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Forum: Fiction 01-14-2017, 06:57 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 1,126
Posted By tobephoto
Space Chapter 1 WC-1428

Space

Chapter 1
Milikos Drift


I stared into Keo's eyes, so crystal clear that I saw tiny blood vessels spreading out like spider legs, but no blood pumped through them. Frozen in brilliant...
Forum: Fiction 01-01-2017, 08:38 AM
Replies: 0
Views: 1,005
Posted By tobephoto
Bleamy's Corner Chapter 1 WC-891

Bleamy's Corner

Chapter 1

Cold Beginnings
Happiness is hard to hold on to.


Baldrich Bleamy, my father, lay bedridden with typhus. The weather was horribly cold this November, 1802, a...
Forum: Fiction 11-20-2016, 06:10 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 1,398
Posted By tobephoto
Chapter 1 Bleamy's Corner wc-887

Bleamy's Corner


Chapter 1

Cold Beginnings
Happiness is hard to hold on to.


Baldrich Bleamy, my father, was bedridden with typhus the week before my eleventh birthday. It was the end...
Forum: Fiction 12-26-2015, 05:35 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 722
Posted By tobephoto
Desert

Desert

Chapter 1
Sweat

If it weren't for being tied to his saddle, Marion would have fallen off Phoebe hours ago.

When he started this trek, three days ago, the sun was barely a thought...
Forum: Fiction 01-25-2015, 06:32 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 551
Posted By tobephoto
Sandbar

Chapter 1
August 1735


I lie with my face in the sand because it is the only place to hide from the sun. My new world is a sandbar no bigger than the ship that marooned me here two days gone....
Forum: Fiction 08-21-2013, 01:07 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 514
Posted By tobephoto
Sandbar...Chapter 1

Sandbar
Chapter 1




I lie with my face in the sand, it is the only place to hide from the sun. My new world is a sandbar no bigger than the ship that marooned me here two days gone. I am...
Forum: Fiction 05-01-2013, 06:52 AM
Replies: 0
Views: 485
Posted By tobephoto
Short Horror..From My Covers Creep

From My Covers Creep
Forum: Fiction 04-21-2013, 09:18 AM
Replies: 0
Views: 521
Posted By tobephoto
Che Che Poing.......... Chapter 1

Che Che Poing
Chapter 1
Her family tree was a stump
Forum: Fiction 04-13-2013, 09:58 AM
Replies: 0
Views: 414
Posted By tobephoto
Hunted-Chapter 1

Hunted
Chapter 1
London 1715
As the wind has one character and the rain another, it is the fog that shrouds them both in mystery.
Forum: Fiction 04-02-2013, 09:48 AM
Replies: 0
Views: 644
Posted By tobephoto
Forum: Fiction 04-01-2013, 08:40 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 1,099
Posted By tobephoto
The Great Turbulance and Malcontnet of Brimley Tinderbuss

I have an agent interested in the synopsis and first three chapters. Any critiquing and or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.


The Great Turbulence and Malcontent of Brimley Tinderbuss...
Forum: Fiction 02-17-2013, 03:22 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 469
Posted By tobephoto
Forum: Fiction 03-17-2012, 06:58 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 548
Posted By tobephoto
Sabertooth Chapter 1

Chapter 1
Nothing stirred that was not rooted in earth. The dried grass with its familiar rustle moved only when swept by the hot winds rushing down the barren hills.

His eyes dry and crusted...
Forum: Fiction 01-24-2010, 02:39 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 1,089
Posted By tobephoto
Can't Name

My first time here or showing this new work to anyone. You will see why i did not put the title to it.


Nothing stirred that was not rooted in earth. The dried grass with their familiar rustle...
Forum: Fiction 01-24-2010, 02:34 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 878
Posted By tobephoto
review

I would start at the second paragraph.
Forum: Fiction 01-24-2010, 02:30 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 879
Posted By tobephoto
nice

I agree needs no changing. I was offstruck by the title though. I would omit little, as aren't all toys little in the context of soilders?
Forum: Fiction 01-24-2010, 02:27 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 2,007
Posted By tobephoto
review

John was a tall man with scruffy, unkempt black hair full of dust, his ragged clothes were torn and ruined, the original colours no longer recognisable under the pieces of small debris that covered...
Forum: Fiction 01-24-2010, 02:10 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 953
Posted By tobephoto
review

More character development. Make us see the charters. It will make the story more compeling.
Forum: Introductions 01-24-2010, 02:05 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 564
Posted By tobephoto
Welcome

What do you write??
Forum: Introductions 01-24-2010, 02:03 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 480
Posted By tobephoto
Hello

First time here. i just finished one book and looking for an agent. Working on six more and joined here to see what other are up to.
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