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Old 07-20-2010, 02:22 PM
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cmhine (Offline)
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Preston, England
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Yikes. The similarities are endless. My chapter two starts with a nightmare. Is that bad? My MC's plagued with them, that's a major issue for him and an integral aspect of the main plot.

And, as regards what you said about her birth mothers death, mines similar there two. I have an organisation known as 'The Priory'. They've had a part in the death of my MC's mother. It's all v complex.

Anyhow, your hook: you're quite right about your sentence length record holding. It's a whopper alright. It does hit the spot though, gets you wondering what it is about 'Dev' that's caused this historic catastrophe. I have a 'Dez' character, short for Derek. What's 'Dev' short for?

I'm already thinking about my next story, which continues on from this epic offering. My next chp one will start with gore and a cliff hanger. Try that. Introduce an implausibility, some intrigue that raises a question and ultimately causes that proverbial reader to turn that page.

Have you posted your chapter one on a previous occasion?
I say we Nuke this site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

Last edited by cmhine; 07-20-2010 at 02:29 PM..
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