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Forum: Introductions 04-06-2007, 11:42 AM
Replies: 118
Views: 7,080
Posted By kellykat60409
mine isn't working either i keep getting the link...

mine isn't working either i keep getting the link to install it but when i do nothing happens
Forum: Fiction 04-05-2007, 08:41 AM
Replies: 17
Views: 1,254
Posted By kellykat60409
i think it is good i do think it would sound...

i think it is good i do think it would sound better if you add something else in like he gets out on early parole and the problems he has and maybe have him comfromt the guy who acually kille Irene
Forum: Fiction 04-05-2007, 08:25 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 1,047
Posted By kellykat60409
can't wait to read more. one thing i saw and this...

can't wait to read more. one thing i saw and this is my opionion.



it might sound better if you put something like; After three rings Irene's dad answered.
Forum: Writing Help & Issues 03-28-2007, 09:54 PM
Replies: 14
Views: 1,706
Posted By kellykat60409
my thought is you can have him pawn something...

my thought is you can have him pawn something very dear to his mother. And then have her find out he has been pawning her stuff to get high, and that is the reason for the accident he had at work.
Forum: Fiction 03-27-2007, 08:33 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 1,244
Posted By kellykat60409
good story, but I wish it was longer. I am...

good story, but I wish it was longer. I am intrigued at what those things are and why they are here. The way you stated the detail made me feel as if I was there with him and it almost made me afriad...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 03-26-2007, 10:21 AM
Replies: 17
Views: 1,328
Posted By kellykat60409
Chicago does Daylight savings time and they did...

Chicago does Daylight savings time and they did it early this year. It was a couple weeks ago and I am still ajusting to the time. Plus with me I have to be up at five in the morning to be at school...
Forum: Non-Fiction 03-26-2007, 10:17 AM
Replies: 21
Views: 1,869
Posted By kellykat60409
when I was in grade school, my mom said my...

when I was in grade school, my mom said my teachers wanted me to see a doctor to put me and my brother on ritalin, but my mother refused. We weren't hyper we just didn't follow directions and didnt'...
Forum: Fiction 03-26-2007, 10:08 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 1,226
Posted By kellykat60409
good story. the only thing I think can use some...

good story. the only thing I think can use some improving is you are reapeating the word reader alot, which can be a turn off. other, than that I think you have a good start here, and I want to know...
Forum: Fiction 03-26-2007, 07:46 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 791
Posted By kellykat60409
You have a good beggining to this story. the only...

You have a good beggining to this story. the only thing i will advise you on (this is something that was told to me since i am writing a story of witchcarft. is to stay as far away from the hp books)...
Forum: Fiction 03-24-2007, 12:47 PM
Replies: 12
Views: 1,097
Posted By kellykat60409
I like this piece and do hope you add more to it....

I like this piece and do hope you add more to it. Fantasy really isn't my thing, but I am trying to get into it more.
Forum: Fiction 03-24-2007, 12:08 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 899
Posted By kellykat60409
that is the beauty of writing, if you are stuck...

that is the beauty of writing, if you are stuck on something keep it the way you have it, then every couple of days go back and look and it will come to you. Its when you put to much stress on...
Forum: Fiction 03-24-2007, 11:54 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 633
Posted By kellykat60409
what might work for you is try having this part...

what might work for you is try having this part as a beggining to chapter 1, andmake a prolog of a city under attack how there is pain and suffering.
Forum: Writers' Cafe 03-23-2007, 10:33 AM
Replies: 14
Views: 1,283
Posted By kellykat60409
also Hackers are more prone to windows becuase...

also Hackers are more prone to windows becuase around 90% of computers users use windows so hackers will have acess to more computers than mac or linux.

i will agree with you about ms. As of right...
Forum: Fiction 03-20-2007, 01:03 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 1,126
Posted By kellykat60409
what a twist at the end. I wasn't thinking about...

what a twist at the end. I wasn't thinking about that just about some manic finding ways to kill people. Great story
Forum: Fiction 03-20-2007, 12:57 PM
Replies: 16
Views: 2,434
Posted By kellykat60409
I can see why you won for this story. It was...

I can see why you won for this story. It was touching and showed that even men can cry. It is hard losing a parent and I can relate to this story only the role is reversed only with my father
Forum: Fiction 03-20-2007, 12:23 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 897
Posted By kellykat60409
I think you have a good start to a great story. I...

I think you have a good start to a great story. I am just learning how to write mystery's and I am running into a bunch of walls, but the way you wrote this part was perfect in every way.
Forum: Fiction 03-20-2007, 12:19 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 855
Posted By kellykat60409
I do agree that the voice could be matured a bit....

I do agree that the voice could be matured a bit. However, it could also work the way you have it. If he is a freak he might spend many hours watching TV and if he wacthes a lot of cartoons then he...
Forum: Fiction 03-19-2007, 09:34 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 899
Posted By kellykat60409
ver good, but to me the last part seemed out of...

ver good, but to me the last part seemed out of place a bit but i can't put my finger on it. other than that very good story and i am interested in reading more of it. i need to know what is up with...
Forum: Fiction 03-19-2007, 09:16 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 1,278
Posted By kellykat60409
very good chapter. the only thing that I saw is...

very good chapter. the only thing that I saw is some of your paragrahps are a little long. Maybe if you break some of the longer paragraphs up i think it would flow a little better.
Forum: Fiction 03-19-2007, 11:16 AM
Replies: 0
Views: 789
Posted By kellykat60409
rising sun chapter 2

okay ran it through the grammer checker.



Tara and Jason pulled up to Thomas's address and shut the car off. Tara scanned the paper and double checked the address to make sure they had the...
Forum: Fiction 03-18-2007, 09:08 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 1,270
Posted By kellykat60409
wow i was not expecting that. very nice story I...

wow i was not expecting that. very nice story I was hooked from the second I started reading it. another great story from you

I did see one thing that might be a typo but just thought I would...
Forum: Inkster Incorporated 02-28-2007, 09:01 AM
Replies: 90
Views: 5,470
Posted By kellykat60409
that is why i love the school i go to, most work...

that is why i love the school i go to, most work is turned in through msword through email.
Forum: Inkster Incorporated 02-28-2007, 08:57 AM
Replies: 90
Views: 5,470
Posted By kellykat60409
before i had my computer i had a daisy wheel...

before i had my computer i had a daisy wheel brother word processor. i miss that thing loved the noise of it when it would type lol.
Forum: Non-Fiction 02-27-2007, 10:55 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 1,903
Posted By kellykat60409
i have the same thing happen to me around...

i have the same thing happen to me around valentine days. i dont look at it the way i should anymore because when i was sixteen and got pregnant and gave my baby up for apobtion it was finalized on...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 02-23-2007, 06:19 AM
Replies: 17
Views: 1,388
Posted By kellykat60409
sometimes you have to think if the medicine you...

sometimes you have to think if the medicine you are taking is making you better or worse. i have a cyst on my brain which casues to much fluid to form sometimes and will cause me to get headaches and...
Showing results 1 to 25 of 499

 

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