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Chiasmus - Airport

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  #1  
Old 04-05-2009, 11:18 AM
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Default Chiasmus - Airport


The symmetry of chiasmus appealed to me, so I tried to write something with it. This is about the airport.
------

There’s a strange camaraderie
in that mid-world stop...
poised between two places
people talk, yes
open their mouths to strangers.
Not here, not there, not yet
is a building full of gates
and shared experience.

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Old 04-05-2009, 04:11 PM
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I had to look up chiasmus. Your words make more sense to me now--crossing paths--but it's still too nuanced for my pea brain.
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Old 05-01-2009, 06:10 AM
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Hi Paco! Sorry for the late reply; I've been swamped with school recently and didn't see your post. (I've been sadly absent from the poetry forum altogether. I'll be back in a week or so.)

The chiasmus in this one is in the airport (people crossing paths), but it's also in the structure of the lines. Check out this thread for a more complete explanation. The basic idea was something like this:

camraderie (line 1) / shared experience (line 8)
mid-world stop (2) / building full of gates (7)
between two places (3) / not here, not there... (6)
people talk (4) / open their mouths (5)

Thanks for taking the time to comment!
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Old 06-16-2009, 12:14 PM
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I think this is a great poem. The message is expressed clearly through some great images, and on top of all that, it's a great example of a chiasmus -- a word I've never heard before, but it makes sense in the examples above in the forum and especially here.

I love the connection between lines 4 and 5. Going into it knowing it's a chiasmus sort of distracted me at first reading, but reading again, these lines just really stick out. Solid writing there.
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Old 06-16-2009, 01:46 PM
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Thanks Chalant! I'm one of those strange people who likes airports. It's like everybody there is in the same mental space: between two things, places, experiences. A cool sort of limbo.

Anyway, I'm glad you like it! I was actually in an airport when I wrote it. I said "okay, I'll try chiasmus."
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Old 11-30-2009, 06:49 PM
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Originally Posted by HoiLei View Post
It's like everybody there is in the same mental space: between two things, places, experiences. A cool sort of limbo.
ain't we all...

anyways, cool poem, I'm going to have to try this style, after I find some more examples online.
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Old 10-04-2012, 12:24 PM
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Super poem. I really liked it, especially after you explained the form. My own reaction, though, was a little disappointment at the words Shared experience. Even though that's what it is, the two words are put together so often and in a psychologyie-way that I wish there were other words fresher to use...
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Old 08-06-2014, 06:17 AM
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Good poem. I was just at the airport yesterday. Definetely got the vibe right. But I'm trying to understand what you meant by "Not here, not there, not yet". You mean that you have not arrived at the final destination yet?
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