Thread: Amen
View Single Post
  #5  
Old 05-15-2018, 02:27 AM
Lingard (Offline)
Typist
Official Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Nowra, Australia
Posts: 63
Thanks: 8
Thanks 11
Default

Originally Posted by JesseK1213 View Post
Feels too preachy and thin to be a story. It also doesn’t feel very honest - I feel like the author is trying to tell me somehing rather than the story takes. I would suggest taking a step back and trying to develop more character, conflict and setting, for starters. Your mechanics of writing are fine, the story reads smoothly. You’re telling a grand story, so make it grand. Let loose. I know you can write, so write, dammit.
Thank you, Jesse. I really appreciate this feedback; it's very helpful. This isn't a story; just an idea for one. Just a vignette. But maybe I could turn it into a story. I might give it a go, now.
Reply With Quote