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Feedback for script - Fragments of a Broken Heart

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Old 09-20-2014, 01:54 AM
mmkp1990 (Offline)
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Default Feedback for script - Fragments of a Broken Heart


Hello, I am wondering if anyone can give me honest feedback on the first part of my script? 5 pages and I am hoping that I am heading towards the right direction.

Log line: A traditional animation feature length focusing on the survival, consequences and hardships two young siblings must endure after the death of their parents from a devastating tsunami.

You can access the PDF here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B32...it?usp=sharing

If anybody can point out certain sections I am going wrong regarding writing style, dialogue etc then it will be really helpful because it seems like I am still making novice mistakes and need more guidance.

Thank you


Last edited by mmkp1990; 09-22-2014 at 06:45 AM..
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