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Delivery Driver-Fun At Work

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Old 06-28-2010, 03:06 PM
ShrewdSpirit (Offline)
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Icon5 Delivery Driver-Fun At Work


[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']Chapter 13: Fun At Work[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif'] Things were slow at Pleasure Pizza that day. It was one of those beautiful, sunny Saturday afternoons, where everyone was outside enjoying the weather and not ordering pizza. The crew was standing around, joking, trying to think of stuff to do. The trash was done, the dishes were done, and the store looked relatively clean. NSync’s teen pop music emanated from the little radio. Jason was doing some dishes. Bonny was sitting on a stool, reading a paperback novel. Nicole was studying some homework for school. Mike was outside, smoking a cigarette. Tyson was sweeping the floor. Dwayne was busy folding boxes, but a stack of them had tipped over, so he had to pick them up. Adam was eating pepperoni off the make line.[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif'] “Adam, you’re not supposed to eat food off the make line,” said Max, “It’s against the rules.”[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif'] “Fuck the rules!” said Adam, who was known for being a rebel, “Sometimes you just gotta break the rules.”[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif'] “This isn’t Burger King,” said Max with a chuckle. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif'] “If you’re gonna break a rule, make sure it’s for something good,” said Bruce.[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif'] “Let’s make a pizza,” Carlos said. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif'] “I’ll make the most awesome pie in the world. It’ll be legendary,” said Paul. He then began to make his crazy creation. First, he coated the pizza dough with garlic butter. Then he spooled pizza sauced on top of that. On top of the sauce, he put a layer of the bleu cheese dressing they used for wings. Then he topped it with beef, chicken, mushrooms, pineapples and tons of onions. Finally, he loaded it with cheese, spread some hot sauce on top and piled on a mountain of jalapenos. “This pizza is gonna be freakin amazing!” said Paul proudly. The pizza came out of the oven, but they had to push it back in to cook it some more, since there was so much crap on it. It was finally removed from the oven, and they patiently waited for it to cool down. Then they began to all chow down on this nasty creation, all but Jason. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif'] “That has to be the most disgusting pizza I’ve ever seen,” he said. For some strange reason, the grosser the food was, the more Paul liked it. After about twenty minutes, crewmembers started rushing toward the bathroom one-by-one, each with a bad case of the shits.[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif'] A bit later, Paul came up to Jason and said, “Jason, I want you to do some couponing,” [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif'] “Say, what?” [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif'] “We’re slow right now; there are no orders up. Go down to Virginia Apartments and put these coupons on all the doors,” Paul said. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif'] “Aw, man, you gotta be kidding me.”[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif'] “We need to do this to promote business. And don’t just throw them away and hang out McDonald’s for an hour; I’ll go down there later to make sure they’re on there. Take Tyson and Travis with you,” said Paul, and he handed Jason a big stack of coupons. The coupons said things like “Two One-Topping Pizzas For $19.99”, “Medium Cheese Pizza for $7.99” and had the store’s name, address, and phone number on them. So off the three of them went couponing.[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif'] They arrived at Virginia Apartments and were greeted by a sign that said “No Soliciting” and “No Trespassing”. They could have turned back, but decided to move forward. The gate was locked, but they followed another vehicle in. They divvied up the coupons, and went about hanging them on doors. It was tedious, boring, repetitive work, and Jason didn’t care for it. Not to mention, he wasn’t earning any tips. It was a sunny, hot day, about 85, and Jason broke a good sweat. The apartments were three stories, so they had to go up two flights of stairs. After about a half-hour, Jason sat on the steps and took a break. People were out, walking their dogs; children were playing in the street, yet Jason was stuck doing this chore. “If I had a 9 to 5 job, I’d be out riding my bike now, instead of hanging coupons with a gangster and a gay guy,” thought Jason. He reflected on his college career, his job search, and wondered where he went wrong. After about an hour, they finished the couponing; his feet and legs were sore from all that walking and going up stairs, and he was hot and exhausted. They headed back to the store in Jason’s car. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']Jason was back at the store; the crew was just hanging out, twiddling their thumbs. “Man, this sucks, we’re never gonna make any money today,” complained Adam. “It’s seven o-clock, and I’ve only made six dollars. I’ve got bills to pay.” [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Yeah, I know what you mean,” said Mike, “I’ve been here since four and only made ten dollars. Usually, I make like a hundred on a Saturday night. It must be the nice weather. Everyone’s out having fun in the sun.”[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“You guys are lucky,” chimed in Max, “us insiders only make eight bucks an hour. What do yall average here?” [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“About fifteen,” said Tyson. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“You’re never gonna get rich at this kind of working-class job,” said Jason, “that’s why I went to college.” [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Shit,” said Tyson, “you should be making sixty K.” [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Yeah, I know, but I’m stuck here,” said Jason. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Yeah, I worked day-shift for a while, but it be slow in the day; now I’m back to nights.” [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“The way to make money here,” Mike explained, “is to come in a little early and leave a little late. If you’re only here for three hours, you might crap out and get nothing. And don’t leave, if there’s a run up for you; keep gettin’ while the gettin’s good.” [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“The closers make all the money,” said Bonny. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Yeah, but that’s only cuz we work more hours,” said Bruce, “it dies after eleven, and we spend the next two hours sweeping, mopping, doing dishes, cleaning the store.” The store opened at eleven AM and closed at one AM, two on weekends. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“I just fuckin floor it, run red lights, stop signs; that’s how I make my money,” said Adam. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Yeah, but you gotta be careful, or someone will call in and complain about your driving,” explained Bruce. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Fuck it, I don’t care. I fly down there and fly right back.”[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“That rarely happens, and Paul doesn’t care too much about that,” said Mike. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Man, I make like twenty dollars a night,” complained Leonard. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“That’s cuz you’re slow as molasses,” said Jesse, “if you wanna make money, put the pedal to the metal. How many deliveries do you take a night?” [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Like five.” [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Jesus! I take like fifteen or twenty! What the hell are you doing out there?” [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“I dunno,” Leonard sheepishly replied. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“You just gotta know the area,” said Bonny. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“And if Paul knows your fast, he’ll give you more doubles and triples and shit,” said Adam. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“The northwest runs are the best,” said Dwayne.[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“You make the most money, when you’re going in and out and not waiting in the store for a delivery for a half hour. Gotta love the ole in ‘n’ out,” said Adam. The crew members snickered at Adam’s attempt at humor. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']Jason put in his own bit of wisdom, “We all compete with each other to get ahead in society. That’s American capitalism. But perhaps we’ve taken it too far. It’s important to relax once in a while. Cooperation is more important than competition.”[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“I’ll agree with that,” said Tyson.[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']All the crewmembers struggled for financial freedom. Some were unlucky like Jason; others were lazy like Leonard and perhaps deserved their fate, while others were just plain stupid like Dwayne. Still they were all stuck here at this working-class job. Max had a power bill he’d been putting off for months; Jesse just had his cable disconnected because he couldn’t afford to pay the bill, and Jason had his student loans deferred because he couldn’t pay them back right away. Then there was Adam who lived with his parents and spent all his money on drugs. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Conservatives stereotype the working class, saying they’re all lazy or drug-users and deserving of their plot in life, but this isn’t so,” said Jason, showing off his college education.[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Hey there, buddy,” interjected Jesse, “I voted for Bush.” [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Well, what did you do that for?” argued Jason, “They only care about the rich. They must really like the poor, they way they’re always screwin em. There are a lot of rich snobs who look down on the working class and think they’re better than us. The Republicans want to give tax cuts to the rich, leaving less money for schools and public programs.” [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Well, I’m pro-NRA and anti-abortion. Besides, Clinton couldn’t keep his dick in his pants,” explained Jesse. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Well, at least under Clinton, we had peace and prosperity,” said Jason, “Now, who knows what’ll happen? And W stole that election.” It was by now December 2000, and the country had just endured the Florida recount debacle. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Hey, Bush won that election fair and square. Gore’s jus bein a sore loser.” [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Dude, by five hundred votes. And what about the butter-fly ballot, the purging of the voter rolls in Florida, and the Supreme Court decision to stop the recount?” [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']Travis interjected, “It was Nader that cost Gore the election.” [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“No, it was Bill’s member,” said Mike. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Can we please stop the political debates?” said Paul, “Jeez, I feel like I’m on CNN. We all gotta work together, so let’s all get along and respect each other’s opinions.” [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“What we need is a black president,” said Tyson. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']Jesse responded, “Yeah, right, that’ll never happen.” [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']They were still standing around looking for things to do. The radio was playing the Back Street Boys song, “I Want It That Way.” “Do we have to listen to this top 40 stuff?” said Jesse. He went over to the cheap, little radio and changed it to the country station. Some song about drinking and horses was playing. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“This stuff is freakin driving me nuts,” said Adam, and he changed it to the hard-core rock station, cranking up the volume. The song featured loud, fast, crashing guitars with the singer shouting something unintelligible, obviously very angry about something. A few of the crew members knew the lyrics of this song and actually understood what they were saying, singing the lyrics themselves quite badly. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']A few minutes later, Bonny comes back from a run. “What the hell are you listening to? We can’t have that stuff blasting like that; it’ll scare away all the customers.” She hobbled over to the radio and changed it to the easy-listening station, where a soothing Barbara Streisand love song was playing. “This is more like it,” she said, and the crew appeared to calm down a bit. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']Soon after, Tyson walked over to the little radio, “shit, man, yall be tripping,” he said, changing it to the rap station, “It’s time to get jiggy.” [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“This isn’t music; it’s talking,” said Mike, changing it to the oldies station. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Personally, I like Musica Latina, Santana, salsa, meringue,” said Carlos. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Oh, put it on Radio Disney,” said Nicole. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Will you guys stop fucking with the radio? Just keep it on the pop station; at least there’s a variety on there,” said Paul, changing the radio station back to the top 40 station where Christina Aguilera was explaining “What A Girl Wants.”[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']Jason went up to Nicole, the cute phone girl, to flirt with her. “So, do you like this song?”[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Oh, I love Christina. I have her CD at my house,” she said. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“What exactly does a girl want?” She laughed a little.[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Um, a nice personality, a sexy bod, money, stuff like that.”[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Well, I got two out of three. I’m still working on the money part.” Nicole giggled. “Do you ever get tips here, working inside? You know from carry-out customers.”[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Yeah, sometimes, I’ll get a few dollars. I wish we had a tip jar. Sometimes, a dirty old man will wink at me and give me a five.”[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Well, you can’t blame them. You’re a hot little number.”[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Thanks, you’re pretty hot yourself.”[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']Paul interrupted their flirtatious bantering, “Jason, you’re run is up.”[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Yeah, I better go, before this pie gets cold,” Jason said to her. They exchanged smiles, and Jason took off on his delivery.[/FONT]


[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']Chapter 14: More Fun At Work[/FONT]

[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']Bonny was at the counter taking an order on the phone. “Look at Bonny’s cute little rump. You know you want that,” Adam said to Jason. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Ew, that’s nasty,” said Jason. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“I didn’t’ tell you what happened the other day, did I? She pulled out her dentures and gave me the best hummer of my life! She really knew what she was doing. She’s been smoking pole for half a century,” said Adam. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“You’ve got a sick mind, Adam,” said Jason. Adam went over to Bonny who had just finished taking the order. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Jason was just admiring your tight butt. He said your gilfalicious,” he said. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“What does that mean?” Bonny asked. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“GILF, like MILF, a Gramma I’d Like to Fuck,” said Adam. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']Bonny smiled and giggled for a bit and looked at the boys, “Ok, when do you wanna do it?” [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']Jason stammered for a bit, “Um, uh, I’m sorry; I have a girlfriend. Adam was just joking around.” With that, he went to the back to the store; Adam laughed; Bonny just stood there with a devilish grin on her face. Jason couldn’t get that image out of his head.[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']Jason had nothing to do, so he decided to straighten up the place. He picked up trash off the floor and threw it away, put away pizza screens, and cleaned the cut table. He took all the boxes that were folded on the delivery table and put them away. He threw away some trash on the table too, but then, Bonny came up to him and said, “Jason, where’s my coke?” [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Uh, I think I just threw it away.”[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Well, what did you do that for? I was still drinking it.”[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Well, there was only a tiny bit left in it, and it looked flat. Just fish it out of the trash.” [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“I’m not gonna do that. That’s disgusting.”[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Well, I’m sorry about that. Just get yourself another one.” Bonny was a little irked by that, but she went in the refrigerator and got herself another coke. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Jason, can you go in the walk-in and restock the mushrooms?” Paul said, “After that, make a bucket of sauce.”[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“No problem,” said Jason, agreeing to perform these simple, manual chores. The work at Pleasure Pizzas didn’t require much brains, and thus a large portion of Jason’s great mind went underutilized. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']Some orders trickled in, and Jason a few other drivers were busy making pizzas, piling on beef, bacon, chicken, and pepperoni. An annoying fly kept hovering around the make line and landing on the food. “Who mourns for all these cows, chickens, and pigs we slaughter to make these pizzas?” asked Jason. “[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']What are you talking about?” asked Bruce. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Chicken holocaust,” said Adam. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“We must kill millions of these animals every year in this country,” said Jason. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Well, I love to eat meat, so I guess they’re shit out of luck. I like to hunt too. Ever had squirrel or rabbit?” said Jesse. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Oh, my God, that’s disgusting,” said Jason. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Oh, it’s great,” said Jesse, “we should add that as a pizza topping.” They all laughed hysterically. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']The crew was bored again and started gossiping and telling stories. “Did you hear about what happened to Paul?” said Adam, “It was after closing, and he was in the walk-in, getting head from his girlfriend, Susan. Al, the regional manager, made an unexpected late-night visit and caught them in the act. Apparently, she had just finished her job, and there was a mess all over her face. Paul was suspended for two weeks for engaging in sexual activity on the premises and dating an underling. There was a sanitary issue as well.” The guys all chuckled. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Oh my God, that’s too funny,” said Jason. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Jason, that was a few years ago, before you started here.”[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“What about the time some retard accidently hit the gas pedal instead of the breaks and rammed into the wall outside? That’s how that big dent got there,” said Bruce. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“I always wondered where that came from,” said Jason.[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Or remember when Dwayne cut his finger on the slicer, when he was cutting onions?” said Adam, “There was blood spewing everywhere. We had to clean up all the blood and slice a whole new batch of onions. He ended up going to the emergency room and getting stitched up. Dumb ass.”[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Remember Gretchen, the old regional manager?” said Mike. “She came in to the store to inspect the place and made herself two dozen hot wings. Adam thought they were extra crew wings and wolfed them all down. Then she started flipping out, saying ‘that damn nigger ate my wings, damn nigger this, nigger that’ referring to Tyson, who she thought did it. She was history after that. Apparently she was racist and had some sort of chemical imbalance; she was like manic bi-polar or something.” [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Remember George? He was always snaking other drivers and leaving orders behind. He would come in late, call in sick like twice a week, and we suspected him of stealing from the store too. He had no character or integrity. Paul finally got sick of his crap and gave him the boot,” said Bruce.[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“I remember when Steve and Chris got into an actual fist fight over a delivery. We lost two drivers in one day,” said Leonard. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Any yall ever robbed?” Jason asked.[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Yeah, I got a pistol stuck in my face down off Daniel Lane. Bastard got like fifty bucks from me. They never caught the dude,” said Mike.[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“One time, I was delivering to Freedom Lane, when a bunch of black thugs like swarmed around me. One of them started spinning me around in circles. They took the pizzas, but not any money, go figure,” said Jesse.[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']Since it was slow, the drivers were folding boxes. “Man, these boxes suck,” Leonard whined. “Shut your hole!” yelled Paul. “Leonard, I’m sick of your whining. You’ve been here nine months and still don’t know how to do half the things in the store. And it takes you an hour and half to make your deliveries.” [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“You need to speed it up, my friend,” said Jason politely. Leonard kept folding boxes very slowly, being busy doing something close to nothing.[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']Carlos had just returned from a run. “I just fuckin stiffed! Oh my God. That run sucked. First, it took me twenty minutes to get down there, cuz there was a wreck. Then, when I get there, the lady takes like ten minutes to answer the door. She’s trying to put away her dogs, all yapping like crazy. Then, she tipped me sixteen cents on a thirty dollar order,” he said.[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']Mike added his two cents, “What I hate is drivers who see a green light and make no effort to make it. You know it’s gonna go red soon. That’s called trolling towards a green.”[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Or customers who talk on cell phones and drive slow as fuck in the left lane,” chimed in Adam.[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Yeah, they should outlaw driving with cell phones,” said Travis.[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“But we need those. Sometimes, I gotta call a customer to get directions. I just wish people wouldn’t chit-chat all day on the road. That’s dangerous.” said Bruce. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“The worst is assholes who call in and complain about our driving. That’s fucked up to mess with a man’s livelihood,” said Adam.[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Or customers who bitch about the price,” said Jesse.[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“What I hate is customers who try to get a free pizza, just cuz it’s five minutes late,” said Mike, “If we all took singles, Paul would have to hire a zillion drivers, and we’d never make any money.”[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Business is so unpredictable here,” said Bonny, “sometimes it’s slamming, other times, it’s dead as a door nail. You just never know.” [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“I hate it when I make a wrong turn out there, and another driver beats me back by thirty seconds. You gotta really hustle to make good money. It’s all about flawless execution,” said Bruce. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“I can’t stand customers who want to pay for a ten dollar pizza with a credit card. Then we have to enter in their all their information in the computer, and while we’re doing that, we can’t get to the other customers on hold, and they hang up. That costs us and the store money,” said Mike.[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']Adam added, “Yeah, and don’t they realize, we have all their credit card information now, plus their name and address. There’s nothing to stop us from going online and ordering a five thousand dollar computer with all their info.”[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']Just then, the phone rang, and Dwayne went over to answer it, “Uh, this is Pleasure Pizza.” [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“What kind of specials do you have?” asked the customer. Dwayne appeared confused.[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Um, what are our specials?” he asked Paul. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Dwayne, don’t you know our specials by now? Besides, it’s posted on the board right in front of you,” said Paul. Dwayne looked at the list of specials and struggled to read them to the customer. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“I want the two pizzas and cinnamon pie for $19.99,” said the customer. Dwayne looked at the computer screen, mystified, not knowing what to do. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“How do I put in the cinnamon pie?” he asked. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“You got to go to Deserts and click Cinnamon Pie. How do you not know that?” said Paul. Dwayne managed to complete this seemingly very complex task. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Um, how do I do the coupon?” [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Let me do this,” said Travis, coming to the rescue, “Dwayne, move out of the way,” and he quickly finished the order in about two seconds. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']A few more orders had come in. “Make line!” shouted Paul, which indicated there were pizzas that needed to be made. Jason went over there to top some pizzas, while Bonny hobbled over to the end to put the cheese on, which she struggled to do. Bonny held herself up with her cane in her left hand, while she slowly sprinkled cheese on the pizzas with her right. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Bonny, I don’t see how you can do this job. What happened to you anyways?” asked Jason. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“I was shot while taking a delivery a few years ago. A man came out of nowhere and shot me in my lower back. The doctors say I have nerve damage, and it’s not going to get any better. I was in physical therapy for a while, but that’s didn’t really help much. But I manage to get around ok. I’ve been delivery driving for thirty-two years, and I wouldn’t think of doing anything else. I know all the shortcuts and the tricks of the trade,” she said. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']Bonny was the only driver with a handicapped tag in her car, letting her park in any handicapped parking space. Of course, the other drivers often did that anyways. Since Bonny was disabled, she was unable to really help out that much on the make line. In addition, she couldn’t cut pizzas, coupon, sweep, or mop. She did fold boxes and clean dishes, very slowly. However, she had a feisty personality and was great on the phones. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Bonny, your order is up,” said Paul, “you’ve got eight pizzas going to Honda Land.” [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Jason, can you help me carry these out to my car?” she asked. Jason obliged and carried a few pizza bags out to her car. Her car was an absolute mess; books, clothes, papers, bottles, and empty bags littered the interior. But she kept meticulous notes of her deliveries, writing down each order and the tip she received in a little notebook. “Sorry, it’s such a mess. I’m living on my daughter’s couch, and they don’t have much room in there, so I keep a lot of my personal stuff in my car,” she said. Jason felt sorry for her. She was struggling just to survive, like so many others at Pleasure Pizza and in the working class. Bonny took off, and Jason went back in the store. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']A well-built, handsome man came into the store to order a pizza. Travis went up to the customer and greeted him in his usual fairyish way, “Welcome to Pleasure Pizza! How may I help you sir?” said Travis, giving the straight guy the queer eye. The man looked back with an upset, annoyed look on his face. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Don’t call me sir. I fuck girls younger than you.”[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Well, I don’t fuck girls at all; I’m into men.”[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Oh, that’s just wonderful. What are your specials?” he asked. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Well, right now, we have a large three-topping pizza for $11.99. But if you get two of them, you get a very special discount. It comes to only $19.99!” said Travis quite gayly. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“I’ll take a large meat-lover’s,” the man said. “Fantastic! We’ll have your amazing large pizza ready for you in only ten minutes,” said Travis with a big smile.[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“And you don’t have to be nice to me, bud. Just pile on the meat!” [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']The man gave Travis the money and sat down to wait for his pizza. Ten minutes later, Travis handed him the pizza, “Heeere’s your pizza sir! Hot, fresh, and delicious! I’m sure you’re gonna love it!” The man took the pizza and left the store. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']Paul who had been monitoring the whole exchange came up to Travis, “Travis, I respect your sexuality, but please don’t flirt with the male customers. It gives them the creeps.” Travis went back to doing something else. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']Some orders had come in. Tyson was up next and wanted to take a triple, but Carlos objected. “You gonna take three runs with all these drivers standing around. That leaves me with just a single, going all the way to RFK.”[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Aight, I’m feeling generous today, cuz I just got laid by my sweety. I’ll give you this one going right behind us,” said Tyson.[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Gracias, mi amigo.” They eventually took their respective runs.[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif'] “Let’s make a crew pie!” said Jesse. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“I gotta great idea. Let me see the dough,” said Adam. He began stretching and docking out the dough into an unusual shape. He then spread some butter on it and covered it with cheese. “Wait til you see this.” Eight minutes later the dough came out of the oven. There were two dough shapes, one in the shape of a penis, the other in the form of a vagina. “Cheese Bread Dicks and Cheese Bread Clits.” The crew all laughed. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Oh my God; that’s too funny!” said Jesse. The crew then devoured the baked genitals. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']The crew was bored and thinking of stuff to talk about. “What do you think delivery driving will be like in the future?” Jason asked. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“They’ll probably have flying cars, like in Back to the Future,” said Jesse. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“No, they’ll teleport the pizzas,” said Max. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“They’ll have a computer system that automatically routes the drivers,” said Mike. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“The cars will freakin' drive themselves,” said Adam. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“There won’t be any pizza business in the future, cuz the government will outlaw junk food,” said Travis. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Everyone will figure out how fattening the pizza is and stop ordering,” said Jason. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Drivers will be making tips only, cuz the economy will be so bad,” said Bonny.[/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“Everyone will have a replicator, like in Star Trek, where you just push a button and presto, there’s your pizza,” said Bruce. [/FONT]
[FONT='Times New Roman','serif']“What the hell are yall talking about?” said Paul, “can we get back to the present? This is 2000.”[/FONT]


Last edited by ShrewdSpirit; 06-29-2010 at 10:00 PM.. Reason: Removing font HTML tags
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Old 06-28-2010, 03:12 PM
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My first suggestion would be to not start out each sentence with "[FONT='Times New Roma','serif']"



Second suggestion is to add an extra break in between paragraphs.

Fix those things, and I'll check back on this later and give some feedback!
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Old 06-28-2010, 04:50 PM
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If you can fix the html tags and the spacing and repost. Ill happliy read it and take you poll.


Sorry Firefly, been waiting for some place to use that smilie
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Old 06-29-2010, 08:18 AM
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I didn't mean to put that HTML code in there. The website did it. How do I take it out???
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Old 06-29-2010, 08:25 AM
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There's an "edit" button at the bottom of your post. Click on that, and you can format the story (or format it in another word program and copy/paste it back in there).
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Old 06-29-2010, 10:01 PM
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I still can't figure how to remove the HTML tags, without doing it manually, and I'm a computer technician, certified in web design and Internet technology. How do I remove those annoying tags???
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Old 06-29-2010, 10:05 PM
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Can you copy it to Notepad or google docs or something? You can format it on one of those programs . . . Otherwise, doing it manually would probably be the only way?
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Old 06-30-2010, 04:58 AM
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The forum doesn't invent HTML tags and stick them into posts.

You could load the piece into Word and search and replace the tags. (I'd replace them with two paragraph marks)

Or you can put them in an html file, load it into a browser, the copy the displayed text by highlighting and copying.
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Old 06-30-2010, 07:26 AM
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How did you get the text into the post in the first place? I always create my documents in MS Word, then cut and paste here. There is sometimes minor editing to do afterward. For example, it removes indents and you need to put blank lines to separate paragraphs, but overall there are no funny codes embedded. How did you post yours?
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Old 06-30-2010, 09:52 AM
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If you originally wrote it in Word and copy/pasted, try adding an extra step. Copy from Word and paste into a bare-bones document like WordPad or Notepad. The barebones programs come standard with Windows, unlike MS Word that you have to buy and install; look for them in your Accessories folder. Anyway, pasting there will strip formatting. Then copy from there and paste into Writer's Beat.
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Old 06-30-2010, 10:04 AM
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Those font tags didn't come from word unless he saved it as a HTML document. In whcih case, just save it as anything else.
(I think he's pulling our leg)
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