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Old 01-20-2015, 06:39 AM
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I-Gypsy-Queen (Offline)
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Your tone is fun and I think you have a lot of potential with a character like William Block. However, this reads like an excerpt,an introduction to a story rather than a full one. It needs to b expanded, or if it is an excerpt of a longer story you wrote, then we need to see the rest!
Write on!
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