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Forum: Poetry 10-14-2014, 07:45 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 700
Posted By Defenestrator
Your poetic style is really unique, iDrew, and I...

Your poetic style is really unique, iDrew, and I can never decide if it's palatable for me. It has a fantastic fluidity to it, and you're very effective at using punctuation and capitalization to...
Forum: Poetry 10-14-2014, 07:37 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 762
Posted By Defenestrator
I really enjoyed the use of Marco Polo -- the...

I really enjoyed the use of Marco Polo -- the idea of finding someone with your eyes closed/blind is particularly refreshing in a poem about an object of attraction. A new image for an old subject....
Forum: Poetry 10-13-2014, 06:59 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 780
Posted By Defenestrator
I think the coffee bit is the weakest part of the...

I think the coffee bit is the weakest part of the poem, I agree.

Ill do my best to explain how it came about, reasoning-wise:

Coffee is addictive; its habit-forming (tying into the idea in...
Forum: Poetry 10-13-2014, 04:11 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 780
Posted By Defenestrator
The title was mean to be a sort of pun; I'm a...

The title was mean to be a sort of pun; I'm a fountain of a stone man pissing, and what is it I'm pissing? This poem, or with the use of synecdoche, all of my poetry. However, I'm on the fence...
Forum: Poetry 10-10-2014, 03:24 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 780
Posted By Defenestrator
My Piss

I am stone,
Unchanged except when broken.

Coffee is
Bitter,
Blackened by the fire
That roasts it, boils it.

My soul is
Damned,
Forum: Non-Fiction 09-10-2014, 02:48 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 3,542
Posted By Defenestrator
This document is a sort of journal. The friends...

This document is a sort of journal. The friends I write about are typically proven friends of several years or more. I'm only 20, so a lot remains to be seen.

I do tend to be hard on myself. ...
Forum: Non-Fiction 09-08-2014, 05:36 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 3,542
Posted By Defenestrator
Thanks for reading, guys. I don't disagree,...

Thanks for reading, guys. I don't disagree, Shelly.

Thanks for the compliment, Greggie, I really appreciate it. Hopefully the rest of the piece didn't let you down. :P
Forum: Non-Fiction 09-05-2014, 09:51 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 3,542
Posted By Defenestrator
18 pages, 7611 words

This is mostly stream of consciousness. It's 18 pages of disconnected mess, spanning less than a year of my life. I'm sure this will be as well received as if I had torn a bloody, dripping organ...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 04-28-2014, 10:26 PM
Replies: 97
Views: 3,877
Posted By Defenestrator
Ah. Sorry, crappy day. Saw a chance to...

Ah. Sorry, crappy day. Saw a chance to misdirect anger, and did so. My bad.
Forum: Writers' Cafe 04-28-2014, 05:02 PM
Replies: 97
Views: 3,877
Posted By Defenestrator
How brave. You are truly a paragon of courage. ...

How brave. You are truly a paragon of courage. How right of you to condemn people you don't know, to judge openly people you've never met, to brand them "animals" and take away their humanity with...
Forum: Poetry 04-26-2014, 08:15 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 429
Posted By Defenestrator
More along the lines of trying to put into words...

More along the lines of trying to put into words how I saw things and how I felt when I /was/ looking for that end.
Forum: Poetry 04-26-2014, 06:34 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 429
Posted By Defenestrator
Er... Right. I mean, it depends on how fast...

Er... Right. I mean, it depends on how fast you're going, if there's an airbag... But. The effectiveness of the method isn't really the point.
Forum: Poetry 04-25-2014, 03:20 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 429
Posted By Defenestrator
An End to Sorrow

My hands are on the wheel,
But somehow they are not mine any longer.
My foot is on the gas,
But some other force presses it down,
And the same force presses on my heart,
Has pressed it into my...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 04-24-2014, 12:18 PM
Replies: 97
Views: 3,877
Posted By Defenestrator
Actually being in Hell would suck. The journey...

Actually being in Hell would suck. The journey there is a little bit different. There's a lot of routes and I imagine that for an infidel like myself, many of them would bring satisfaction and...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 04-22-2014, 04:23 PM
Replies: 97
Views: 3,877
Posted By Defenestrator
All the way into Hell, if I felt that it would...

All the way into Hell, if I felt that it would bring me satisfaction or genuine enjoyment.
Forum: Poetry 04-20-2014, 07:43 PM
Replies: 14
Views: 756
Posted By Defenestrator
This poem is very enigmatic and raises a lot of...

This poem is very enigmatic and raises a lot of questions without providing the reader any strong clues with which to answer them.

Why is the speaker watching "him"? What things does the...
Forum: Poetry 04-20-2014, 07:30 PM
Replies: 25
Views: 1,333
Posted By Defenestrator
.... Did you lot really have this much discussion...

.... Did you lot really have this much discussion about a poem that, other than the title, says nothing other than "Blah"?

That, in and of itself, makes the poem good. I mean, Christ. The poet...
Forum: Poetry 04-06-2014, 10:57 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 455
Posted By Defenestrator
Golden Lock would work, because it's actually...

Golden Lock would work, because it's actually meant to refer to both the hair and the mechanism. Golden would imply a sort of metallic hue, making a sort of sneaky pun. Maybe. A gold colored lock...
Forum: Poetry 04-05-2014, 06:15 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 455
Posted By Defenestrator
Thanks! Yeah, straw lock... Straw colored lock.....

Thanks! Yeah, straw lock... Straw colored lock.. Eh. I need to think of a clever descriptor for her shade of blonde.
Forum: Poetry 04-04-2014, 10:36 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 455
Posted By Defenestrator
The Fall

A sincere smile framed
By a careless, straw lock
A laugh that warms the cell
A tongue that fools the guard
A brain that unlocks the bars
The gentle orbs, open doors
The scent of a pear enclosed...
Forum: Board Games 03-01-2014, 03:05 PM
Replies: 12,150
Views: 250,414
Posted By Defenestrator
I am way too romantic for my own good. I just...

I am way too romantic for my own good. I just enjoy those highs of emotions, yo! Way better than getting drunk.
Forum: Poetry 02-26-2014, 05:20 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 476
Posted By Defenestrator
Thanks guys! I'm glad you all have liked it so...

Thanks guys! I'm glad you all have liked it so far.




Good feedback; I think I agree, despite having chosen that allusion for specific, mostly personal reasons. When I get bored between...
Forum: Poetry 02-25-2014, 12:00 PM
Replies: 3
Views: 397
Posted By Defenestrator
Read this while using the toilet. Laughing in...

Read this while using the toilet. Laughing in public restrooms is apparently awkward.
Forum: Poetry 02-24-2014, 08:33 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 476
Posted By Defenestrator
The Text

My phone buzzes, a vibration
A thousand things it could read
A million thoughts contained
What part of the mystery
Which key to the code
Maybe it reads to tell
Of a past I donít know well
Or...
Forum: Poetry 02-13-2014, 05:19 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 336
Posted By Defenestrator
Valentines tradition

Couples like a couplet bind,
With each other intertwined.

Why am I so alone?
Showing results 1 to 25 of 142

 

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