WritersBeat.com
 

Go Back   WritersBeat.com > Search Forums


Showing results 1 to 23 of 23
Search took 0.00 seconds.
Search: Posts Made By: Kriss Nichol
Forum: Poetry 02-23-2008, 12:36 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 573
Posted By Kriss Nichol
I like the overall concept of this but felt that...

I like the overall concept of this but felt that it's a bit too 'wordy' in places and needs a bit of tightening up. I liked the alliteration, the contrasting ideas, like 'passion's heat' and 'frigid...
Forum: Poetry 02-23-2008, 12:22 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 654
Posted By Kriss Nichol
Thanks for all your comments. I agree about...

Thanks for all your comments. I agree about stanza 2. It was written with a particular individual/situation in mind but since I've acquired a bit of distance I can see the weaknesses.
To Flotsam, ...
Forum: Poetry 02-18-2008, 12:09 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 654
Posted By Kriss Nichol
Poem-Environmentally Friendly

Environmentally Friendly

I’m an eco-warrior now
we’ve recycled our relationship,
reclaimed the friendship of ‘before’.

Gone, for you, the difficulty of
emotional...
Forum: The Notice Board 08-02-2007, 05:03 AM
Replies: 55
Views: 4,297
Posted By Kriss Nichol
Icon7 free VIP membership

If there's any left could I have one please? Krissxxx
Forum: Poetry 03-20-2007, 03:14 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 985
Posted By Kriss Nichol
Pills

Can we see the updated version? Krissxxx
Forum: Poetry 03-13-2007, 03:26 AM
Replies: 4
Views: 803
Posted By Kriss Nichol
Dark Out

Riverstone's said it all really. The only thoughts I could add are related to thinking about what you want to say and how you can condense it to make it powerful, choosing your words carefully and...
Forum: Poetry 03-13-2007, 03:21 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 985
Posted By Kriss Nichol
Pills

Doesn't work for me as poem because there seems to be a 'rant' at the end where I'm told something rather than be left with something to make me think. I'm also unclear about your stance on the...
Forum: Poetry 03-13-2007, 03:18 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 806
Posted By Kriss Nichol
Coffee Shop

I liked the concept of this poem and the way you develop your ideas. However, it needs to be a bit tighter and some simple editing may help. In the stanza where you talk about 'a sign of a...
Forum: Previous Contests 02-13-2007, 01:42 AM
Replies: 17
Views: 2,836
Posted By Kriss Nichol
Love Haiku

You're walking away
my heart attached to your sole
like toilet paper


Hope this is where I enter for the contest. It's not much, but you never know.........


Krissxxx
Forum: Poetry 02-08-2007, 08:33 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 749
Posted By Kriss Nichol
After every dark night

What works for me is to first decide on the idea of the poem, the thing I want to convey to a reader/audience. Then I brainstorm and write phrases down without censorship. After that I shape the...
Forum: Poetry 02-08-2007, 08:23 AM
Replies: 13
Views: 1,040
Posted By Kriss Nichol
Your love drapping me

I think all the comments about the poem have been made, but I'd like to enter into the debate about the purpose or intention of your poetry. I have always understood poetry to be a distillation of a...
Forum: Poetry 02-08-2007, 08:03 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 1,164
Posted By Kriss Nichol
Words don't know

That's great. I rely on instinct a lot too, but sometimes it's good to shape things differently, to make subject matter and form quite tight as it can make the poem have a bit more depth. That's not...
Forum: Poetry 02-08-2007, 02:09 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 1,164
Posted By Kriss Nichol
words

Is this the right place to reply?
A 'conceit' in terms of poetry is the kernel , the idea, the essence of the poem-perhaps Americans don't use the term? Krissxxx
Forum: Poetry 02-07-2007, 05:55 AM
Replies: 0
Views: 471
Posted By Kriss Nichol
Poetry

You're walking away
my heart attached to your sole
like toilet paper
Forum: Poetry 02-07-2007, 05:51 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 1,164
Posted By Kriss Nichol
Words don't know

Was wondering about the use of such rhythmic lines and the difference between the first and second stanzas. The first has lines of 4 regular 'beats' whereas the second has lines of 3. What is the...
Forum: Poetry 01-29-2007, 10:51 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 787
Posted By Kriss Nichol
The Oaks

Sorry, I'm new to this and seem to be doing it in the wrong order. Have just read your comments about dropping the last stanza and your need to have the person rebuild his relationship from the...
Forum: Poetry 01-29-2007, 10:35 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 787
Posted By Kriss Nichol
The Oaks

'Less is more' is a good phrase to keep in mind when working on emotive pieces with powerful imagery. It prevents you from going overboard and smashing the reader over the head with your 'message'....
Forum: Fiction 01-29-2007, 10:15 AM
Replies: 21
Views: 18,379
Posted By Kriss Nichol
Creep World

I think this will be a good story but the opening is all back story and could do with abit of pruning. If you start where it says 'Eric had been in Manhattan.....' it has much more impact and all the...
Forum: Fiction 01-29-2007, 10:13 AM
Replies: 21
Views: 18,379
Posted By Kriss Nichol
Creep World

I think this will be a good story but the opening is all back story and could do with abit of pruning. If you start where it says 'Eric went to Manhattan......' it has much more impact and all the...
Forum: Fiction 01-29-2007, 10:07 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 1,101
Posted By Kriss Nichol
Come out

Sorry to say I had difficulties with this one. Enjoyed the poetic descriptions of the scenery and life going on but didn't like the narrative style.Viewpoint wavered from personal to omniscient so...
Forum: Fiction 01-28-2007, 03:08 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 1,803
Posted By Kriss Nichol
Into the swim

I enjoyed reading your story and the descriptions of the water. However,I feel you may have missed an opportunity by not linking the water, it's feel, temperature etc to the protagonist's emotional...
Forum: Poetry 01-28-2007, 02:46 AM
Replies: 9
Views: 787
Posted By Kriss Nichol
The Oaks

Really enjoyed reading this. Loved your descriptions and metaphors as well as the subject matter. Krissxxx
Forum: Poetry 01-28-2007, 02:38 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 620
Posted By Kriss Nichol
Icon7 Appearing to Me

I liked the initial concept of the poem but found the heavy rhyme structure restricted the flow and made the piece rather stilted. It also seemed forced in places, so perhaps spacing the rhymes...
Showing results 1 to 23 of 23

 

All times are GMT -8. The time now is 05:50 AM.

vBulletin, Copyright 2000-2006, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.