I'm Seeking an Agent/Business Partner

[Noitartst]

What I need is someone that can facilitate my vision; I write, plain and short, to make a difference, not money. I intend to make a lot of money, tut that is not my main purpose. My prose, poetry, and proposals are to make a difference, and not to make money through my works, they should be quite salable.

I want someone to work just as hard promoting my works as I do, making them; to that end, I'll go all out, and expect that someone else to to likewise.

I suppose I could manage work by the total output of words per week—4000, 5,000---but it may be best to do so per article, and per importance of said article, no matter how you slice it.

Any prospective partner will need to deal with these guidelines. We need to be realistic about what we both want, and why. We need to be compatible, and if we are, we should achieve great things.

Namely put, my values are conservative; I'm something of a devout, but at the same time, I'm very thoughtful. *I wish to challenge people with my ideas, and intend to find someone to help facilitate, that is as equally committed. *

Let's be clear: *I'm a creative guy, and I we're to get along, you need to enjoy chewing the fat with me, when I'm not actively working. *Do not expect me to promote myself--that's your job, primarily, and expect you to take it as seriously as I take mine. *

I am working on a musical, and have poems I want to transform into graphic novels, which I expect you to take the lead in. *Me, I will have the final say on all creative decisions.

That said, for money, I am willing to write outside my passions for the black stuff--you just find the gigs.

Also, we need *to develop a blog for me--once again, I write, you promote, i.e., find places to guest blog. *

But remember--my message is King, and it always will be. *

[daes13]

Nah man... See in my world, when a bitch out gettin' a pimp's money, she can be creative and shit, hell use some pop rocks while you give head, but the only thing I'm promotin' is five fingers across the face if I don't see my motherfuckin' money.

[Gaines]

Pay up sucka'

[brianpatrick]

You have the relationship backwards. First you have to prove your worth, and then someone may be willing to take a chance with an association/partnership. Anybody you find willing to enter into such an agreement now, will not be worth the drag.

I'm in the same boat.

I'm going to write some super amazing things and when I do, I want have an agent so I can hit the ground running!

Plus, I'm sure it's going to take a lot of time to vet all the candidates, so I need to start ASAP.

If you're a qualified and experienced agent, just PM me a list of the best-selling authors you are currently representing and we'll go from there.

Thank you in advance.

[Noitartst]

Doesn't help, much.

Thing is, I'm afraid I don't think I have the emotional or mental stability to launch this project, on my own. I crashed on my own and burned before, and I want someone in my corner to sock me in the face if I wuss out, and miss a deadline, or something.

Really, though, I don't respond to accountability; I respond to reciprocation, and commitment.

[brianpatrick]

Originally Posted by Noitartst

Doesn't help, much.

Thing is, I'm afraid I don't think I have the emotional or mental stability to launch this project, on my own. I crashed on my own and burned before, and I want someone in my corner to sock me in the face if I wuss out, and miss a deadline, or something.

Really, though, I don't respond to accountability; I respond to reciprocation, and commitment.

Have you tried a girlfriend?

[Gaines]

Originally Posted by brianpatrick

Have you tried a girlfriend?

They are not the most reliable of creatures. Best bet is to get a dog.

[daes13]

I have to agree with Gaines, I prefer dogs. They don't give me that look of utter disappointment and judgement when I fire one off in a minute...

Originally Posted by Noitartst

Really, though, I don't respond to accountability; I respond to reciprocation, and commitment.

What you're looking for is a babysitter.

Any profitable working relationship (or any worthwhile relationship, really) requires all three—accountability, reciprocation and commitment—on BOTH sides.

I suppose it's REMOTELY possible that if you're an author of amazing and staggering genius or if you have otherwise demonstrated that you can sell a whole lot of books, some agent might mollycoddle you and hold your feet to the fire. At least it used to work that way in the old days.

But like BP said, you have to FIRST write a book that people might want to read. And then you have go about finding an agent the same way everyone else does.

So you should probably take a little time to look into how all that works, because what you're proposing doesn't happen in the real world.

[daes13]

The way it works... Good point Binx. Well, if you're trying to get an agent for blog posts, short stories, or general writing-- forget it. Write a novel and then look for an agent. They aren't interested in your shorts. Now, if you make your own blog and have some success you may get a job offer to write for another blog, but that's up to your own skill. No one wants an employee or representee that needs to be coddled. Do some God Damned work! Otherwise you're just sitting around fingering your prostate whining that no one appreciates your work, and wondering why no one wants to represent you.

Represent yourself until your merit is clearly displayed, and maybe someone will come along and want the job.

[Devon]

What's with all of the asterisks inserted into the original post? What purpose do they serve? I kept looking for some disclaimer or something. . . .

[brianpatrick]

Originally Posted by daes13

Otherwise you're just sitting around fingering your prostate whining that no one appreciates your work.

I find it awfully hard to finger my own prostate. Is there a technique? I mean... How do you turn your hand backwards and still get the reach you need?

I think that idea is akin to the old joke, why does a dog lick his own bells (see Bagit <<< I edited that word so you don't have to👍😀👍😀

[daes13]

My arms are really long for my body... Plus, I do Ashtanga Yoga. I'm extremely flexible....