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Night Touch

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  #1  
Old 10-18-2013, 02:44 PM
Delmar Cooper (Offline)
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Default Night Touch


Night Touch

Falling from her motherís arms, the acorn
Reclines upon a mossy bed, and dreams
Dreams of birdís nests in her hair.

Gently Earth impales herself upon an oaken stake
Then rests from her labor
In a pool of darkening shade.

Riven from the precipice, the flint far fallen
Is softly bathed by the stream, softly
Until sharp wrath is smoothed away.

As if in a dream
I feel your hand upon my brow
And as if dreaming, I sleep.

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  #2  
Old 10-18-2013, 08:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Delmar Cooper View Post

Riven from the precipice, the flint far fallen
is softly bathed by the stream
I like this part very much! Ri-VEN, preCIpice, FLint FAR FAH-Len, soFTLy baTHed, sTReam...these are poetic effects I honor and seek myself.

I also like your final stanza, though I still need to figure it out!

: = )

P.S. I might position the adjectives ahead of the noun: ...the far-fallen flint....
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Old 10-19-2013, 08:22 AM
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Great imagery set with a sense of solitude and inexorable life. Second stanza especially accents the human/nature analogy. Excellent. Thank you.
Paco
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