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Forum: Fiction 07-08-2009, 06:51 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 663
Posted By Dust Mite
Absolutely! I'm thrilled to have vivid dreams :D ...

Absolutely! I'm thrilled to have vivid dreams :D
I have changed the ending now, feeling pretty good about it at the moment, but will have to wait and see if there is any further advice to improve...
Forum: Fiction 07-08-2009, 03:19 AM
Replies: 12
Views: 1,225
Posted By Dust Mite
You lower your head down to the table to act as...

You lower your head down to the table to act as if you are sleeping. But your really not. Your just hoping that someone, ANYONE will pay attention to you. But nobody does because they can see right...
Forum: Fiction 07-07-2009, 09:58 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 663
Posted By Dust Mite
Thank you both for your help! Mars46, I agree the...

Thank you both for your help! Mars46, I agree the ending should change - honestly, the reason why it's a dream is because this whole event was actually a dream I had, but I will have to think of...
Forum: Fiction 07-07-2009, 12:47 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 663
Posted By Dust Mite
Problems of a Different Kind

Hi everyone! The time feels right to get outside opinion on this story, to give me a fresh perspective on it. Thanks in advance for helping me out here. I'm particularly conscious of any parts too...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 06-16-2009, 02:55 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 2,861
Posted By Dust Mite
Thanks so much, everyone, for the encouragement...

Thanks so much, everyone, for the encouragement and understanding. I always feel crap about rejection but I feel like I tend to bounce back the next day with a renewed positivity. I feel that way,...
Forum: Writers' Cafe 06-15-2009, 12:24 AM
Replies: 8
Views: 2,861
Posted By Dust Mite
Job rejection...I can't write and I feel depressed

I've been looking for a new job for the past 7 weeks, had 3 interviews and got rejected by them all. I just had another 3 hour interview today and I'm tired of churning out carefully worded...
Forum: Fiction 06-11-2009, 03:03 AM
Replies: 7
Views: 671
Posted By Dust Mite
Firstly, what is a Nerfherder? From what I...

Firstly, what is a Nerfherder? From what I understand, it's Star Wars vocabulary for someone who is a deadbeat. I didn't quite understand it's context here..

The story, right from the beginning,...
Forum: Fiction 05-27-2009, 02:17 AM
Replies: 24
Views: 1,613
Posted By Dust Mite
Wow, this is an interesting turn of topic, but I...

Wow, this is an interesting turn of topic, but I don't mind. :D
Thanks to everyone for their individual contribution. Based on what I've learned through this thread, I feel I intuitively read commas...
Forum: Fiction 05-24-2009, 10:03 PM
Replies: 24
Views: 1,613
Posted By Dust Mite
Thank you to everyone who has commented so far,...

Thank you to everyone who has commented so far, your input is really appreciated.
I agree with JRT about the comma kafuffle. Thanks for the tips!

Thanks for your input, Gaines! Although those...
Forum: Fiction 05-21-2009, 04:25 AM
Replies: 24
Views: 1,613
Posted By Dust Mite
My Favourite Hair Conditioner (approx 400 words)

* forewarning: a little use of adult language* Quite a short story here, any criticism is much appreciated!


Last night I had a dream I was 21, a sprightly young girl 1 year my junior and quite...
Forum: Fiction 05-21-2009, 04:20 AM
Replies: 5
Views: 700
Posted By Dust Mite
This is a really good idea. Just a couple...

This is a really good idea. Just a couple questions: what do you mean she was not ready to let another 'statistic' go by? Also, if the protagonist is a witch, then I don't think I get a feel for the...
Forum: Introductions 05-21-2009, 03:57 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 675
Posted By Dust Mite
Thank you, SW. I have read the FAQ and from my...

Thank you, SW. I have read the FAQ and from my understanding you need at least 5 posts before you can post one of your own pieces? I'm pretty sure I've covered that now, so I hope everything is okay.
Forum: Fiction 05-21-2009, 03:52 AM
Replies: 11
Views: 1,227
Posted By Dust Mite
. When everything has had it's contrast turned up...

. When everything has had it's contrast turned up - every colour is brighter.
I like the description here, very effective imagery.



Instead, I got on a bus and bought all I could stand to buy...
Forum: Fiction 05-21-2009, 02:58 AM
Replies: 31
Views: 2,495
Posted By Dust Mite
[q Great imagery here, and it really supports...

[q
Great imagery here, and it really supports the fantasy theme. It does require adjusting a few grammar errors that spell-check has missed, but for the most part it is a well written piece in my...
Forum: Fiction 05-21-2009, 02:33 AM
Replies: 24
Views: 1,391
Posted By Dust Mite
I like it a lot, you can actually hear the style...

I like it a lot, you can actually hear the style of a comic book in the tone. One thing I wanted to know more about was the spirit that entered him, what was that and what did it mean to him?
Forum: Introductions 05-21-2009, 02:11 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 675
Posted By Dust Mite
It's good to be here

Hello,
Today i had a scary job interview, did some grocery shopping, had a minor fight with my boyfriend but it will probably escalate in a few months as my patience for long term relationships...
Forum: Fiction 05-21-2009, 01:48 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 555
Posted By Dust Mite
I see the comment about meds as a punchline for...

I see the comment about meds as a punchline for this prose, it adds to the darker and quiet atmosphere. But a little confused if the 'voice' is actually the meds? Also, the word 'activity' has a...
Showing results 1 to 17 of 17

 

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