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Search: Posts Made By: sjco
Forum: Poetry 08-12-2009, 02:37 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 1,856
Posted By sjco
I reread this several times to try and catch all...

I reread this several times to try and catch all the nuances. I really enjoyed it and I wasn't too concerned with your punctuation. I would say you might want to try changing the capitalization of...
Forum: Poetry 08-11-2009, 04:04 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 804
Posted By sjco
I made a couple of changes. Some the same, some...

I made a couple of changes. Some the same, some different than the above post. I really liked this poem. It reminded me of a twisted, dark Alice in Wonderland when she's falling down the rabbit...
Forum: Poetry 08-05-2009, 07:00 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 810
Posted By sjco
Future Love

I donít want this nasty piece of flesh
this emotionally wrapped piece of trash
I donít want no disease ridden Earthly boy
whoís into that grimy gangsta swag
I want a hypnotic robotic galactic...
Forum: Poetry 08-02-2009, 11:49 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 514
Posted By sjco
I really liked how you created vivid imagery...

I really liked how you created vivid imagery while keeping it very direct. I think in the ATM stanza, purr violently is kind of an oxymoron though. Maybe purr 'maliciously' or 'frequently' would be...
Forum: Introductions 08-02-2009, 02:41 PM
Replies: 3
Hi
Views: 458
Posted By sjco
Hi

Hey,

I'm a senior in college and have recently rediscovered my love to write. Since I've been focused on school work and research papers for the past couple of years I haven't had a chance to...
Forum: Poetry 08-01-2009, 09:46 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 1,005
Posted By sjco
I had trouble with the fourth stanza because of...

I had trouble with the fourth stanza because of the tenses. I think it would flow better with a present participle. There are a couple different ways to incorporate that such as:

The...
Forum: Poetry 07-31-2009, 09:44 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 1,369
Posted By sjco
This was such a fun poem to read. It flows very...

This was such a fun poem to read. It flows very nicely and is extremely creative.
Forum: Poetry 07-31-2009, 09:40 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 597
Posted By sjco
I'm not quite sure what the deeper meaning is...

I'm not quite sure what the deeper meaning is either but I do enjoy some of the lines. I especially like the last one. Also, you should never belittle your own work. It absolutely is creative...
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