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Old 08-09-2018, 04:16 PM
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daes13 (Offline)
Heartbreaking Writer of Staggering Genius
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Join Date: Oct 2014
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Yes agreed. That or imbue the stream of conciousness with the dog attribute

You do well with the smell, but hearing as well could be incorporated. The dialogue is good, just the spaces in between need to be filled in with the consciousness to maoe it merge,

Hope that makes sense and maybe helps
I'm just bored. Slinging the first thought that comes to mind, which is often poor advise.

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