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Old 10-19-2013, 05:53 PM
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rob_desharnais (Offline)
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I can't really give you anything helpful here. Personally, the story does not sound very interesting, but that's just me. I think if it was me I would change David's cruise to a single vacation to a specified foreign country, he then meets Danielle. Also i think I would have Lynn or Robert discover Danielle's true intentions but the experience trouble in telling David. Possibly David isn't willing to believe the truth, maybe even to the point that he has been corrupted and persuaded by Danielle to turn against Lynn and Robert.
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