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Old 07-10-2016, 02:30 AM
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Elisa/win (Offline)
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Yes, that's right. In addition to my previous comments, in flash fiction, you really need to work on strong nouns and verbs to get the idea across. This will not only save you words, but also make the story hit the reader harder.

Here is a link of a a journal that specialises in publishing flash fiction and I think they captured the essentials. You will see that my comments about stronger nouns and verbs is also mentioned by them.

And yes, do send me a PM about what they say. You are improving, and the good thing about writing is that you can only improve not get worse. So keep at it

oh, also, I was thinking how to suggest who the man in the white coat is. Keri cannot read, but perhaps he sees something poking out of one of the man's pocket. You can describe it so it's clear that Keru has no idea what is it, but the reader will immediately recognise it as something that belongs to a doctor or scientist, which ever the man in the coat really is.
Love me for all my faults
Some run from their phantoms, some can face their's, but the truly courageous wink at their's
Great writing is not simply words on a page, it's a conduit between the writer and the reader's souls.

Last edited by Elisa/win; 07-11-2016 at 06:10 PM..
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