View Single Post
  #10  
Old 01-09-2018, 04:11 PM
DoggedDavid (Offline)
Abnormally Articulate
Official Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 125
Thanks: 13
Thanks 41
Default

After I check and constrain my paranoia (I rhyme a lot, and I might be termed "old school," so my egocentricism can make me see your opening lines as an attack on my style), I really like this.

It succinctly and smartly conveys a definite point of view.

Although like this, I am not so sure about the end:

You wrote:

And it would no more show the truth
of my love
than a gutter dropped
used "French Love Letter"
could show yours

I might amend that to write:

And it would no more show the truth
of my love
than a used "French love letter"
dropped in the gutter
could show yours
Reply With Quote