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Old 10-17-2006, 04:39 PM
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OnceUponATime (Offline)
Heartbreaking Writer of Staggering Genius
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Location: State of Insanity - I must be in order to start my own paper...
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Originally Posted by JRT View Post
Oh, I forgot, but you may want to consider taking the word "that" out in a couple of places -- "that" word seems unnecessary and inconsistent with the rest of your work.

"He speaks in terms of light and shadow, in the way that the breeze caresses my face and in the way the sunlight touches trees and paints them pink and gold."

"It appears that I have unwanted company."


Those dreaded 'THAT's' keep sneaking in....(smacks self in forehead). You're right - they're goners.


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