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Sons Of The Fallen [Rough]

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Old 04-01-2010, 06:58 AM
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Icon7 Sons Of The Fallen [Rough]


Just an idea...nothing more than my imagination on paper. If you don't like it, offer helpful advice. Otherwise...please don't start a flamethrowing session.

Sons Of The Fallen [Draft]

(I realize I have some editing to do. I just wanted to get this posted quickly)

James Matthews was a happy young man...Seventeen years old, and satisfied with life, he had no reason to worry. Physically gifted and handsome beyond normal standards, He was very popular among his inner circle of friends, and had few enemies. With burning orange eyes, and dark brown hair, he had enchanted the girl of his dreams the first time they had met. Up to that point, He never had to fight for his life, or run away from an unseen force.

Until his eighteenth birthday.

It happened so fast....It was June 5th, and he was hosting the largest manhunt game ever. His whole neighborhood would be the playground, and the rules were simple. You make it from point A to point B without being taken out by the hunters. If you find a fellow runner, you must stay together, and avoid the hunters. There is minimal physical contact allowed, and if you can fight a hunter off, you are free to keep moving. If the hunter takes you down, you are out, and must walk back to base and wait.

"Easy enough right?" James asked after explaining the rules. The crowd nodded with enthusiasm as they awaited the assignment of teams. James' best friend Uriah stepped forward.
"I will lead the hunters." He said with a smirk. He was always a hunter. James felt a twinge of annoyance.
"No...I want you on my team." James said coolly. "Max...where are you max?" He said. A young man stepped forward. "There you are..I want you to lead the hunters." The boy smiled.
"Alright, How many hunters am I taking?" He asked.
"Take six." James told him.

Taking twelve runners, to include his best friend and love, Bridget, and her brother Uriah, who she called Uri, James led his team to the start line. The neighborhood was about four miles across, and the hunters would spread out and wait a minute before giving chase. James gave the same pretend war speech he always gave before playing manhunt with a large group.

"Alright men...and lady.." He said with a smile as he kissed Bridget Slater's hand. She was his unofficial girlfriend. "They are faster, stronger, and all around better than us. Yes...many of you will die. Some of us will never see the light of day again. Tonight we will be hunted, and it will be a bloody mess! I want all of you to look at the person next to you, and wish them luck... because we are about to begin the hunt!" He yelled with a smirk. "Are you ready!?"

"Yes!" The runners roared in unison. James smiled mischievously.
"Tonight! We bring hell to the hunters!" He roared back. "Now run! Run like the prey you are!" The runners took off, and James strolled along casually as Uri, walked up and slapped him on the back.
"Was the theatrical speech necessary?" He asked with a smirk. James loved him like a brother.
"Nope. But I was pretty good at it huh?" He said with a laugh. "Come on, the hunters will only wait a minute before charging."

By now his pack was ahead of him by alot. creeping through trees, and over fences. Totally violating people's property lines. But he wasn't worried, He and Uri sprinted across the neighborhood as if they were lost in the mood of the night.

"Full moon..." Uri said with a chuckle. "It's almost like we run faster under the light..." James laughed as he vaulted over a fence beside Uri. He had known Uri to be superstitious, but he wasn't sure if he meant what he said half the time.
"Haha, no...I'm just a physical beast." Said James, as he spun on his heel crouching with his hands bracing his shoulders for Uri to launch himself over a privacy fence. Landing on the other side he leaned against the fence whispering to James.
"Thanks for the boost. We need to split. Stay where we can communicate, but stay hidden. I saw two hunters coming from the side of the house at the end of the street." James leaned around the fence to see the two hunters splitting up coming in his direction.
"I see them...I'll take the one on the right." He said through the fence.
"Careful James...He's learning Aikido. He might hurt you." James laughed.
"Ok..." He said doubtfully. As he stepped out from behind the fence, he spotted two more hunters, he whispered to Uri. "There's four, not two...Why did they all come for us?" He asked. He quickly realized that Uri was gone.

So much for staying in contact...

James looked around for a moment hoping to see Uri somewhere, but he was nowhere to be found. He heard screams in the distance and assumed the hunters had caught up to the runners. He smiled to himself as he imagined them arguing over who was out and who was still safe. James sprinted across the street and rolled into a wall of bushes, he waited for almost an hour as he listened to the players get tagged out. He laughed at how dramatic their screams were. Then his eyes snapped to a moving figure.

A hunter?

The figure was Uri. How had he gotten so far away so fast? James signaled to his friend, but he seemed to already know where he was. James noticed a metallic scent in the air that made him...hungry?

Uri looked wet...

As Uri began to close the distance, James noticed that he was wet...infact, he noticed that the smell was coming from Uri.

Blood?

James gasped as he realized why Uri had seemed wet. He was drenched in blood. His mouth....the sudden scent of the blood seemed to make James feel alive. Like...and adrenalin rush. Then he felt a dull pain within.

"What happened!?" James screamed in a mixture of panic, and fear as he noticed the presence of a beastly feeling inside of him. Uri laughed weakly...

"I had to be sure..." He said. "I had to know I had found it." He looked up at James. His mouth was flecked with spittle, and caked in blood that had dried while trying to flee to the safety of his shirt. Almost as if he had been...drinking. Uri continued as James clutched his abdomen. "But it's you....none of them had the right aura...but I had hoped." James backed away cradling sides.

"What have you done Uri?" He asked frantically. Uri's expression turned to one of compassion. He stepped towards James, but halted as his friend roared at him. The sound was guttural and more of that which you might hear in a horror movie, as a massive monster roars in anger. Caught off guard by the inhuman roar, James began to cry silently. Uri hesitated, But he didn't seem afraid of James, He just smiled again.

"I'm sorry James...I should have known. I should have seen it in your eyes." He said. "I could have spared them..." James had begun to sway and groan. But his groans were increasingly beginning to sound like growls. Through gritted teeth he demanded answers...

"Tell...me...what the hell...you did..." He growled again. Straining to hold...something in. He didn't know what...but he knew he had to fight it. Uri began to walk towards him slowly. Gaining only inches at a time.

"I killed them." He said with a detatched smile. "I was only going to try one...I had to know if they were...different. But then, I needed to replenish my life source..." He continued. James looked at him as if he were insane. "It was glorious James...Oh I wish you could have seen it. The Fallen were there to watch. They told me I'm not like you. Your special...But I'm different they said." Uri was closing the distance as he spoke, and James was getting annoyed. "I'm...weaker." He said. He seemed to stumble over the word 'Weaker' As James looked into his pale eyes.

"Your insane..." James told him. Uri smiled.

"Am I?" He laughed. James dropped to his knees and looked up at Uri. "I am not crazy James...I am reborn. The Uri you knew is dead. I am Azrael...The Fallen said so." James stared into his old friend's cold eyes.

Are you even alive in there?

"What the hell is this...Who is the fallen?" James roared. He knew it was coming. He didn't know what, but he could feel it coming over him. Uri's mood shifted suddenly....

"Stop fighting it James...Bridget tried..and she's dead for it. Dont make her death seem so...useless." He said calmly. James was enraged to hear him speak so casually about a death he had known nothing about. A death that he now knew was Uri's fault. He felt the pain threshold break, and the relief washed over him. He felt his eyes burning, by the light of the moon, and his senses were more acute than he had ever known them to be.

"Uri..." He said. "I don't understand any of this...But I'm going to kill you for this...." James said with a shaky voice. Uri laughed, but then was gripped by fear. His eyes went black, and his voice merged with a dark presence.

"Release me.... " It said. James shivered upon hearing the alien voice. He somehow recognized it as an authority over him. "Release me so that I may serve.... " James was suddenly pushed over the edge of sanity. He felt his will snap. He felt his morals die. And he let the beast loose on the one person he hated most.

Uri...

James roared in anguish as he was sent to his knees. His dark hair draped over his downcast face, was dripping with sweat. He arched his back in an attempt to escape the pain, but it was useless. His hands clenched, scraping against the asphalt. With a bestial roar, his head whipped up and his eyes locked onto Uri. Suddenly his visage turned from one of pain to exhilarated excitement. Almost a madness. Black cracks appeared on his neck, reaching for his face. He lifted his head at an angle smiling at the full moon. Uri backed away cautiously.

"It's starting..." He said fearfully. James lurched to his feet grinning, his once perfect teeth were jagged fangs. His Canines extended down past the rest. Ripping at the air in an enraged frenzy, James shook his head and unleashed a frenzied roar. Then he began to rip at his flesh....

"RELEASE ME!!!!!!!" The alien voice was a sibilant screech, almost an amplified whisper.

James swung his arms from side to side, tearing away at his human skin, revealing dark fur. Almost fully transformed, His muscles began to swell, his face began to elongate and stretch until the skin ripped. Bones snapped as his body shifted, moving joints, and growing taller.

Uri began to walk towards James with obvious intent to attack. But instinct took over. James ripped his own face away, revealing a short muzzled face, with a muscular neck supporting a dark wolfish head. His ears perked up atop his head to pick up any sounds. He snarled at Uri and waited for him to get in range. His feet shifted as he got used to his new muscular form. His massive arms flexed as he tested his new clawed hands. Throwing his arms behind him, he leaned in and roared at Uri.

"I'm sorry..." Uri said as he launched himself at James. Inside his chaotic form, James was amazed by the speed at which his friend moved. He was almost...teleporting? But his senses picked up the movement, and a taloned hand snaked out, gripping Uri's neck.

"You will pay for this Uri..." James didn't even notice that he had projected his thoughts into Uri's mind. It might have seemed comical for a massive wolf to try and speak around those massive fangs. James began to curl his claws into the throat of his ex-friend. "You brought this on me Uri!" James echoed in his friend's mind. "You did this to me..."

"Call me Azrael..." Uri strained,as he went dark and drifted away in a blur of smoke....
[WIP]

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Last edited by Divine_Striker; 04-01-2010 at 07:13 AM.. Reason: Spotted some errors
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Old 04-01-2010, 10:58 AM
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Default Holy crap man.

Okay, ignoring the little missteps of First Draft Roughness, it's good. Really good for a draft, in fact.

The pace in the first third is perfect, and I particularly like how you set up their game. It reminds me of paintball without the weapons. Polish it up, though, we need more background and some world-building to get a sense of where we are and what we're doing there. It was jarring to be put right into the team-assignment after having the game described like it wasn't currently happening.

Once you have Uri disappear and James start noticing the blood, though, the story gets a little rushed and ahead of itself. I had to read a few lines multiple times to keep from getting lost, and Uri's comments are very vague. Honestly I have no clue what he's talking about with "I had to be sure..." Slow the action down a wee bit there, and don't skimp on descriptions.

Also, James is too intuitive about what Uri's been doing ("Drinking?") and why he's blood-soaked. At least, that's my interpretation of it. Think about how this might unfold with you and your best friend. You might get a silly hunch that he was drinking the blood and that's why it was all over his face, but you'd dismiss it pretty quick, right? People don't do that with blood. You might have a train of thought like "It looked like he'd been drinking sloppily, but.. No, that's ridiculous. What is he trying to do, be a vampire? Yeah, right."

My next bump in the the road here is how easily James is able to detach from Uri. Apparently they are solid friends, since James loves him "like a brother," so it's not believable for me as a reader to follow James' train of thought in wanting so much vengeance against Uri. Since he is still James inside, and his thoughts are still coherently human, there should be way more inner conflict and even concern regarding what on earth happened to Uri. Maybe his mind tries to fight the physical urge to destroy the nemesis before him, but his new body is too strong to control.

There's a lot of mental and emotional cards you can play with the last third of the story. Confusion, anger, frustration, heartbreak (his girlfriend got killed, why didn't you exploit the crap out of that?)... it's all there waiting to be tinkered with, and readers will appreciate getting inside of James' head a lot with what he's trying to wrestle with.

Anyway, that's my two cents. Great start, you hit the ground running with this.
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Old 04-01-2010, 11:32 AM
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=] Thanks. I knew something was missing. I'll do my best to make the improvements you described.
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Old 04-01-2010, 01:44 PM
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Not much difference, but I hope you notice some changes. I'd appreciate help with the proofreading, as I am new, and I mostly just want to get my ideas across. Basically, I'm ignoring the formatting and all that good stuff. I just want to see if it's a gripping story. I'll worry about making it presentable when enough people can appreciate it. =]

[Rough Draft]

James Matthews was a happy young man...Seventeen years old, and satisfied with life, he had no reason to worry. Physically gifted and handsome beyond normal standards, He was very popular among his inner circle of friends, and had few enemies. With burning orange eyes, and dark brown hair, he had enchanted the girl of his dreams the first time they had met. Up to that point, He never had to fight for his life, or run away from an unseen force.

Until his eighteenth birthday.

It happened so fast....It was June 5th, and he was hosting the largest manhunt game ever. His whole neighborhood would be the playground, and the rules were simple. You make it from point A to point B without being taken out by the hunters. If you find a fellow runner, you must stay together, and avoid the hunters. There is minimal physical contact allowed, and if you can fight a hunter off, you are free to keep moving. If the hunter takes you down, you are out, and must walk back to base and wait.

"Easy enough right?" James asked after explaining the rules. The crowd nodded with enthusiasm as they awaited the assignment of teams. James' best friend Uriah stepped forward.
"I will lead the hunters." He said with a smirk. He was always a hunter. James felt a twinge of annoyance.
"No...I want you on my team." James said coolly. "Max...where are you max?" He said. A young man stepped forward. James had always liked him. At a distance anyway...he seemed likeable, he was strong, quick witted and confident. Good traits for a leader. "There you are..I want you to lead the hunters." James said. The boy smiled.
"Alright, How many hunters am I taking?" He asked.
"Take six." James told him.


James took a step back and waited patiently as Max chose his team.


“Alright, I need all of my senior track runners to step forward...” He said. “Come on, I know the seniors are here.” Max smiled as four young men stepped forward. They were built for speed, lean, and cut with definition. James nodded his satisfaction. The runners looked like Olympians about to go to war. Minus the armor...


This would be a fun game.


“Is that all you want? You can choose two more.” James said. Max seemed to realize he had miscounted. He expressed his apologies for slowing progress and chose two random hunters. James seemed happy with the team.


“All right...” he said as he walked along the line of twelve remaining teens. They would be his runners, he decided it was fair since there were four track runners after them. Well...they couldn't catch him anyway. He would carry the team if he had to. “The rest of you are with me, that means you Uri...” His friend Uri seemed unhappy with the rules, but he was oddly quiet today. In-fact, he looked depressed. He nodded and jogged around in a circle, ending with an unnecessary gainer.


Show off...



Taking his twelve runners, to include his love, Bridget, and her brother Uriah, who she also called Uri, James led his team to the start line. The neighborhood was about four miles across, and the hunters would spread out and wait a minute before giving chase. James gave the same pretend war speech he always gave before playing manhunt with a large group.


The scene was comical...in the background, it looked like a fantasy world. Adding to the effect of the speech. The sun was dipping below the horizon, and the moon was casting eery shadows mixed with softglow light. The surrounding neighborhood was built to look like an eighteenth century town, with a modern touch. Sherlock Holmes style houses with Cadillacs out front and hummers in the lots...James made the mood even better as he ranted on about war and nonsense.

"Alright men...and lady.." He said with a smile as he kissed Bridget Slater's hand. She was his unofficial girlfriend. "They are faster, stronger, and all around better than us. Yes...many of you will die. Some of us will never see the light of day again. Should you fall in battle tonight...you will be remembered.” A couple of snickers broke out among the ranks, but James stayed in character. “Enough of that! Or I'll have you discharged...Tonight we will be hunted, and it will be a bloody mess! I want all of you to look at the person next to you, and wish them luck... because we are about to begin the hunt!" He yelled with a smirk. "Are you ready!?"

"Yes!" The runners roared in unison. James smiled mischievously.
"Tonight! We bring hell to the hunters!" He roared back. "Now run! Run like the prey you are!" The runners took off, and James strolled along casually as Uri, walked up and slapped him on the back.
"Was the theatrical speech necessary?" He asked with a weak smirk. James loved him like a brother.
"Nope. But I was pretty good at it huh?" He said with a laugh. "Come on, the hunters will only wait a minute before charging."

By now his pack was ahead of him by alot. creeping through trees, and over fences. Totally violating people's property lines. But he wasn't worried, his parents were well known in the neighborhood, and owned a large portion of the surrounding land. No one minded if he used the neighborhood as his playground. He and Uri sprinted across the neighborhood as if they were lost in the mood of the night.

"Full moon..." Uri said with a chuckle. "It's almost like we run faster under the light..." James laughed as he vaulted over a fence beside Uri. He had known Uri to be superstitious, but he wasn't sure if he meant what he said half the time.
"Haha, no...I'm just a physical beast." Said James, as he spun on his heel and crouched with his hands locked for Uri to launch himself over a privacy fence. Landing on the other side Uri leaned against the fence whispering to James.
"Thanks for the boost. We need to split. Stay where we can communicate, but stay hidden. I saw two hunters coming from the side of the house at the end of the street." James leaned around the fence to see the two hunters splitting up coming in his direction.
"I see them...I'll take the one on the right." He said through the fence.
"Careful James...He's learning Aikido. He might hurt you." James laughed. Uri was really into the game. Almost like he believed it was real. What a funny guy.
"Ok..." James said doubtfully. As he stepped out from behind the fence, he spotted two more hunters, and whispered to Uri. "There's four, not two...Why did they all come for us?" He asked. He quickly realized that Uri was gone.

So much for staying in contact...

James ducked back behind the fence. He knew he would have to fight them off. If he got tagged out, his team would lose.
He stepped out a ways to see what was going on. Two hunters were still coming for him, as he spotted Uri sprinting away with the other two on his trail. James took action and charged. He slid to a stop as he came around an old looking house. He saw a family having dinner at their table and remembered that he had to be home by ten. But he quickly forgot as a fist came rocketing towards him.


“Tag!” Yelled the attacker, But the shot never connected. James brushed the fist aside, and rolled the wrist, bringing the hunter to one knee.


“I said minimal contact, not full blown fighting.” James said calmly as he added pressure to the arm and tapped the hunter out. Remembering there was another hunter, he spun around to see the second guy swinging wildly at his back. He stepped in swiftly and caught the arm with his elbow. Turning into the attacker, he threw him over his shoulder, and ran on after Uri. He shouted back to the two hunters.


“When you can walk again, you have to go back to base!” He smiled as he heard them shout curses at him, and he ducked behind a bush.


“Where are you Uri...” James said to himself. He crept towards the street, under a fence and behind a custom built chopper. Tilting his head to the side, he noticed screams in the distance. “Haha, I guess Uri's not the only one who takes the game seriously...” He muttered. He stood cautiously and sprinted in the direction of the screams. He smiled as he imagined the team arguing over who was out and who was still safe.


It took almost ten minutes to reach the other side of the neighborhood, but James cut that time in half by going through the wooded area across the middle of the development. As he cleared the trees he shouted his challenge.


“I'm here everyone! Let the hunters come and try-” He was cut short as he realized he was the last man standing. The screams had been real...He stood in disbelief as he looked upon his team. They were all dead...most of them shredded. What had happened? He walked out of the wood line and stood in a field that laid in the middle of the massive circle of trees. His gut began to heave as he saw the death all around him. Even the hunters were mutilated. He fell to his knees for a moment and then lurched back up. He was horrified to find that he was more interested in how they had died, than he was concerned with why. Everyone was dead, and anyone who heard the screams would have thought it was part of the game. James wandered across the field avoiding all of the dead bodies who had been his friends moments ago. Then he saw movement.


Gurgling sounds and thumping filled his head... A heartbeat?


James walked over to the body and saw that it was Max. He had deep wound on his chest, all of which looked like they had been inflicted by some kind of animal. He ran over to the fallen boy and brushed his hair out of his face. He had never seen something so horrible – the tears flowed.


“What happened...” He asked. Max tried to speak, but his arterial bleeding made it nearly impossible. Spurts of blood coated James as the fountain of blood increased in pressure – max died with one barely audible gurgled word. James noticed that the thumping had suddenly stopped...


“You-ree...” James sat back in confusion...He wondered for a moment what Max had meant, when he saw a sudden movement in a tree across the field.


You-ree? He thought to himself. He stood with shaky legs and walked towards the figure. He reeled back as he got close, and the figure launched itslef up into a tree, dragging a corpse with it.


What is going on!?!? He screamed inwardly.


The figure was dark, almost alien. James wasn't sure if it was even real. All this was hitting him too fast to register. But then he saw the tell-tale signs of Bridget's jacket.


No...


James sprinted away from the wood line to the field. He had to make sure Bridget wasn't among the dead...He looked everywhere, completely forgetting about the dark figure. When he had looked at every dead body, he realized he wouldn't find her – he felt lost to the world...He turned towards the woods again, just in time to see something drop from the tree he had seen the figure in. Then it was gone – turning back towards the carnage, he saw something emerge from the woods from where he had come into the field earlier. It looked human...


James ran to meet the figure, but stopped when he realized who it was.


Max hadn't said you-ree...he had said Uri.

The figure was In-fact Uri. How had he managed to escape whatever happened here? James signaled to his friend, but he seemed to already see him. James noticed a metallic scent in the air that made him...hungry? He hadn't noticed it before, but he knew it had been there. Then he grew worried...

Uri looked wet...

As Uri began to close the distance, James noticed that he was wet...in-fact, he noticed that the smell was coming from Uri.

Blood?

James gasped as he realized why Uri had seemed wet. He was drenched in blood. His mouth....the sudden scent of the blood seemed to make James feel alive. Like...an adrenalin rush. Then he felt a dull pain within.

"Uri...what happened!?" James screamed in a mixture of panic, and fear as he noticed the presence of a beastly feeling inside of him. Uri laughed weakly...

“It was a mistake...” Uri muttered...”I was so confused...” He looked like he was dazed, and he fell to his knees. As soon as he fell, James noticed a full moon that had been hidden from his view by the passing clouds. His heart began to race...

"What have you done Uri?" He asked frantically. Uri's expression turned to one of compassion. He pushed himself to his feet and stepped towards James. He looked as if he might hug him, but halted as his friend turned away shielding himself with his arms and roared at him. The sound was guttural and more of that which you might hear in a horror movie, as a massive monster roars in anger. Caught off guard by his inhuman roar, James began to cry silently. Uri hesitated, But he didn't seem afraid of James, He just smiled again.

"I'm sorry James...I should have known. I should have seen it in your eyes." He said. "I could have spared them..." James had begun to sway and groan. But his groans were increasingly beginning to sound like growls. Through gritted teeth he demanded answers...

"Uri...what are you talking about..." He growled. Straining to hold...something in. He didn't know what...but he knew he had to fight it. Uri began to walk towards him slowly. Gaining only inches at a time.

"I killed them." He said with a detatched smile. "I had to get your attention. I had to wake the beast...”

"Your insane..." James told him. Uri smiled.

“No James...Not insane...” Uri murmured, as if he were in deep thought. Then he came to his senses and spoke more clearly. “This must be confusing for you...But don't worry. It will be over soon.” His eyes were dark and glazed...

Are you even alive in there?

"What the hell is this!?!?" James roared. He knew it was coming. He didn't know what, but he could feel it coming over him. Uri's mood shifted suddenly....

"Stop fighting it James...Bridget tried..and she's dead for it. Dont make her death seem so...useless." He said calmly. James was enraged to hear him speak so casually about a death he had known nothing about. A death that he now knew was Uri's fault. He felt the pain threshold break, and the relief washed over him. He felt his eyes burning, by the light of the moon, and his senses were more acute than he had ever known them to be.

“What is happening?!?!?” James screamed frantically. “Where is Bridget Uri!?!? What did you do to her?!?!” Uri seemed as if he were going to cry, but instead he laughed. How could he laugh....


James tried to stand but Uri back handed him, forcing him back to the ground – then he spoke – tilting his head to side, his eyes went jet black. His voice sounded demonic. Like a whisper amplified a thousand times. James stood, and started to back away slowly.

"Release me.... " Uri said.


James stared in horror, as Uri began to move in ghostly twitching movements.


“Release meee....” He moaned. Uri's voice broke through this time, and he seemed to regain focus. He took a moment to compose himself, and then continued.


“Sorry.” He said with a casual smile. “We've all got our...demons to deal with.” James tried to speak again, but was cut off. He felt the skin along his spine pulling tight, and he screamed the one name he hated most...

Uri...

James roared in anguish as he was sent to his knees. His dark hair draped over his downcast face, was dripping with sweat. He arched his back in an attempt to escape the pain, but it was useless. His hands clenched, digging into the soft earth. With a bestial roar, his head whipped up and his eyes locked onto Uri. Suddenly his visage turned from one of pain to exhilarated excitement. Almost a madness. Black cracks appeared on his neck, reaching for his face. He lifted his head at an angle smiling at the full moon. Uri backed away cautiously.

"It's starting..." He said fearfully. James lurched to his feet grinning, his once perfect teeth were jagged fangs. His Canines extended down past the rest. Ripping at the air in an enraged frenzy, James shook his head and unleashed a frenzied roar. Then he began to rip at his flesh....Uri went rigid, and spoke again.

"RELEASE ME!!!!!!!" The alien voice was a sibilant screech, almost an amplified whisper.


In his mind, James could feel almost feel and excitement. He was almost overjoyed at the prospect of something more than human ability. Yet he still had no understanding of what was happening. He rose slowly as he stared at his hands, watching them stretch, and grow long talons. Uri – doing his own weird thing – began to smoke.


“Release me!!!” Came the voice. Uri arched toward the sky, letting a horrific moan escape his lips. It reminded James of a hurricane. But he was too busy trying to figure out why his human skin felt like an annoying layer of extra clothing.

James swung his arms from side to side, tearing away at his human skin, revealing dark fur. Almost fully transformed, His muscles began to swell, his face began to elongate and stretch until the skin ripped. Bones snapped as his body shifted, moving joints, and growing taller.


Uri suddenly snapped his attention back to James. His eyes black, and cracked around the bone. James stared through his still human eyes for one last moment as his vision shifted from blurs of color, to sharp defined black and white with tints of yellow. He took a moment to make sure he was still sane...He remembered everything. He tried to speak but only succeeded in biting his tongue. Extending his claws, he looked around him, wondering if this was permanent, and what exactly had happened...Then he noticed Uri approaching.

Uri looked like death...And something in James' mind told him to attack. He was relieved to find that he had regained his moral conscious. He couldn't bring himself to attack with blind rage. But Uri seemed determined.

"I'm sorry..." Uri said as he launched himself at James. Inside his chaotic form, James was amazed by the speed at which his friend moved. He was almost...teleporting? But his senses picked up the movement, and a taloned hand snaked out, gripping Uri's neck.

"You will pay for this Uri..." James didn't even notice that he had projected his thoughts into Uri's mind. It might have seemed comical for a massive wolf to try and speak around those massive fangs. James began to curl his claws into the throat of his ex-friend. "You brought this on me Uri!" James echoed in his friend's mind. "You did this to me...Uriah..."

"Call me Azrael..." Uri strained, as he went dark and drifted away in a blur of smoke.... James roared, and ripped away his human face. His dark human hair slid away, revealing two pointed ears, perked up atop his wolfish head. His eyes were surrounded by rippling muscles that tapered down into a shortened snout, with protruding fangs. His neck was corded in muscle, and his shoulders were well rounded and pumped. His body was covered in dark fur, with hints of human skin...


[WIP]
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Though the sheep may fear me...I am the only one who can protect them from the wolves that will no doubt come against them.

Last edited by Divine_Striker; 04-01-2010 at 01:47 PM..
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