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Search: Posts Made By: JesseK1213
Forum: Fiction 05-20-2018, 01:49 PM
Replies: 62
Views: 2,482
Posted By JesseK1213
I just wanted to chime in here and say that I...

I just wanted to chime in here and say that I always suspected Brian was a “plaid shorts” kind of guy.

Carry on.
Forum: Fiction 05-14-2018, 04:46 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 656
Posted By JesseK1213
Feels too preachy and thin to be a story. It also...

Feels too preachy and thin to be a story. It also doesn’t feel very honest - I feel like the author is trying to tell me somehing rather than the story takes. I would suggest taking a step back and...
Forum: Lyrics 03-24-2018, 11:57 AM
Replies: 30
Views: 1,943
Posted By JesseK1213
I dig it. Mellow but crunchy. Do you play...

I dig it. Mellow but crunchy.

Do you play all the instruments on the track?

I'm a drummer, so I'd like to hear a little more variation there, but the simple beat works for the song. I would...
Forum: Fiction 03-24-2018, 11:40 AM
Replies: 6
Views: 1,141
Posted By JesseK1213
I read most of the stuff you post, Nick. Goddamn....

I read most of the stuff you post, Nick. Goddamn. It's good.

It's your voice.

I don't have any critiques. I just like it. A lot.
Forum: Fiction 03-03-2018, 10:50 PM
Replies: 62
Views: 2,482
Posted By JesseK1213
Don't read it. The efficacy of my writing, or...

Don't read it. The efficacy of my writing, or lack thereof, has no bearing on my comment, and that comment is, You two are children.

Am I trying to write? You bet your ass I am, trying being the...
Forum: Fiction 03-03-2018, 06:48 PM
Replies: 62
Views: 2,482
Posted By JesseK1213
Yes.

Yes.
Forum: Fiction 03-03-2018, 01:21 PM
Replies: 62
Views: 2,482
Posted By JesseK1213
Jesus, you two are embarrassing. Is anyone...

Jesus, you two are embarrassing.

Is anyone else here actually trying to write?
Forum: Fiction 03-03-2018, 10:13 AM
Replies: 51
Views: 3,178
Posted By JesseK1213
I don't like Kaylee. I get that's the intention,...

I don't like Kaylee. I get that's the intention, but I don't even like that I hate her. She's smarmy, but it seems forced. She just found out that her mother was in the hospital and had been shot......
Forum: Fiction 02-17-2018, 07:50 PM
Replies: 51
Views: 3,178
Posted By JesseK1213
I think there's a lot of dialogue - it's pretty...

I think there's a lot of dialogue - it's pretty much the whole story. I could be wrong, but I think that's what Brian is saying about telling and not showing.

The "story" of this piece is...
Forum: The Library 02-05-2018, 06:10 PM
Replies: 15
Views: 1,569
Posted By JesseK1213
The Brothers Karamozov. Another is Blood...

The Brothers Karamozov.

Another is Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. I've tried a couple times, and I want to finish it, I just... can't.
Forum: Fiction 01-02-2018, 07:34 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 466
Posted By JesseK1213
I hear that. Colder weather, huh? Cue Zac Brown. ...

I hear that. Colder weather, huh? Cue Zac Brown.

Good to see you back. I saw what you posted in the Members section and I'll read/comment on it within the next few days. I have quite a few stories...
Forum: Fiction 01-02-2018, 07:14 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 466
Posted By JesseK1213
Yeah. The fact that he has to pass out and wake...

Yeah. The fact that he has to pass out and wake up again to even make the robbery work - not digging it.

This is one of those that's just going in the dust pile. I don't think it's interesting,...
Forum: Fiction 01-02-2018, 06:46 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 466
Posted By JesseK1213
Thanks, Lockette. The ending was intended to...

Thanks, Lockette.

The ending was intended to be rather dark. He'd moved from a life of gambling to a life of crime. Brett (or one of his associates) robbed the poker game, and Mark told him how to...
Forum: Free Writing 01-01-2018, 11:52 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 517
Posted By JesseK1213
In my world - the one one-millions years from now...

In my world - the one one-millions years from now - humans will be little more than slightly-less-hairy apes. At the end, maybe one of them will grunt, and another will turn their head slightly? Who...
Forum: Free Writing 01-01-2018, 11:25 AM
Replies: 3
Views: 517
Posted By JesseK1213
One Million Years

One million years from now, the entirety of the human population will be deaf. No joke. Ears will have gone the way of the plains buffalo and the wooly mammoth – useless, extinct, unnecessary.
...
Forum: Fiction 12-26-2017, 08:46 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 466
Posted By JesseK1213
Can't Win Em All

I'm not happy with this, but it's all I've finished in the last month.

Can't Win Em All

If he knew anything for sure, it was this: You canít win em all.

Thatís what Mark said to the other...
Forum: Fiction 11-20-2017, 07:39 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 1,143
Posted By JesseK1213
I've never been to Texas. Ironically enough, the...

I've never been to Texas. Ironically enough, the part about "grandpa" is actually true - my grandfather once said that to me, though he's still alive and kicking.

The connection (though it's thin,...
Forum: Fiction 10-31-2017, 10:26 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 431
Posted By JesseK1213
Awesome! Great story and very well written. I...

Awesome! Great story and very well written. I especially liked that the man didn't try to talk her off the ledge - he just talked to her.

Would've liked to learn a little more about our main...
Forum: Fiction 10-30-2017, 05:08 PM
Replies: 7
Views: 791
Posted By JesseK1213
The corrections look much better - good job. ...

The corrections look much better - good job.

What are you doing, though? Keep going! It's impossible to tell if this story will be any good from the first few paragraphs.

I can say that -...
Forum: Fiction 10-26-2017, 06:27 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 560
Posted By JesseK1213
Hmmm that's interesting. I hadn't thought of...

Hmmm that's interesting. I hadn't thought of that.

If I did it, I think it would start off with Garrett or Fishhead reading about the murder of a local waitress, recognizing her picture in the...
Forum: Fiction 10-26-2017, 06:18 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 560
Posted By JesseK1213
I think it's finished. What do you think?

I think it's finished. What do you think?
Forum: Prompts & Challenges 10-26-2017, 01:55 PM
Replies: 15
Views: 2,546
Posted By JesseK1213
Maybe that's a better question for Freud? I...

Maybe that's a better question for Freud? I couldn't tell you. It's possible I'm overusing some phrases throughout some stories. When I think of that feeling of vertigo, or falling or waking up...
Forum: Fiction 10-26-2017, 01:44 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 560
Posted By JesseK1213
Forum: Prompts & Challenges 10-03-2017, 04:03 PM
Replies: 15
Views: 2,546
Posted By JesseK1213
@Lockette I've done data entry before and...

@Lockette

I've done data entry before and can 100% confirm that's what happens if you do it too long. Haha, good stuff! I like your take on the prompt - Tad dies and no one cares.

@Grace
...
Forum: Prompts & Challenges 10-01-2017, 02:07 PM
Replies: 15
Views: 2,546
Posted By JesseK1213
I've edited the thread title and its contents....

I've edited the thread title and its contents. Hopefully it worked.

Looking forward to this!
Showing results 1 to 25 of 53

 

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