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Search: Posts Made By: Konan
Forum: Fiction 02-22-2018, 08:00 AM
Replies: 17
Views: 324
Posted By Konan
I'm surprised Cityboy hasn't chirped in yet with...

I'm surprised Cityboy hasn't chirped in yet with his usual over the top rubbish.
Forum: Fiction 02-21-2018, 09:05 AM
Replies: 17
Views: 324
Posted By Konan
Do you think I surprised the reader with Kaylee...

Do you think I surprised the reader with Kaylee dumping sob stories and throwing temper tantrums?

Also, any thoughts on Kaylee's revenge on Scarlet (http://writersbeat.com/showthread.php?t=62102)?...
Forum: Fiction 02-21-2018, 09:00 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 161
Posted By Konan
The writing is pretty good here. However, I...

The writing is pretty good here.

However, I have reservations about the structure. Did I see a flashback and then another flashback in that flashback?

I found it hard to keep up.

Also, I...
Forum: Fiction 02-20-2018, 01:16 AM
Replies: 0
Views: 81
Posted By Konan
Forum: Fiction 02-20-2018, 12:53 AM
Replies: 17
Views: 324
Posted By Konan
brianpatrick said, "And in the beginning the MC...

brianpatrick said, "And in the beginning the MC should punch the girl who wrote the graffiti in the mouth. Her friend can also kick the punched girl when she’s down, if you want to go that way. But...
Forum: Fiction 02-19-2018, 06:24 PM
Replies: 17
Views: 324
Posted By Konan
brianpatrick -- Thanks for the critique. I'll...

brianpatrick -- Thanks for the critique. I'll take your suggestions into consideration.

And yes, she's in for a massive change.

Here's my character arc:

Psycho Bitch > Lessons > Cool Chick
...
Forum: Fiction 02-19-2018, 03:27 PM
Replies: 17
Views: 324
Posted By Konan
Beesauce -- I take it you're not going to give...

Beesauce -- I take it you're not going to give her a "pass" for being a psycho bitch because she lost her father when she was a baby and her mother practically abandoned her (and was sexually abused...
Forum: Fiction 02-19-2018, 11:11 AM
Replies: 17
Views: 324
Posted By Konan
Did you not pick-up that she was lying, to Sarah...

Did you not pick-up that she was lying, to Sarah and more importantly to herself? Perhaps I have to make that more clear, or maybe if you would have kept reading, it would have become more evident. ...
Forum: Fiction 02-19-2018, 08:40 AM
Replies: 17
Views: 324
Posted By Konan
How do you feel about her? (Chapter 2)

Kaylee jammed the stick into gear and stamped on the gas. Her little white Honda burst into motion, plastering Sarah’s head into the headrest beside her.

“Oh, I hope she doesn’t die or something!”...
Forum: Fiction 02-18-2018, 04:16 PM
Replies: 26
Views: 455
Posted By Konan
Cityboy -- Chill out, Dr. Phil. brianpatrick...

Cityboy -- Chill out, Dr. Phil.

brianpatrick -- Deal.
Forum: Fiction 02-18-2018, 01:03 PM
Replies: 26
Views: 455
Posted By Konan
Does that include avoiding your bullshit too?

Does that include avoiding your bullshit too?
Forum: Fiction 02-18-2018, 01:02 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 197
Posted By Konan
Haven't I read and commented on this piece years...

Haven't I read and commented on this piece years ago?
Forum: Fiction 02-18-2018, 11:41 AM
Replies: 26
Views: 455
Posted By Konan
Does this mean you won't buy a copy when you see...

Does this mean you won't buy a copy when you see it on the shelf at your local bookstore? Cityboy, I'm wounded.
Forum: Fiction 02-18-2018, 10:21 AM
Replies: 26
Views: 455
Posted By Konan
brianpatrick -- Thanks for reading and giving me...

brianpatrick -- Thanks for reading and giving me you feedback. I appreciate it.

Jesse - Thanks for taking the time to leave your thoughts. My second chapter addresses many of your concerns. I may...
Forum: Fiction 02-17-2018, 01:37 PM
Replies: 26
Views: 455
Posted By Konan
Wrong genre. But I would have accepted "another...

Wrong genre. But I would have accepted "another J.K. Rowling".
Forum: Fiction 02-17-2018, 01:26 PM
Replies: 26
Views: 455
Posted By Konan
Ah, someone's just jealous because they know this...

Ah, someone's just jealous because they know this novel is going to sell at least 50,000 copies a year.

But if you ever want to go for that steak, PM me.
Forum: Fiction 02-17-2018, 12:51 PM
Replies: 26
Views: 455
Posted By Konan
Envious haters gonna hate.

Envious haters gonna hate.
Forum: Fiction 02-17-2018, 08:24 AM
Replies: 26
Views: 455
Posted By Konan
I've had at least one agent tell me they read the...

I've had at least one agent tell me they read the complete chapter to the end (an earlier version of it) and liked it. I used the same opening sentence. Obviously, they got past the first paragraph....
Forum: Fiction 02-16-2018, 11:03 AM
Replies: 26
Views: 455
Posted By Konan
Ah, now I understand, and am happy to hear it.

Ah, now I understand, and am happy to hear it.
Forum: Fiction 02-15-2018, 07:33 PM
Replies: 26
Views: 455
Posted By Konan
Nick Pierce -- What exactly is a "gaffed...

Nick Pierce -- What exactly is a "gaffed grouper"?

Luciaphile -- Did the bullying at least make you feel a little sorry for Kaylee and make her relatable?
Forum: Fiction 02-15-2018, 01:45 PM
Replies: 26
Views: 455
Posted By Konan
Does this hook you?

The ceiling crackled and vibrated. A woman’s voice rumbled out of the loud speaker embedded in the overhead panels of the girls’ washroom:

KAYLEE CONNELLY, PLEASE REPORT TO THE OFFICE...
Forum: Fiction 02-11-2018, 06:12 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 317
Posted By Konan
I'm surprised this story didn't get more replies....

I'm surprised this story didn't get more replies.

I felt it was one of my bests.
Forum: Fiction 01-31-2018, 08:42 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 317
Posted By Konan
Beesauce -- Thanks for the comments. Glad to hear...

Beesauce -- Thanks for the comments. Glad to hear you enjoyed it.

daes13 -- Thanks for the feedback. Perhaps something to think about.

Phoenix -- Thanks for pointing out the SPaG mistakes. I've...
Forum: Fiction 01-30-2018, 09:36 AM
Replies: 25
Views: 589
Posted By Konan
I found it boring and anti-climatic.

I found it boring and anti-climatic.
Forum: Fiction 01-29-2018, 06:25 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 317
Posted By Konan
Icon4 The Purified Priest

The moment Charles closed his apartment door behind him, a fist swooped out of nowhere and struck him across the face. He let out a sharp cry as his hands leapt up to cover his pulsating jaw. Before...
Showing results 1 to 25 of 453

 

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