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Forum: Poetry 06-23-2012, 05:09 PM
Replies: 10
Views: 732
Posted By Oasis Writer
It was a little rough to read. I found it pretty...

It was a little rough to read. I found it pretty sad and didn't see the same humor that KBR found in it. Just sad and a bit strong on the language. The last stanza seems the most unneeded. I think it...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 10-17-2010, 01:04 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 2,218
Posted By Oasis Writer
I don't have a certain identity as a writer. I...

I don't have a certain identity as a writer. I don't like to put myself into that specific genre because I don't think I'm a specialist in any genre. I just like to write, so I write whatever I feel...
Forum: Members' Feedback 10-15-2010, 12:56 AM
Replies: 27
Views: 4,881
Posted By Oasis Writer
I already tried this once before, and my battle...

I already tried this once before, and my battle was a lose. I was around when there was one around, and it takes a lot of work to keep it active. Traffic into the RPG forum dies some months and it...
Forum: Poetry 06-09-2010, 11:26 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 878
Posted By Oasis Writer
A five minute poem? Well, that is pretty...

A five minute poem? Well, that is pretty impressive. I like the flow of this poem, and the imagery within it. Not much to say today, sorry.
Forum: Poetry 06-09-2010, 11:25 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 626
Posted By Oasis Writer
I like the gradual growth and change throughout...

I like the gradual growth and change throughout the poem, but I think I was wanting something else today. The way I read it, I was really wanting more consequence, or something. I'm not sure what I...
Forum: Poetry 06-09-2010, 11:22 AM
Replies: 14
Views: 1,052
Posted By Oasis Writer
I think the ambiguity of the poem was used well,...

I think the ambiguity of the poem was used well, but I think the last line really detracts from that same effect. I think it would have been stronger by not alluding directly to time travel, but...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 05-07-2010, 02:53 PM
Replies: 7,466
Please Read: The Coffee Shop
Views: 217,784
Posted By Oasis Writer
Happy Friday, everyone. :)

Happy Friday, everyone. :)
Forum: Poetry 05-05-2010, 01:28 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 686
Posted By Oasis Writer
I like ice cream (a little) and I loved the...

I like ice cream (a little) and I loved the enjambment in the last few lines. This poem is a great poem to read outloud because you can really hear all the sounds and how they smack against each...
Forum: Fiction 05-05-2010, 01:25 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 2,005
Posted By Oasis Writer
Great song by Muse. Anyways, I think this might...

Great song by Muse. Anyways, I think this might be too long for flash fiction, but I don't remember all the constraints anymore. I think it was like...four hundred words? Who knows? Not me,...
Forum: Fiction 05-05-2010, 01:20 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 790
Posted By Oasis Writer
Only got a bit of time on me, and I just like...

Only got a bit of time on me, and I just like giving out some of my opinons. (Sorry, but that means no mechanical corrections, just story ideas and thoughts.) I like where the story is going, but it...
Forum: Poetry 05-05-2010, 01:14 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 748
Posted By Oasis Writer
I'll answer your question the best I can: I would...

I'll answer your question the best I can: I would if it warrants use.

I have absolutely no idea what your novel is about, and I haven't seen any of it to know if it actually fits at all, but the...
Forum: Poetry 05-05-2010, 12:12 PM
Replies: 14
Views: 1,192
Posted By Oasis Writer
Good alliteration, nice message, and the flow is...

Good alliteration, nice message, and the flow is nice. Not much to comment on, good piece. :)
Forum: Non-Fiction 04-26-2010, 09:14 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 648
Posted By Oasis Writer
Wow, slow down on the posting bud. Do some...

Wow, slow down on the posting bud. Do some critiquing to help get an audience. Kind of cliche, but the golden rule of getting critiques is to critique. You have two strong pieces so far (your first...
Forum: Fiction 04-26-2010, 09:11 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 410
Posted By Oasis Writer
I don't have a lot of time to run through with a...

I don't have a lot of time to run through with a red pen and correct mechanical errors, but it's okay, because I'm sure there will be someone behind me that will (eventually). I'll start by answering...
Forum: Poetry 04-26-2010, 08:56 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 583
Posted By Oasis Writer
Hey there. First, I think the language used...

Hey there. First, I think the language used throughout the poem needs a little tightening up. It reads really awkward and, unless intended to personify the emotion of madness, doesn't strengthen the...
Forum: Poetry 04-26-2010, 08:50 AM
Replies: 16
Views: 1,542
Posted By Oasis Writer
I love a good haiku in the morning....

I love a good haiku in the morning. Unfortunately, there isn't a robin anywhere near my residence. Just noisy, obnoxious large birds that if entered into American Idol, Simon would completely...
Forum: Poetry 04-26-2010, 08:47 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 557
Posted By Oasis Writer
My response is going to shadow Q Wands a bit. I...

My response is going to shadow Q Wands a bit. I strongly agree with her statement, "...doesn't bring anything new to the subject, but what is does bring is very good." I think this is the biggest...
Forum: Fiction 04-26-2010, 08:38 AM
Replies: 63
Views: 3,563
Posted By Oasis Writer
Erm....Well, I'm a bit confused by all the...

Erm....Well, I'm a bit confused by all the details so far, but I think I need to see some actual text (or have somewhere that is in bold and states clearly (Excerpt or Text)) because a lot of what I...
Forum: Fiction 04-23-2010, 09:30 AM
Replies: 15
Views: 1,133
Posted By Oasis Writer
Very interesting free write you have here. I...

Very interesting free write you have here. I don't like (visually) the double spaced look. I would recommend just leaving it single spaced with a space after the paragraph, which will be very similar...
Forum: Fiction 04-23-2010, 09:23 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 1,437
Posted By Oasis Writer
The question of fiction or non-fiction isn't...

The question of fiction or non-fiction isn't relevant, considering two factors: one, it is in the fiction forum, so the answer is clear, and the second factor is that we lack any more information,...
Forum: Fiction 04-12-2010, 08:25 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 557
Posted By Oasis Writer
Hey there, welcome to the forum (both of the...

Hey there, welcome to the forum (both of the above).

Most of Cass' points, I agree with, so I'll just leave you with one remark, excluding the one in this statement that is: keep working on it....
Forum: Fiction 04-07-2010, 09:34 AM
Replies: 2
Views: 608
Posted By Oasis Writer
Hey there! Well, I haven't critiqued a work of...

Hey there! Well, I haven't critiqued a work of fiction in about a year and a half, and will not lie. I am bored. So, I decided to pick up your work and give it a read through. Worked out for ya, huh?...
Forum: Poetry 03-29-2010, 05:34 PM
Replies: 28
Views: 1,395
Posted By Oasis Writer
Sounds awesome :D

Sounds awesome :D
Forum: Poetry 03-29-2010, 03:47 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 571
Posted By Oasis Writer
Howdy there! :) Alright, other then just...

Howdy there! :)

Alright, other then just taking out the Font stuff in the poem, I'm not sure where exactly to start.

I guess I can start from what I liked the most.

I love all the internal...
Forum: Poetry 03-29-2010, 03:41 PM
Replies: 9
Views: 464
Posted By Oasis Writer
For your first time at an English sonnet...

For your first time at an English sonnet (Shakespearean), you did a great job. I think a few of the lines (abab and cdcd) felt more like forced rhymes and I would have liked to see storm changed...
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