, 11:07 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 965
Posted By That Kid Lee
the imagery here is quite nice. personally, this...

the imagery here is quite nice. personally, this reminds me of Dustfinger from the Inkheart series who could perform wonders with fire.
Perhaps add a stanza about all the miracles the fire twirler...
Forum: Poetry 12-12-2009, 10:51 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 1,264
Posted By That Kid Lee
Such an amazing poem about such an ordinary...

Such an amazing poem about such an ordinary structure! You've done an awesome job.
Just a simple suggestion, perhaps add that a gate is the most coveted part of a walled city, as both attackers and...
Forum: Free Writing 12-04-2009, 09:09 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 810
Posted By That Kid Lee
thanks for your suggestions. I'll make the...

thanks for your suggestions. I'll make the changes now.
Forum: Poetry 12-04-2009, 09:08 PM
Replies: 14
Views: 1,371
Posted By That Kid Lee
I believe that the ending is great. It gives a...

I believe that the ending is great. It gives a sense of ambiguity and symbolizes the fact that the choice can go either way. That shows that the poet is free to choose is own path. I also like the...
Forum: Poetry 11-19-2009, 08:57 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 834
Posted By That Kid Lee
Though We Will Stride Through Hell

Though We Will Stride Through Hell

Though we will stride through Hell, past the bleak gate,
To a dark, dark river where damned souls await,
Our strength won’t wane, nor will we shed a tear. ...
Forum: Free Writing 11-15-2009, 08:48 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 810
Posted By That Kid Lee
A Watery Victory

“Swimmers, take your marks.”
“This is it!” I thought to myself as my entire body surged with restrained energy.
As I tensed my body for a massive dive into the water,...
Forum: Introductions 11-04-2009, 10:57 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 496
Posted By That Kid Lee
Welcome to Writer's Beat Manga53. I'm a newbie...

Welcome to Writer's Beat Manga53.
I'm a newbie too, but trust me, the guys here at writers beat are all gracious and extremely great editors. Just don't be afraid to post your work

Have fun!...
Forum: Poetry 11-03-2009, 09:01 PM
Replies: 18
Views: 1,538
Posted By That Kid Lee
Thanks everyone. I hope the newly edited version...

Thanks everyone. I hope the newly edited version satisfies everyone's edits.
Forum: Poetry 11-02-2009, 07:57 PM
Replies: 18
Views: 1,538
Posted By That Kid Lee
OMG thank you everyone for your suggestions. I...

OMG thank you everyone for your suggestions. I certainly will take them into consideration, and take the best of all three worlds from Wisp, Ilseum and R.C. The edits will come at a later date, but...
Forum: Free Writing 11-01-2009, 09:18 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 783
Posted By That Kid Lee
What do you mean by "purple?" Does that mean too...

What do you mean by "purple?" Does that mean too flamboyant?
Forum: Poetry 11-01-2009, 08:06 PM
Replies: 18
Views: 1,538
Posted By That Kid Lee
Nah, not too picky at all! Your criticism is...

Nah, not too picky at all! Your criticism is perfect! Thanks!
I'll change it once i have time... i have to do homework now. Lol
Showing results 1 to 25 of 41

 

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