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Kani

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Old 03-19-2010, 02:26 PM
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Beanie (Offline)
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Hi, my name's Kani Dia. I'm fine with just Kani. I'm 16-years-old and I live with my godparents here in Japan.

I'm a highschool student at the prestigous Burton Academy; junior, of course. I'm half British and Japanese (unusual mix).

My job is at a net cafe not too far from home. I guess I like it because it doesn't require me to be socially active like at a waitress job.

I became an orphan at three when my mother died from an illness; my father in a car crash. My brother run away from home before that, though. I had no other relatives and was left with my parents' best friends.

With me being a teenager, I have never had a love interest and can't keep a friend for an impressionable time. These are things I'd rather not touch. Even Musou leaves it alone (which I'm thankful for).

When I have time I like to read and study for school.

The only true secret I have is that I have to ability to absorb a person's memories. Not a fun power. I can black out if that person had too harsh of a life. I don't know how or where I got it. I was aware of it when I three, and that changed how I thought forever. The painful part of it that I'm afraid I'll never be able to experince something for myself. I even have a suspicion that it may be why my brother left.

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Old 06-14-2010, 05:49 AM
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Reading over it, I get the impression that there's potential but when I summarise it, it looks much less promising.

A teenager orphaned at a young age by the death of her parents and abandoned by her brother is alone and alienated from society/reality, but has psychic abilities because
a) Government experiment
b) Family is actually psychic, but because of dead parents, this is not known until brother is found.
c) Alien(s)
d) Ancient mystical curse/artifact
e) A wizard did it

Regarding your writing, I'm getting the impression that either English is your second language or that you haven't had much time to hone your writing skills. I'm not about to point out every spelling and grammar mistake, but you might want to look into improving the flow and accuracy of your writing.

The down side is that what I can see is quite cliche, the good news is that there's still plenty of open-ended potential for uniqueness.
Translation: Hi there, have you ever been visited in the night by creepy guys in suits and black shades?
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Last edited by tcol4417; 06-14-2010 at 07:37 AM..
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Old 09-19-2010, 11:14 AM
AlgaeNymph (Offline)
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Originally Posted by Beanie View Post
I'm a highschool student at the prestigous Burton Academy; junior, of course. I'm half British and Japanese (unusual mix).
What seems more unusual to me is a school with an English name in Japan, but then I don't know that much about the culture.
My job is at a net cafe not too far from home. I guess I like it because it doesn't require me to be socially active like at a waitress job.
What do you do at the net cafe?
The only true secret I have is that I have to ability to absorb a person's memories. Not a fun power. I can black out if that person had too harsh of a life.
Ouch. Still, have you ever thought of how you can put your power to use?
The painful part of it that I'm afraid I'll never be able to experince something for myself. I even have a suspicion that it may be why my brother left.
Are you able to tell your memories from someone else's?
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Old 09-21-2010, 12:16 PM
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Who is this Musou person? He/She seems like the one person who is halfway close to you, why are they let in (even just a little) while everybody else is shut out?
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When people talk about a good book they say it's a page turner. But really that's about the minimum I expect from a book. 'Is it a good book?' No, the pages don't turn.- Michael McIntyre
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