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A Four Letter Word

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Old 08-12-2006, 02:13 PM
Kid B (Offline)
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Default A Four Letter Word


Ever since first grade,
Four letter words have fascinated me
Maybe because those were the only words
I could articulate at the time
Or maybe because using a four letter word
Made your point succint
If the kid next to you was tattling on you
You could call him a jerk, or a liar
Tell him his pants were on fire
I also threw the word fuck around quite a bit
Hoping that my classmates would repeat it
Got in trouble at home when I wrote it on the wall
With an invisible ink pen, wasn't invisible at all
My mother gasped and my father asked where I learned it
I told them there was an older kid slinging four letter words behind the cafeteria in school and he told me the first time I tried it
It was free, and the next time it wasn't, it would cost me
Sometimes I wonder if I had not been hooked on four letter words so young, how I would've turned out now
I never entered a rehab or an intensive outpatient four letter word clinic to curb my usage of it
It just slowly started to fade into obscurity, and show up when I needed it
The time I got hit by a car on my bike and started bleeding, I said shit
Time became an important four letter word for me
I understood how to enjoy it after spending many years wasting it
Debt became another four letter word for me to care
Finally understanding that all through life it won't go anywhere
But love was the four letter word that mystified and intrigued me
Thinking I was once in it, it was an illusion I seemed to believe
I never became a lovelorn skeptic naysayer who would scoff at other people's loving relationships that included a pet, a condo and matching jewelry
Instead I stopped looking for it and became at one with myself and the world around me
And then love showed up one night all unexpected and
out of breath, with sweat trickling off its brow
I couldn't understand how I could face it now
With old misconceptions and different perceptions of how it really is when you are in it
It paused and explained itself in a minute
And described itself as unconditional and infinite
I grabbed a hold of her hand knowing that this four letter word that countless musicians, artists and poets have been trying for centuries to explain to the masses
Was here to guide us like the light of a bright moon against a midnight blue sky
Love can make you cry, love can make you laugh
And certainly love can make you angry or sad
But most of all love is a four letter word
And because it's a four letter word, you shouldn't use it lightly

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Old 08-12-2006, 03:19 PM
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Hey kid B -
This feels pretty prosy still - maybe cutting back the words to get it clean - like the lines of a Porsche - beautiful, understated, classy - poetry!
Kit

Some poems can be like a hearse - clean lines but dark.
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Old 08-13-2006, 08:25 AM
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meh you are pretentious and dont understand poetry
comparing poetry to a porsche is like comparing sex to a hotel
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Old 08-13-2006, 02:29 PM
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woah Kid B, Kit was trying to give you some helpful advice here, that was uncalled for.

If you dont want an honest critique, don't put your work online.

And please watch how you talk to people.
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Old 08-13-2006, 03:45 PM
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You don't know how to take constructive criticism. With that said, all I have to say is that I read it and thought it lacked focus. You end with it being focused on love and making a sort of moral out of it, yet you take all that time to come to any sort of conclusion. Like a pinto put-putting along towards a gas station. Then again I am biased and pretentious and don't understand poetry at all
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Old 08-13-2006, 03:50 PM
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awsome
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Old 08-13-2006, 06:46 PM
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I can certainly take constructive criticism from folks online. I've done that for a few years at another website. Perhaps calling someone pretentious was a bit extreme, I don't know you as a fellow writer and don't understand your process like I do mine. Anyways, cheers and thanks for the glances.
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Old 08-14-2006, 03:01 AM
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Hey KidB
I was just using a metaphor to make a point with some light humor - no offense meant. I thought we got along all right in the review of your previous piece and therefore, assumed I could comment with a bit of jesting.

For future reference, I actually teach poetry workshops and do pretty well with my own poetry - what I get from your return comment is that I am not your target audience, since I do not find your poem to be well-crafted yet, and you, apparently, do.

No problem - just say what you are trying to do with your piece so readers will know whether their point of view may be helpful or a waste of their time.

Kit
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Old 08-14-2006, 06:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Kid B
meh you are pretentious and dont understand poetry
comparing poetry to a porsche is like comparing sex to a hotel
That's rude Kid B, and wasn't called for. If you are going to treat others this way it might be for the best if you go back to your other writing communities, cause we don't allow this here. Think before you press that button.
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Old 08-15-2006, 05:13 AM
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I'm going to ignore what you said to a very respected member of this community and staff and just focus on the poem. But be warned do it again and I will be merciless.

To me, this read lke prose with line breaks and if that's what you wanted; great! But to me it's not poetry. It needs to be condensed, the extra words or lines taken ut and your focus found. You could have a great thing going here but to behonest I think you're too lost in the fact you think you're a good poet to become one.
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Old 01-29-2013, 05:06 PM
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Four Letter Words to Consider:
-love
-hate
-envy
-hope
-wise
-free
-life
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sometimes they can be good, and have a postive influence, but sometimes they can be bad, and have a negative influence. Just be careful with the different words you use and make sure to be cautious and appropriate with the words you use at what time.
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