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Armstrong

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  #1  
Old 09-27-2017, 09:10 AM
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I cannot remember, I do not recall
Climbing the air unbalanced
to stand wavering on the brink of a step,
anchoring to the earth in a moments pause
before the prod of discovery urged my first step.
I cannot remember this, I do not recall
my feet first feeling earth.

And yet, a strangers first step
Stirring the dust of a barren world
Fixed in comparison this unalterable deed.

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Last edited by kev; 10-07-2017 at 03:40 PM.. Reason: just seeing how it sits
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Old 09-28-2017, 02:37 PM
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The only thing I would question is the "how odd then" - not really so odd, as we are mostly far too young to recall. Maybe change that line for "and yet".

Nice flow to this Kev.
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Old 10-01-2017, 09:53 AM
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At times it takes awhile for something to sink in and accept that it sits better than what I had. Thanks Grace.
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Old 10-01-2017, 12:10 PM
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Originally Posted by kev View Post
At times it takes awhile for something to sink in and accept that it sits better than what I had. Thanks Grace.

Now I can't fault it.

But don't worry....someone will x
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Old 10-02-2017, 02:38 PM
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Old 10-04-2017, 08:45 AM
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this is really swell. little blurry towards the finish, though. i think it needs a recap. just trying to make it a standout. nice work, and great title.
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Old 10-04-2017, 10:27 AM
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Thanks chat....Though it's finished and won't be altered, but thanks for responding.
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Old 10-08-2017, 10:18 PM
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anytime.
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Old 10-23-2017, 03:19 AM
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I like it!
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Old 10-24-2017, 01:20 PM
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Thanks for the response Megan.
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