Ol man's rant - sexual stereotypes

recent events call this to mind


From the beginning of human history, men and women have made generalizations about each other. Part of this stereotyping was and is about power and part an attempt to make sense of relationships essential to the continuation of the species. It is clear that by enlarge we are drawn to each other even though there is enough conflict to have coined the phrase - battle of the sexes.

With the development of the modern Women’s Liberation Movement it seems the battle has been escalating. Long term sexual roles not only have been questioned they have been characterized as the willful effort of one sex to dominate the other.

This thinking helps no one.

In order for relationships to change for the better, everyone needs to grow up. No more socially acceptable "bad boys" or simpering eternal "Princesses" up on pedestals. If true equality is what society really desires, then both sexes are going to have to give up some of their sacred cows.

Women being the weaker sex - an outdated concept and unless you were talking about average physical strength - clearly not true. As far a durability goes, women tend to outlive men (although that is changing in our time). Women can do just about anything a man can do or needs to do in our world. So ladies first, take my seat, I’ll pay for that, etc. unless a matter of being polite to any one, have to go. You are now the majority.

Men being portrayed as unfeeling neanderthals who refuse to grow up has to go, as well. The evidence does not support this generalization. Men tend to worry about all the things women do but society identifies them as weak if they share them. Men have to be more open and let the chips fall where they may.

If members of either sex refuses to give up the stereotypes they were taught when children, they are doomed to be prisoners of them. Oh, they are comfortable but they do control what a person can do or become. Advertising and every kind of media reinforce and use stereotypes to keep us unhappy with our selves and sell us products to emulate who we are supposed to be.

Women who are worried about being sexual objects have to stop dressing and acting in ways that reinforce that image. That means truly giving up the desire to be the woman that uses sexual mirage to get what she wants from a man. Hard to do when your whole childhood was about how cute you were just before you got what ever you wanted. To stop that thinking and behavior means entering a brave new world.

Men who were taught to be brutal and insensitive, to "kill the opposing team" , to man up, be brave and to hide what ever feelings you have - must stop being voluntary slobs, predictably selfish and don’t help out around the house - do your share.

Women stop seeking dark and dangerous men, look for partners and best friends. While men should openly want strength and character not sexy and sleazy.


"Oh, I can’t help what I want."

Well then, you will probably get what you seek and for God’s sake stop complaining when the result of getting what you want is horrible.

Attractiveness is in the mind and heart of the perceiver. If you want to change the world examine what you want out of life - then your definition of what is attractive will likely change. Stereotypes operate on the principal of supply and demand. What people of both sexes want will identify to their opposites what they need to be. Societies have been built on and destroyed by no less.

There is no way to escape the responsibility we all share for the establishment and continuance of stereotypes. Its up to us all. We decide by what we value what we will have in the end.

[Myers]

I was drawn to this by your other piece...

I don't run into a lot women who use a sexual mirage to get what they want. But maybe we should require they wear Mao suits or burkas just in case?

And I know they are out there, but I also don't see very many bad boys or women who are attracted to them. I think that probably applies to a relatively small segment of the population these days, outside of Happy Days reruns.

Do you live in trailer park by any chance?

Otherwise, good piece. A perfect blend of condescension, the cliche and the anachronistic.

Good job!

[brianpatrick]

Originally Posted by Myers

And I know they are out there, but I also don't see very many bad boys or women who are attracted to them!

Apparently you don't work in construction. 😀😀😀

[brianpatrick]

I didn't get past the first para of the piece. I don't think relationships are about power at all. I mean, unless you're a sociopath.

[Myers]

Originally Posted by brianpatrick

Apparently you don't work in construction. ������

Well, not exactly. I've worked for a commercial roofing company, a fence installer and landscaping company. I always got along well with everyone, but wasn't exactly taken into the fold.

But I know what you mean. I don't know how to say it, but I guess there's a social and economic component to it.

Otherwise, there are immature men and there are the women who are attracted to them and/or who want to fix them because of their own issues, codependency etc. I think that's a rather specific thing not necessarily related to any bigger issues concerning how men and women in general get along or choose their partners.

There are some obvious truths in the piece. The irony is that it's about stereotypical gender roles, but it exaggerates and makes them so specific and applies them so generally, any relevance is lost.