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Loss of the Muse

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  #1  
Old 05-27-2014, 10:23 PM
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Default Loss of the Muse


Words of wonder are supposed to
Fall from my mouth,
Pour out of my mind and onto the screen,
Inked onto paper, and yet I'm here,
Waiting for the word-vomit that
Always seems to consume my life to
Rearrange itself into some kind of
Satisfactory structure that won't
Leave me feeling like a dumb-blonde or
Like I am helpless to stay silent.

They stare at me with
Wide eyes &
Gaping mouths, ears
Half open because one half of their brain is
Being distracted by the steady
Thump Thump Thumping of their favorite band,
Of their favorite rapper who strings together
Odes to molly and money, bitches and ho's (apparently
there's a difference)

And here we are, my
Brothers and Sisters,
Slaves to words that build up inside of our
Heads like steam in a tea kettle,
Threatening to throttle our brains if we
Don't let them out;
Silently hating the fact that we write,
Write in the face of Writers Block-
While others chant about
Molly, money, bitches and ho's,
And soar,
Floating happily on the wings of the Successful.

And yet....
Here we are, giving into those words yet again,
Letting them out of our heads to roam around until
We discover just the right time, just the right way,
To let them out, to
Stain the page.

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Old 05-28-2014, 08:28 AM
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I like this work. It's so sweet, but have you considered trying to make it into a spoken word? It seems to flow that way for me.
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Old 05-28-2014, 12:35 PM
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love the "juxtaposition" of the thump thump thump mindless commercial music machine and the search for poetics. yeah, a lot of the main commercially-viable music market went "slack" sometime in the '80s.

rock bands used to (more often) create their own sonic-scapes and musical journeys, funk outfits like p-funk used to (more often) create alternate funky universes dedicated to on the one. reggae used to (more often) jam the uplifting anti-tribal war (gangbanging) message ... and then it all slipped largely into "bitches, hos and gettin' paid." or something like that. but i digress ...

enjoyed the read.
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Old 05-29-2014, 03:53 AM
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I like this alot!. I really can't say why, maybe it's just honest?
Either way I love the theme, writers-block is a sticky thorn.
You, my dear do not have the block, keep writting!

On sugesstion, did you ever consider making the stanza's shorter?, it might have more impact that way IMO.

Good Work!
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Old 05-29-2014, 07:20 AM
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I had writers block last week. It was terrible.
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Old 05-30-2014, 07:01 AM
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Same thing happens to me Madeline. Whats the worst is when I have a REALLY good line, then the block sets in, and all I have is a really good line.
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Old 08-14-2017, 10:49 PM
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Hi there! I actually always read my poems out loud. I find that I can better feel them out and make sure that they flow they way that I want them to. I definitely agree with you, that this honestly sounds better to me when spoken aloud

Thanks!
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Old 10-23-2017, 02:42 AM
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I seldom write poetry, I like prose more ... but you correctly noticed about rereading the poems out loud... By the way, how do you draw inspiration? Sometimes I have a creative crisis and it seems to me that I will never be able to write anything else ...
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