|Fiction Novel excerpts, short stories, etc.
07-23-2006, 11:20 AM
Let me introduce myself
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Bradenton, FL.
The rain thrashed against the roof, as if trying to gain entry by tearing the shingles from their bindings. The shear force of the aerial assault vibrated from the roof down through the timber walls of the cabin. While vast torrents ran down the smooth glass windows, distorting the scenery beyond.
The rain began shortly after Carrie had returned home from dropping her children off at school. Now fed up with the storm, she decided that if it didn’t let up soon, she would have to make a mad dash for the car. She couldn’t wait any longer. If she didn’t leave soon, school would let out and nobody would be there to pick up the children. And if it were raining in the valley as bad as it was on the mountain, the storm would drench the children by the time she arrived.
At twenty minutes after three, Carrie perceived a lull in the storm’s intensity and decided that if she had to make a run for it now was the time. She grabbed her purse and keys and dashed out into to the damp mountain air. The rain had settled into a lazy spattering of large droplets that fell here and there, just enough to let anyone brave enough to escape from their arid shelters know that the storm was still very much alive.
Ten feet from the car, the rain’s lazy spattering increased to an energetic drizzle.
Carrie unlocked the door and quickly slipped inside. Seconds after starting the car, the thunderous drumming of rain prattling on the roof replaced the smooth hum of the idling engine. However, unlike the small almost imperceptive drops that had been falling most of the day, the rain now consisted of hefty blueberry sized behemoths that pounded the roof with an apocalyptic fury.
Carrie switched on the car’s wipers. But the deluge that struck the windshield was far more than the wipers could handle, even when set to their highest setting.
She leaned forward trying to see through the sheets of water that despite the wipers’ futile attempt to clear still obscured her view. Although however limited her vision, she was thankful for even the slightest bit of visibility provided by the wipers.
Struggling with her limited visibility, Carrie’s breath caught in her throat when a large object crashed down onto the road fifty feet in front of her, blocking the road.
Carrie squeezed the steering wheel. Her knuckles whitened with the force of her grip. She slammed her foot down on the brake pedal sending the car into violent, uncontrollable skid.
Her breath exploded painfully from her lungs in a throat-wrenching scream as the car spun out of control.
Green and grey flashes of scenery swirled around her. Disorienting her. Nauseating her.
When the spinning seemed like it was going to last for an eternity, the car came to a jolting stop. Her seatbelt tore fiercely at her collarbone. Bruising her pale skin in the process.
The engine stalled. The pounding rain continued.
Carrie unbuckled her seat belt and leaned back into the seat trying to catch her breath. Her heart pounded against her ribs. She covered her face with her trembling hands. Her fingers ached from her death-grip on the steering wheel. Tears flooded her eyes.
“Damn it. Damn it. Damn it,” Carrie cried, beating her hands painfully against the steering wheel.
Regaining her composer, Carrie began assessing her situation. The spinning car had come to a stop five feet from the object, which had caused her to lose control.
A large branch, downed by the storm, lay across the road. A green, leafy barricade between her and her waiting children.
She turned the key in the ignition and tried to start the car. The engine purred to life. She breathed a sigh of relief and put the car in gear, hoping it wasn’t stuck. With a slight spinning of the wheels, the car slowly advanced forward. She stopped the car once on the pavement and looked at the obstruction in the road through rain-streaked glass.
Although the branch was too large to drive over safely, Carrie believed the branch was small enough for her to drag it off the road by herself.
Carrie took a deep breath, threw open the door, and leaped from the car. Her body ached. She held her chin painfully to her chest to protect herself from the rain, grabbed the branch and dragged it towards the roadside. She’d realized immediately that she’d underestimated the size of the branch. She was barely able to move it. After several minutes, she managed to clear one lane of the road. It was enough. Someone else would have to finish the job she’d started.
Carrie jumped into the car, slamming the door on the downpour. Her body shivered uncontrollably. She switched on the heater to fight off the cold that seeped into her skin with the driving rain.
When the shivers subsided a few minutes later, she turned the heater off. Carrie removed her sodden sweater and immediately her skin began itch. It started with her arms and rapidly spread to her back. She figured the combination of her cold wet skin and the dry heat from the heater might account for the severity of the itching.
Not allowing the car to exceed ten miles per hour, she followed the winding road down into the valley. Keeping an eye out for falling branches. Her usual fifteen-minute drive had turned into a forty-five-minute nightmare. The storm seemed to have stalled out over the mountain sparing the valley and her children from its torrential assault.
By the time she pulled into the parking lot, most of her itching had stopped. Spotting her children standing quietly on the sidewalk waiting for their tardy mother, Carrie felt a pang of guilt for being late, even though it wasn’t entirely her fault. Most of the schoolchildren, picked up by their timely parents, were already gone.
When the car stopped, Cassie opened the front door and jumped in beside her mother. Jason, however, dropped into the backseat and slammed the door.
“Sorry, guys,” Carrie apologized.
“That’s ok, mommy,” Cassie said, swinging her legs that didn’t quite reach the floor. She smiled up at her mother.
“What took so gosh dang long?” Jason asked.
“I said I was sorry, and watch your mouth.”
“Fine,” Jason whined. “Do ya think ya could try to be on time tomorrow?”
“Jason, I don’t like your attitude young man, and frankly, I not in the mood for it either.”
Jason looked out the window tuning his mother out, as usual.
“Mommy, can I have Fruit Loops when we get home?”
“NOOooo, you know you can only have them for breakfast, young lady. Nice try.”
Giggling, Cassie covered her face with her hands.
Carrie leaned down and looked up at the mountain looming ahead of her. The top smothered in one hell of a dark cloud, was nothing like Carrie had ever seen.
As she started her ascent up the mountain, the rain began to fall again. She knew it had never really quit and she was just driving back into the storm. She switched on the wipers.
The itching that had spread to most of her body had completely vanished; however, a warm sensation filled the void the itching left behind. The pain in her bruised collarbone had eased as well.
Carrie glanced in the rearview mirror at her son and wondered what had happened that had made him so angry.
He’ll tell me when he’s ready, she thought. Although, she believed she already knew.
She slowed down when she came to the fallen branch. She looked at Jason in the rearview and watched him look at the branch. He looked back at it when they had passed and then looked at his mother in the rearview briefly meeting her gaze. For a brief moment, she’d thought he was going to apologize to her, but then he returned his gaze back out the window to the storm.
The remainder of the drive home was silent except for the pounding rain drumming on the roof and Cassie’s occasional chitter-chatter in the seat beside her.
By the time they arrived home, the storm had gained its momentum back and the worst of it drifted from the mountaintop and over the valley. The rain was finally over. However, a grey sky still hung threateningly above the mountain.
When she got out of the car, Carrie looked toward the sky. Something in the air didn’t feel quite right, as if the storms worst had yet to pass.
She rubbed her arms while gazing worriedly at the ominous sky. Her skin burned when touched. She looked nervously at her exposed skin. Large red blotches began to spread over her pale skin. Rubbing one of the blotches, she noticed it burned hotter the longer she touched it. When she removed her hand, the sensation quickly faded.
“Hello, Mom,” Jason yelled from the front door. Carrie startled by her son’s voice, looked at him confused. “The door, mom. It’s locked.”
Carrie fumbled nervously with the keys as she jogged to the door.
“What? Have you gone bonkers, mom?” Cassie asked, and then giggled.
Carrie unlocked the door and followed the children inside. Jason stormed off to his room as usual, before his mother could speak to him. Cassie ran to the TV, slinging her Little Mermaid backpack onto the sofa before collapsing on the floor in front of the television.
“Cassie, are you hungry honey?” She asked, walking into the kitchen.
“Can I have Fruit Loops?”
“Cassie,” Carrie said, her voice tainted slightly with irritation.
“I meant…can I have a sandwich?”
Carrie couldn’t help but laugh. Her concern for the blotches on her arms faded from her mind.
“What kind of sandwich do you want?”
“pea…nut but…ter and jel…lyy,” Cassie said, then erupted in a fit of giggles while rolling around on the floor in front of the TV.
Carrie went to the fridge and reached for the jelly.
“Little girl one of these days I’m gonna…Shit,” Carrie cried, her arm burning furiously when it came into contact with the cold air of the fridge.
“Oooh, Mommy you said a bad word.”
Carrie quickly grabbed the jelly and closed the door.
“Cassie please, not right now honey,” pleaded Carrie.
“I’m sorry mommy,” Cassie apologized.
“It’s ok, honey. Mommy’s just had a bad day.”
When she finished making the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, she placed it on a plate and carried it into the living room.
“Can I have a glass of milk, mommy?”
“I guess so,” Carrie said playfully, trying to make up for snapping at Cassie.
Carrie opened the refrigerator door and felt the red blotches on her arms begin to burn. She held her breath, thrust her arm inside and grabbed the milk jug as quickly as possible, and jerked it free from the fridge. Heat seared through her arm, nearly causing her to drop the jug.
She poured the remainder of the milk into the glass, relieved to see the jug was empty sparing her the agony of sticking her arm into the fridge. She tossed the empty jug into the trash and took Cassie’s milk to her.
“Here you go, honey.”
“Thanks mommy,” Cassie said, sitting her sandwich down on the plate and taking the glass from Carrie.
“Listen honey, mommy’s going to go lay down for awhile and when I get up we’ll play a game. Ok?”
“You going to lay down cause you had a bad day?”
“Yeah honey, I’m lying down ‘cause’ I had a bad day.”
“Ok, mommy,” Cassie said, turning her attention back to her sandwich and then to the TV.
Carrie leaned over and kissed the top of Cassie’s blond head before heading towards her bedroom.
Halfway down the hall, she stopped at Jason’s room, reached up with a fist to knock on the door, and hesitated. He probably wouldn’t talk to me anyway, she thought. Jason had barely spoken two words to her in the past two years since his father’s death.
Carrie’s mind drifted back to the day her life and the life of her kids had changed forever.
Steve and Jason had gone hunting the first day of deer season. Carrie begged Steve to stay home. “There’re too many accidents the first day. Everyone is so eager to shoot something no one bothers to check and see if what he is shooting at is even a deer. They just shoot anyway. If they’ve been drinking, nobody’s safe,” Carrie told Steve before he and Jason left. She pleaded with him to leave Jason home at least. But Jason started begging her to let him go, and she couldn’t refuse.
When the Sheriff knocked on the door, she knew immediately something bad had happened even before she answered. Carrie sensed things like that from time to time. When she opened the door, she felt a slight sense of relief when she’d seen Jason standing behind the sheriff with tears streaming down his face. At least Jason had come home safely.
Steve had been sitting against a tree waiting for a deer. Jason was sitting at a tree several yards away, holding his rifle with the stock resting on the ground. When he leaned over to his left reaching for his canteen, his rifle slipped and before Jason could catch it, it was too late. The shot echoed off the mountain and through Jason’s ears. He looked over at his father expecting Steve to be furious with him. However, his father, with his bottom still seated firmly next to the tree, slumped over to his right side.
Jason cried out to his father and ran to him. But it was too late. When he looked down at his father, he dropped to his knees and vomited. The .30-.30 Winchester round had struck his father two inches above his left ear, showering the contents of Steve’s skull onto the ground to his right. Jason’s screams alerted another hunter who used his cell phone to call 911. Jason had never been the same.
Hot tears running down her face brought Carrie back to the present.
Before walking away, she opened her fist and placed the palm of her hand on the door, as if the gesture would transmit her love for him through the door. And then walked silently towards her bedroom wiping the tears from her cheeks.
She closed the door to her bedroom and laid down, kicking her shoes off the end of the bed.
“Why Steve? Why did you have to go hunting?”
Carrie put her hands over her face as the tears began to flow. If Steve had stayed home like she’d asked, her life would be different. She wouldn’t be alone, Cassie would remember her father, and Jason…. Poor Jason wouldn’t suffer the agony of constantly reliving his father’s death.
Exhausted by the day’s events and drained emotionally, Carrie faded into unconsciousness and soon found herself in a strange world, unlike anything she’d ever seen. Everywhere she looked, stone mountains rose to astronomical heights. Green gaseous clouds circled their peaks. Yellow smog barely allowed a view of two moons moving swiftly across the sky.
Strange lizard like beast flew through the stagnant air on leathery wings similar to those of bats, only instead of light and delicate they looked meaty and strong. Pulsing veins laced their bodies like throbbing highways running everywhere but leading nowhere.
The ability of the hot, stagnant air to sustain life was a miracle. Carrie choked on it as if trying to breathe while immersed in warm Jello. The beasts, flying through the thick air, seemed to be smiling at her with what seemed to be alligator type snouts, only the beast’s snouts were half the size of their earthly counterparts. She turned away and began to run. However, as she ran one of the beasts swooped through the air smiling, definitely smiling, at her with wicked intentions drawn clearly about its face.
Carrie bolted up right in her bed sweating, burning, and itching simultaneously. She looked at her arms. Large blisters pulsated violently as if something was trying to escape from under her skin. Some had even erupted, spilling yellow ooze like a volcano spilling its lava down its sides. Hot burning tears spilled from her eyes as the horror of the situation began to take hold.
Carrie quickly picked up the phone and dialed 911, but only silence answered. The phone was dead.
Her lips quivered with fear. Small childlike cries were the only sound she could manage. She leaped from the bed and ran into the master bath. Turning on the water, she stuck her arms under the faucet. The warm water washed away the yellow ooze to reveal large dime sized craters forming where blisters had burst. She thought she saw what appeared to be small worms or some other kind of parasite squirming deep inside a few of the wounds. The rain. They must’ve been in the rain, she thought. Fear flooded her mind. Panic took over.
She held her arms up in front of her face in disbelief. She felt a warm stream run down her inner thighs. The red blotches spread to her neck, and from what she could see they’d already begun to blister.
She pulled her shirt over her head to inspect the rest of her body, bursting some of the newly formed blisters on her neck. The redness quickened its migration towards her face, and at the same time traveled down her body and disappeared under the waistband of her jeans. Blisters on her chest burst. Yellow ooze ran down her chest and dripped spastically from the underbelly of her breast.
Carrie unbuttoned her jeans and jerked them down taking her yellow stained panties with them.
Completely naked, she turned and stared in horror at her image in the full-length mirror that hung on the back of the bathroom door. The redness was rapidly spreading over the rest of her body. The puss-filled blisters developed and burst almost instantaneously, as if her skin were boiling.
Fear erupted from her throat in a choked scream. The stench, steadily rising from the puss pooling on the bathroom floor, caused her to vomit.
A long stream of yellow ooze erupted from her mouth. The foulness of it caused her to retch again. She turned to the sink and splashed water into her mouth trying to wash out the taste. A blend of puss, saliva, and blood drained from her mouth, along with her teeth. She looked into the mirror and cried out in fear when she noticed the sharp needle like teeth that had tore through her gums.
Pain shot through her jaw stifling her screams. Her face from her nose down to her chin began to distort, as if something to large to escape her mouth was trying to break free. Then she heard a sound like bones, maybe teeth, crunching against each other, just before her jaws began to push forward. She stared into the mirror in disbelief. Finally, the screams that had been dammed up in her throat while her mouth was transforming into the hideous version of an alligator snout, exploded from what used to be her mouth. Only the screams were no longer human.
Carrie, slipping in the puddle of ooze, jumped into the shower. Fumbling with the knobs, she turned on the water, grabbed a washcloth and soap, and began scrubbing her body fiercely trying to remove the stinking filth from her body.
She scrubbed her arms with such intensity that long strands of flesh peeled from her body. Her cries intensified. Insane with the horror of the situation, Carrie scrubbed harder, tearing more flesh from her body exposing dark green reptilian skin beneath.
After several minutes, the water running down the shower drain began to run clear, the puss and blood ceased to flow from what was left of her ruined body.
Severely exhausted from her ordeal, she sank to the bottom of the shower and cried hysterically, oblivious to the torn flesh that had gathered in the shower bottom.
She climbed out of the shower, trembling with uncontrollable sobs. She avoided her image in the mirror and stumbled into the bedroom.
Halfway to the bed, a searing pain worse than anything she’d ever experienced, childbirth included, exploded between her shoulder blades. She fell to her hands and knees in extreme agony.
“Oh, God,” she cried out, in an inhuman like voice. She arched her back involuntarily as the pain increased ten fold. A large hump swelled between her shoulder blades. “Help…me…pl…” her plea stuck in her throat. Her back arched more violently. The sounds of flesh and muscle tearing and bones snapping filled the room.
Her fear and pain so extreme, she was oblivious to the banging on the bedroom door and her children’s frantic cries.
She fell forward onto her stomach and lay there trying to catch her breath.
When she was able to breathe again, she got back onto her hands and knees trying to gather the strength to stand. Her pain had all but vanished. She stood slowly. Unsteady at first, as if she were top-heavy. Carrie felt her consciousness vanishing. The parasites, they’re eating at my brain, she thought.
She fought desperately to cling to what was left of her mind. Her very being. But with every second that passed, her mind, swallowed up cell by cell by the parasites, continued to vanish until she felt like she barely existed at all. Then nothing. She was gone.
Still oblivious to the banging on the door, the beast that had consumed Carrie from the inside out shrank back away from the door as it burst open.
Jason kicked the door with all the force he could muster. The door, nearly splitting in two from the force of the impact, struck the wall with a thunderous crash. But even before the door struck the wall, Jason saw the beast standing by his mother’s bed. Cassie, standing safely behind her older brother, leaned around him searching for her mother. Her scream pierced Jason’s ears with such intensity he first thought it came from the beast itself.
Then, as if it were reading Jason’s mind, the beast released a harrowing shriek and unfurled thick veined wings at least twelve feet in length from wingtip to wingtip. The thick veins from the wings paved their way across the beast’s body and then began to pulse with such intensity Jason thought they would burst.
Not taking his eyes off the beast, Jason leaned into the room long enough to grab the doorknob. Briefly, before slamming the door, a moment of recognition washed over him. He could feel his heart break into pieces. Even though the beast in his mother’s room bore no resemblance to anything close to human, Jason had seen his mother’s eyes staring back at him.
“Jason, we have to get mommy, before that thing gets her,” Cassie screamed.
“Shut up, and come on,” Jason yelled, grabbing Cassie’s small hand as he turned and ran down the hall towards his bedroom. He barely shut his bedroom door before the door to his mother’s room exploded into splinters showering down the hall.
Jason engaged the lock and dragged his dresser in front of the door. The clicking of claws on the floor of the hallway floor announced the beasts’ arrival. Jason whirled around and joined his frightened sister on the bed. Both sat in horrified silence and listened as the beast passed the door.
“Jason, we have to…to…get mom…my,” she sobbed.
“Shut up, Cassie. I have to think.”
“I said shut up, damn it. I have to think.”
Immediately a pain of guilt stabbed his heart and he regretted yelling at his sister. He put his arms around Cassie and held her close. Cassie, her small body trembling with quiet sobs, put her arms around her big brother.
“I’m sorry Cassie. I’m sorry for everything. I know I haven’t been much of a brother since dad died, but I’m here now. I just have to think of what I have to do to save us.”
“We have…to get…mommy. That’s what we have…to do.”
“Cassie that was mommy. You know it as well as I do.”
“Don’t say that Jason Allen. Don’t ever say that again.”
“Cassie, it was her. I saw its eyes, mom’s eyes. I don’t know what happened, but I do know it was mom. At least it used to be her. It isn’t anymore.”
Cassie held her brother in silence. She’d known it was her mother the instant she’d seen it. Her mother was the only one with eyes like that. Only the eyes that love once poured from now dripped with a venom of pure hatred.
Jason’s mind spun. He had to get them out of the house. He knew his mother would never harm him or Cassie, but this thing wasn’t their mother anymore.
“Cassie, listen to me. We have to get out of the house. I need you to be strong for me and do as I say, Ok?”
Cassie nodded, her body still trembling.
Jason got off the bed, tiptoed to the door, and listened. He heard the clicking of the beast’s claws on the linoleum floor in the kitchen.
“She’s…it’s in the kitchen. I have to get to mom and dad’s room. I need to get one of dad’s guns.”
“NOOooo Jason, you can’t shoot mommy.”
“Cassie, it isn’t mommy any more, remember?”
Cassie grabbed Jason’s pillow, hugged it to her belly, and cried.
“Cassie I want you to get under my bed and stay there until I tell you to come out. Do you understand?”
Cassie, still sobbing, nodded and slid off the bed. When she disappeared under the bed, her small trembling hand came out and slowly pulled the pillow she’d been holding under with her.
Jason slid the dresser back to its original position and stuck his ear to the door. The clicking of the beast’s claws still sounded as if it were in the kitchen. However, Jason wasn’t entirely sure.
He unlocked the door as quietly as he could and opened it an inch or two. He couldn’t see the beast itself, but he could see its shadow cast by the kitchen lights on the living room floor.
Relieved that it was still in the kitchen, Jason slowly opened the door and entered the hallway. He glanced towards the kitchen, locked his bedroom door, and closed it behind him. He edged his way towards his mother’s bedroom trying to avoid tripping over the remains of the splintered door as he went.
The clicking of claws suddenly seemed closer. He turned to look down the hall and slipped in the splinters covering the floor. His body slammed violently onto the floor of his mother’s room.
He lay still holding his breath, listening. He could hear movement in the kitchen coming closer. He got back to his feet as quickly as he could and ran towards the bedroom not caring about making noise any longer. He had to get one of the guns before it returned. He had to.
An angry shriek from the kitchen indicated that the beast had heard his commotion and would quickly come after him. He ran to the closet, slid one of the louvered doors open, and jumped inside pulling the door closed behind him, ripping several of his mother’s dresses off their hangers in the process.
The beast shrieked as it entered the bedroom.
Jason peered through the slits in the door. He didn’t have the best view of the room, but it was enough to see the beast. He held his breath. The beast walked cautiously around the room hunting for Jason.
Jason fell back when it took a step towards the closet. He quickly pulled a few of the fallen dresses over him incase the beast opened the door. Maybe it wouldn’t see him if it searched the closet.
Jason lay in silence, taking shallow breaths. Tears flooded his eyes. His mother’s scent still strong on the dresses reminded him of a time long ago before his father’s death when he and his mother were close. After his father died, he tried to distance himself from her to protect himself from being hurt if anything ever happened to her. It hadn’t worked. In fact, he only felt worse because of the way he’d treated her. He barely even spoke to her in the past two years, even though it had killed him.
The sound of claws scraping against the closet door brought him back to reality. Jason scrunched into a ball, making himself smaller, less visible. But the scratching stopped and he saw the beast move away from the closet. He let out his breath slowly. Not realizing he’d been holding it.
Hearing the clicking of claws on the bathroom floor, Jason searched for one of his father’s guns. Nothing. He couldn’t find his father’s rifles anywhere. His mother must’ve gotten rid of them soon after is father’s death. There was only one other gun in the house that he knew for sure would be there. The one his mother kept in the nightstand by her bed.
A loud crash, followed by the sound of breaking glass, erupted from the bathroom. The beast cried out in either pain or anger. When everything was quiet again, Jason heard his sister cry out from his room, and from outside somewhere far away came another cry similar to that of the beast in the bathroom. Apparently, there were more beasts on the mountain. Hell, maybe even the world, Jason thought.
“Shit.” He mouthed. Shut up, Cassie, he yelled inside his mind.
Jason knew the beast heard Cassie and the cry of the other beast when it literally flew passed the closet. He heard its wings flapping loudly as it flew by. He hoped that it would fly right out the front door. Then the clicking of claws on the hardwood floors of the hallway floated into the bedroom and into the closet. Maybe it doesn’t know where she is, Jason thought. An even worse thought pushed the previous one from his mind. What if Cassie came looking for him? I have to get that damn gun, he thought.
He slid the door open and crawled out of the closet keeping an eye on the bedroom door. Apparently, it didn’t know where Cassie was because it passed his room and went directly into the living room. He passed the door quickly and fell between the bed and the wall. Knowing the beast couldn’t see him if it entered the room, he relaxed there for a minute to catch his breath. For the first time he noticed the stench coming from the bathroom. He nearly gagged, but stopped himself before he vomited.
Jason raised his head and peeked over the edge of the bed towards the door. Seeing nothing, he crawled over to the nightstand and slid the drawer out. Glancing back towards the door once more, he reached into the drawer.
His hand landed immediately on the cold steel of the gun. He pulled it out and dropped down onto his back. He inspected the gun. A baby Desert Eagle .45 caliber semi-automatic. His stomach knotted. The clip was missing. He heard the clicking of claws in the hallway rapidly approaching the bedroom.
He laid still on his back holding the unloaded gun with both hands ready to fire as if he felt safer just holding it.
The brushing of wings on the doorframe announced the beast’s arrival.
Jason listened for its claws on the bathroom floor. Nothing but silence. Gosh dang carpet, he thought.
He squeezed closer to the bed when he felt it move beside him. Jason wiggled under the bed. But just as he was fully under it, he noticed that the drawer was still open. He hoped it would think anything of it.
The bed suddenly took on the full weight of the beast and Jason knew it was looking for him where he’d been hiding. He kept his eye on the drawer as if trying to will the seven-round magazine to fly magically out of the drawer.
A scaly claw reached out to the drawer. Jason held his breath. With a thunderous crash, the beast slammed its fists down onto the opened drawer. Splintering the wooden box, causing the nightstand to topple over. It must’ve sensed he’d taken the gun, just as his mother used to sense things.
The sound of wings exiting the room eased Jason’s nerves, until he heard the beast bang against his bedroom door. Cassie screamed.
He rolled out from under the bed and searched the ruins of the nightstand for the pistols magazine. He had to find it before the beast busted his door down and killed Cassie. He moved the broken lamp that fell with the nightstand out of his way. Jason sighed with relief. The pistol’s magazine was under the lamp.
He scooped it up and slammed it into the gun’s grip. Once it clicked into place, he held it up and pulled the slide back chambering a .45 caliber round into the gun’s breach. His father had shown him how to use it before he died just incase he ever had to protect himself. Jason never thought he would be using it against his mother, at least what used to be his mother.
Jason released the safety and stood up, a little more confident now that he had the desert eagle.
He walked slowly towards the bedroom door. He could still hear Cassie and the beast screaming, and the beast pounding on the door. When he came to his mother’s bedroom door, he leaned his back against the wall, took a deep breath, and swung around the doorframe bringing the gun up as he went.
The beast stopped its assault on the door and turned to face him. Jason froze.
A small guttural voice, full of pain and despair, escaped the beast’s mouth.
“Kill it, honey. Before it gets Cassie,” said the voice. His mother’s voice. Even when spoken through the beast’s distorted larynx, he could recognize his mother’s voice. She was still there. Somewhere. A least for now.
Jason lowered the gun and fresh tears rolled down his cheek.
“I can’t do it, mom.”
“You have to. For Cassie…and…for me,” his mother’s voice said.
Jason raised the gun, wiped his tears on his sleeve, and aimed the gun at the beast as it resumed its assault on the door.
“Forgive me, mom. I love you. I always have.”
The beast turned its head while still clawing at the door.
“I…love you…too son. Tell…Cas…sie mom…my loves…her,” she said. As his mother’s voice faded away, Jason knew that the rest of his mother had finally faded away forever. His mother was gone.
When the beast turned its face back to the door, Jason knew his mother had vanished. The beast had assimilated her completely. His mother would no longer be able to keep it from tearing through his bedroom door as it had his mother’s earlier.
The gun thundered and bucked violently in his hands. The beast spun away from the door as the .45 caliber round slammed into it. It screamed in agony. Yellow ooze spilled out of a hole in its left wing. The beast’s fierce eyes focused on Jason.
He aimed the gun, closed his eyes, and pulled the trigger repeatedly until he had fired the last bullet. When he finally stopped firing, he opened his eyes.
The beast lay on the floor at the end of the hallway, apparently knocked back several feet by the impact of the bullets. It lay still in a puddle of ooze, as dead as his father had been.
Jason kept the gun pointed at it even though he knew it was empty. He knocked on the bedroom door.
“Its ok Cassie, open the door. It’s dead.”
“Really?” Cassie asked, from the other side of the door.
With a small click, the door opened. Cassie’s eyes were red and puffy from crying. Tears streamed down her cheeks. He leaned down, hugged his sister close to him, and cried with her for several minutes. After they’d quit crying, Jason guided Cassie passed the beast that had consumed their mother, shielding her eyes from the grotesque sight.
After Jason had gathered some food from the kitchen and put it into Cassie’s Little Mermaid backpack, he led Cassie outside to the barn, were the horses whinnied nervously upon their arrival. When they had settled down among the hay and horses, Jason reached into the backpack and then handed Cassie a box of Fruit Loops and kissed his sister on her forehead. Cassie looked up at Jason, smiled slightly, and then opened the brightly colored box.
The barn was damp and smelled of manure and fruity cereal, but Jason felt safer out of the house and away from the corpse of the beast that used to be his mother. There they would stay until help arrived. If help arrived, Jason thought. The sound of leathery wings circled high above the barn. Then the rain began to fall.
Last edited by pugh7755; 07-23-2006 at 11:25 AM..
07-23-2006, 03:59 PM
Join Date: Jan 2006
Hi, pugh7755! I'm not going to comment on the content of your piece because I think it is more important for you to proofread your work in order to avoid incomplete sentences and various kinds of fragments and other dangling things that detract from your talent.
For example your, "Green and grey flashes of scenery swirled around her. Disorienting her. Nauseating her." can be rewritten so that you avoid incomplete sentences, and so on.
Within good lieth bad, within bad lieth good. --- Laotzu
Last edited by nevergrowup; 07-24-2006 at 01:08 AM..
Reason: my typing errors
07-31-2006, 04:56 PM
I Am My Own Master
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Manchester, the rainiest city in the UK
hehe... have you seen 'The Fly'?
Only one major point here - there seemed to be no real reason why Carrie morphs into the monster, which I feel makes the story a bit unsatisfying. It seems to be contact with the rain that causes it (?), but (I'm not explaining this well) why? - what is it about the storm that's so unnatural, or is it the storm or something else?
'Regaining her composer' - 'composure'
etc, etc - I agree with nevergrowup - try to avoid too many fragment sentences, they're alright for effect but only few and far between. If you drop a few, it'll tone down the sensationalist style, which makes for better reading - I promise it won't make the details of the story less effective.
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