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Search: Posts Made By: Alan Stange
Forum: Fiction 08-23-2018, 05:26 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 285
Posted By Alan Stange
daes13: Catching the weaknesses

Thanks you your advice. This is a first draft. I have two different projects going at the moment, both are not my conventional style of writing. Thought experiments? One is in present tense, I don't...
Forum: Fiction 08-21-2018, 04:12 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 285
Posted By Alan Stange
A Lenten Feast 3

PETER COLLINS


Morley moved the cleanup to the ground floor. Father Aiden needs this space spick and span you filthy animals. Then as if he had full confidence in them, the old man...
Forum: Fiction 08-19-2018, 06:16 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 334
Posted By Alan Stange
A Lenten Feast 2

DAVID JONES


Peter was hiding under his blanket. Torch light leaked out offering the only warmth to the frozen space. David lay on his own uncomfortable mattress think the muddle through....
Forum: Fiction 08-13-2018, 11:00 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 407
Posted By Alan Stange
Yes, I can see that. I was needing to leave some...

Yes, I can see that. I was needing to leave some mystery about Peter's background, wishing it unfold at a later point. Something to consider in rewrites. I'm at 21,000 words of the story at this...
Forum: Fiction 08-13-2018, 09:45 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 407
Posted By Alan Stange
A Lenten Feast

A Lenten Feast (Working Title)

A cliche movie for the 1950s



PETER COLLINS


It was open warfare amongst the Year 8 boys. Peter knew here had to be casualties. Most of Peters...
Forum: Fiction 04-04-2017, 08:14 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 1,180
Posted By Alan Stange
I'm pretty slow. Add to that, I write mostly on...

I'm pretty slow. Add to that, I write mostly on an iPad these days.
Forum: Fiction 03-25-2017, 08:32 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 1,180
Posted By Alan Stange
Phenix Part 3: Bih

Defiant was dozing in the rough bower her males had created for her. Her current discomfort was the price she paid for being only fourteen. Maker and Thinker were the only competent males in her...
Forum: The Notice Board 01-15-2017, 08:15 AM
Replies: 46
Views: 20,697
Posted By Alan Stange
I'm noticing that images are not loading in...

I'm noticing that images are not loading in either Chrome of Explorer.
Forum: Fiction 01-07-2017, 07:09 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 1,830
Posted By Alan Stange
Phenix Part 1: Kali and Shiva

This continues the story from my previous post. Excuse any formatting mistakes generated in the copy and paste.

Two colonists and a Yuk girl got lost in the woods. The Yuk said, Don't worry....
Forum: Fiction 12-11-2016, 06:03 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 1,269
Posted By Alan Stange
I should be able to delete a reply! I'm still...

I should be able to delete a reply! I'm still learning the system here.
Forum: Fiction 12-11-2016, 06:01 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 1,269
Posted By Alan Stange
Eighteen year old

I live in fear of overusing names and personal pronouns I guess. I try to switch them up as much as I can. The point is a good one.
Forum: Fiction 12-11-2016, 06:00 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 1,269
Posted By Alan Stange
eighteen year old

I live in fear of overusing names and personal pronouns I guess. I try to switch them up as much as I can. The point is a good one.
Forum: Fiction 12-10-2016, 06:29 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 1,269
Posted By Alan Stange
Phenix Part 1: Predator

The first draft of chapter one is finished. It runs to 19 pages. Tell me what you think please.

Joshua crouched on the massive deadfall and scanned the open forest floor. After seven months, the...
Forum: Fiction 11-26-2016, 07:00 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 876
Posted By Alan Stange
Spinner on Kindle

My science fiction novel Spinner (https://www.amazon.ca/Spinner-Alan-Stange-ebook/dp/B01N54EZ3J/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1480175955&sr=8-1-fkmr0&keywords=spinner+kindle+amazon.ca) is actually on...
Forum: Fiction 11-20-2016, 02:07 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 843
Posted By Alan Stange
Despite my best intentions... redundancies of...

Despite my best intentions... redundancies of language creep in. Thanks for responding.
Forum: Fiction 11-20-2016, 09:53 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 843
Posted By Alan Stange
Phenix

I'm starting a new science fiction story. This is how it starts...

Joshua crouched on the massive deadfall and scanned the open forest floor. The familiar scent of decay from the forest floor no...
Forum: Fiction 11-11-2016, 04:30 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 731
Posted By Alan Stange
Very lyrical at times. You drew me in after the...

Very lyrical at times. You drew me in after the initial exposition.
Forum: Fiction 11-10-2016, 12:34 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 877
Posted By Alan Stange
Shift has a nice beginning. What I appreciate is...

Shift has a nice beginning. What I appreciate is the gradual unfolding of meaning in the story. Evan's circumstances out in the dark are not explicitly stated in an exposition. I like that. I can be...
Forum: Fiction 11-10-2016, 10:30 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 876
Posted By Alan Stange
Spinner Part 1

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B0umh2NfvtC-Z3gwek0tLTZMYzA/view?usp=sharing

This is the first part of my science fiction novel, Spinner

Six year old Brandon finds an extraterrestrial artefact...
Forum: Fiction 07-03-2013, 09:36 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 497
Posted By Alan Stange
Spinner 2 (Brandon at 7)

Seven

The two coyote pups had travelled thirty miles through the rolling hills after abandoning their dead mother beside the derelict combine. They had looked on helplessly as she shivered and...
Forum: Fiction 07-03-2013, 05:57 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 556
Posted By Alan Stange
It will be interesting where you take it from...

It will be interesting where you take it from here.
Forum: Fiction 07-03-2013, 05:30 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 943
Posted By Alan Stange
Rather gruesome, but just the sort of tale my...

Rather gruesome, but just the sort of tale my fourth graders would love to read. Do you remember Jim Henson's storyteller series? It was about European folk tales. I pointed out to my students that...
Forum: Fiction 07-02-2013, 07:54 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 896
Posted By Alan Stange
Zachariah's Journey 1

Chapter One

Vancouver, British Columbia

Jody

"Hello Jody"

"Hey sunshine" Jody smiled at the boy as he moved past her nurse's station. She noted that the boy's presence meant that it must...
Forum: Fiction 07-02-2013, 04:16 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 556
Posted By Alan Stange
This chapter pushes quickly through the critical...

This chapter pushes quickly through the critical background of Borgan imperialism. I would encourage you to enjoy building your alien culture. What are they like? Is your universe like the Star Trek...
Forum: Fiction 07-02-2013, 04:01 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 490
Posted By Alan Stange
I feel like you have introduced an important...

I feel like you have introduced an important character. The conversation in the White House seems unnecessary background unless there is going to be international tension later in the story. Given...
Showing results 1 to 25 of 49

 

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