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A Ride in the City

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Old 05-06-2007, 09:57 AM
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Default A Ride in the City


But I love her” my friend said, while he was taking a turn to the left in the

car.

I know you do, and I know you want her badly, but I am sure there must be another way” I said with an assuring tone, although I knew there was no other way.

Listen I know there is no other way Jaz. It is just…” I felt the words stuck in his throat, I knew a tear was about to fall down. ” It is just… I am a good man you know, I swear I never did anything wrong, and all of what I want is to be with her man. You really do not know how it feels when you are about to lose someone you really love” He was wrong about that; I wanted to tell him that I know how it feels.

He then took a turn left and turned on the radio, and that was the signal telling that now a silence will fall, and the only voice that will be in the car is the singer’s.

A sad song came out of the radio.

He lit a cigarette and cracked the window, he wanted fresh air I could feel it. I knew he wanted to say more, I knew a lot was trapped in his chest, but sometimes saying nothing says it all.

My friend he is a good man, I really wonder why he has to go through this. I mean the guy is really hurt, whether it is a big matter or a small matter, it hurts him and that is enough for me to know that this is unfair. But again are not most of us paying for nothing fair?

We rode in the car in silence. We passed by a number of cafeslaying here and there. A new BMW M6 was standing on the side of the rode with two guys, and one girl seated in the back laughing. In front was a Hummer H2 with 3 girls playing with a dog. A new restaurant is under construction. Two kids were fighting in the street. A woman with a baby in her arms was trying to cross the street. A policeman was talking with a man in his car, and was looking at his driving licence. At the traffic light a young girl, pale in an outworn clothes, her face brown, and her hair was carelessly tied in a ponytail; she was begging a guy in a brand new Land Rover to buy some gum from her. Another two kids were sitting eating sandwiches on the street, taking by the light of a big restaurant.

My mobile phone shouted, announcing a new phone call. So my friend lowered the volume a little bit while I answered the phone, “Hey how you doing?… I am fine thanks… No I do not think I will be able to see you today… I cannot hear you… Oh no nothing, it is just that I am with my father and he wants my help in a few things… okay I will see you tomorrow… you too, goodbye.

My friend looked at me, I knew what he waned to ask, but I shocked my head and signed him to continue driving. He turned his face to the road and raised the volume.

He lit another cigarette. We passed the American Embassy, a soldier was talking to another soldier, apparently in despair, he was looking at the ground while talking next to the wall of the Embassy. The song continued to play.

Let us go home, let us go home” I said that with a sigh. I lit a cigarette and my friend drove home as the song continued to play.

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Old 05-17-2007, 02:08 PM
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Red are corrections.
Purple are the things that don't sound quite right to me.
The words in Blue, I think they should be together or one should be left out. Maybe?
Originally Posted by Jaz D View Post
But I love her,” my friend said, while he was taking a turn to the left in the

car.

I know you do, and I know you want her badly, but I am sure there must be another way,” I said with an assuring tone, although I knew there was no other way.

Listen, I know there is no other way Jaz. Its just…” I felt the words stuck in his throat, I knew a tear was about to fall down. ” Its just… I am a good man you know, I swear I never did anything wrong, and all of what I want is to be with her man. You really do not know how it feels when you are about to lose someone you really love” He was wrong about that I wanted to tell him that I know how it feels.

He then took a left turn and turned on the radio, and that was the signal telling that now a silence will fall, and the only voice that will be in the car is the singer’s.

A sad song came out of the radio.

He lit a cigarette and cracked the window, he wanted fresh air I could feel it. I knew he wanted to say more, I knew a lot was trapped in his chest, but sometimes saying nothing says it all.

My friend he is a good man, I really wonder why he has to go through this. I mean the guy is really hurt, whether it is a big matter or a small matter, it hurts him and that is enough for me to know that this is unfair. But again arent most of us paying for nothing fair?

We rode in the car in silence. We passed by a number of caslaying here and there. A new BMW M6 was standing on the side of the rode with two guys, and one girl seated in the back laughing. In front was a Hummer H2 with 3 girls playing with a dog. A new restaurant was under construction. Two kids were fighting in the street. A woman with a baby in her arms was trying to cross the street. A policeman was talking with a man in his car, and was looking at his driving licence. At the traffic light a young girl, pale in an outworn clothes, her face brown, and her hair was carelessly tied in a ponytail; she was begging a guy in a brand new Land Rover to buy some gum from her. Another Two kids were sitting eating sandwiches on the street, taking by the light of a big restaurant.

My mobile phone shouted, announcing a new phone call. So my friend lowered the volume a little bit while I answered the phoneHey how you doing?… I am fine thanks… No I dont think Ill be able to see you today… I cant hear you… Oh no nothing, its just that Im with my father and he wants my help in with a few things… okay Ill see you tomorrow… you too, goodbye.

My friend looked at me, I knew what he wanted to ask, but I shooked my head and signed him to continue driving. He turned to face the road and raised the volume.

He lit another cigarette. We passed the American Embassy, a soldier was talking to another soldier, apparently in despair, he was looking at the ground while talking next to the wall of the Embassy. The song continued to play.

Lets go home, lets go home” I said that with a sigh. I lit a cigarette and my friend drove home as the song continued to play.
Nice story, but I can't help but to feel curious about what song was playing.
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