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Jakashis Fan Fiction of the Inheritance cycle

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Old 08-24-2010, 12:16 PM
Jakashi (Offline)
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Default Jakashis Fan Fiction of the Inheritance cycle

Hey I am very new to writing stuff like this I am trying my hardest to improve my writing ,that is why I have decided to write this fan fiction.

For those of you who don't know of the inheritance cycle written by Christopher Paolini I have gotten a three external links to wikipedia explaining the plot summary's.

Paolini hasn't released the fourth and supposed final book yet so I have decided to write this fan fiction for fun and to try and improve my writing skills.

Any constructive advice would be welcomed with an open heart thanks for reading.

Summary links

Eragon the first book : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eragon

Eldest the second book :http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eldest

Brisingr the third book : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brisingr

I know these may not be the best summary's around , the only other thing Icould suggest if your interested is buying the books I do push anyone to buy them as they are fantastic.

Now to my fan fiction I shall post more chapters in this topic once I finish them I hope you enjoy it.

Book IV Empire (fanfic)*

Chapter one "Grief"

Eragon turned over his eyes opened, red marks enclosed around his eyes from rubbing them, it was still the dead of night Eragon reached to his bedside table and got his glass of water. As he slowly drank half of the glass he realised Saphira was still asleep, the cold water trickled down his throat leaving him feeling refreshed. Eragon placed the glass back on the table next to a vase of flowers that the Elves had thought to add to his tent to liven it up. Eragon remembered Oromis had flowers in his hut.
Oromis*thought Eragon.

Pain shot through Eragon, realising once more that his mentors Oromis and Glaedr were no longer in Alaegasia,it had been two days since the brutal murder of his mentor's in Gilead by the hand of his half brother Murtagh and his red Dragon Thorn. Eragon knew in his heart the day would come when he would have to confront Murtagh again on the battlefield. The idea did not please him he knew Murtagh would not act like this if not for Galbatorix's meddling, Eragon had been over so many ideas in his head on what to do, two of these were to confront Murtagh and Thorn and kill him for revenge,or to try to capture Murtagh and Thorn and try to find a way to work around Galbatorix's oaths.

The latter appealed to him more so,but the task seemed nigh on impossible seeming as Murtagh and Thorn were given so many Eldunari and seemed to get more powerful in each battle, and with his recent withdrawal he expected Galbatorix to give him a few more to bolster his strength. Eragon decided it was to late to ponder these thoughts and soon rose up off his bed retrieved Brisingr and left the tent,he soon realised the late hour as his two Elven guards looked with confusion at him being awake at this time, walking away he was slightly relieved to have a bit of freedom.

Walking amongst the Vardens tents the only sound's audible was the sound of the wind against the side of the Vardens tents,the odd stirring of people from within the tent's, the odd patrol or group of men round a camp fire and his nearly soundless footsteps. As Eragon reached the edge of the Vardens camp he followed a small barely visible road to the small pond that was on the borders of Feinster. When Eragon reached the pond he noticed how it shimmered with the moonlight and Eragon admired it's obvious beauty and decided to find a tree to slump up against for a while. The tree he had chosen looked like it had seen many winters, it was at least six feet wide he sat down with his back slumped against the bottom of the trunk and stared across the pond with a gaze of peace.

A few minutes after sitting in the embrace and tranquillity of the pond Eragon heard rustling behind him,in a panic Eragon shot up retrieved Brisingr from the ground and spoke with authority “Who goes there name yourself!” A reply came in the ancient language from a voice he knew well, Arya stated.
"Do not fear it is only I Arya." Releasing his grip from Brisingr Eragon asked relieved.
"What are you doing out here?" Quickly Arya replied.
"I could ask you the same thing!" Calmly Eragon said.
"I needed some time to think." Arya softly replied.
"Yes the recent events still linger in my heart too." Eragon knew she felt the way he felt and did not question her again.

When Arya came into view she strode over to where Eragon sat, Eragon noticed she looked ill and withdrawn he had rarely seen Arya like this, Arya then sat down beside him,even with her current expressions Eragon could still not help but marvel at her outstanding beauty. Eragon wondered if the loss of Glaedr and Oromis had weakened her emotional armour to her grief of Faoilin. Arya then took his hand and place it in hers to his amazement, Arya then asked soothingly.
"How are you feeling?, I know this is hard for you Eragon." Eragon did not reply straight away still surprised by her taking his hand, then he answered Arya weakly.
"Still shocked Oromis and Glaedr were not only mentors to me, but like family." As she tightened her grip around Eragons hand, Arya replied.
"Yes, I understand I am here for you Eragon" Eragon felt a slight relief pulse through him at this statement, but thought nothing more about it. Eragon then asked.*
"What about you?" Arya replied in a weak tone.
"The Grief I feel is nothing in comparison to what you,Saphira and Glaedr especially must be feeling, how is Glaedr? Has he spoke?"At this Eragon remembered his last attempt to contact Glaedr and spoke slowly.
"Not yet his mind is not even responding to me or Saphira. We tried to contact him when we first got into the tent he is unresponsive at the moment which I can understand,I have decided it's best not to contact him again for a few days as he has just had his whole world ripped away from him in an instant." Arya nodded in agreement. They both sat with hands held and gazed across the pond,but otherwise motionless ,after what seemed hours Eragon felt a slight weight on his left shoulder to his surprise it was Arya's head her hair shone in the moonlight like steel. Eragon watched with awe as she slipped into slumber. Eragon noticed a tender smile on her face which pleased him immensely.

Eragon did not sleep his memories of recent events haunted his mind preventing him from slipping into sleep. Eragon watched Arya sleep she did not move at all in her sleep, he was content watching her sleep. Time seemed to pass with ease, a few hours passed and in that time the sun had risen and Alaegasia began to wake, Eragon felt a mind touch his he realised who it was, Blodhgarm’s spoke*
Shadeslayer, Nasuada wishes and audience with you.
Ok ill head down as soon as I can. With impatience as he was quite content in the peacefulness of the pond. Eragon wondered what Nasuada had summoned him for at such an early hour, before he had time to resume his thought another mind touched his he knew this touch well.
Little one where are you ?*Saphira asked inquisitively.
By the lake with Arya.*Eragon tiredly replied.
Oh when did you leave the tent?*Saphira asked with surprise.
About six hours ago, Arya joined me later. She is asleep at the moment. Once Eragon explained his and Arya's encounter and being requested by Nasuada, Saphira said with impatience.
I do not think I will attend the audience with Nasuada, I am going to hunt I shall return by mid afternoon, As I need some time alone so if I am late do not worry, I will be safe, also don't get into any trouble while I am gone.
I wont and stay safe, do not forget we have much to discuss. Eragon stated with eagerness.
Saphira then blocked her mind to her surroundings,Eragon soon saw Saphira speed off over where he was,Eragon marvelled as her scales glistened in the sunlight,and then she was gone .

Eragon tried not to wake Arya as he got ready to leave for the audience with Nasuada, but as he tried to take his hand from her she woke. Blushing with embarrassment she released her grip and bolted upright "I am sorry I did not mean to fall asleep." Eragon replied gratefully*
"Do not worry about it, I am glad I had the company for the night, Thank you." Arya's dimples widened as a smile unfurled upon her elegant face and asked.
"Where are you going?"Eragon explained he was going to see Nasuada, Arya decided to accompany him.
Once Eragon and Arya where ready they departed towards the Vardens camp.

They set off together,once they reached the beginning of the Vardens encampment he was surprised by Roran who grasped his shoulder. Roran explained he to had been summoned by Nasuada, as the three of them trekked through the Vardens encampment Eragon could not help notice the toll the recent battle had taken on the soldiers and families, their gazes still met his with a smile, but it seemed more withdrawn. Once they had reached the giant pavilion where Nasuada was, the Nighthawks consented the three of them admittance to the tent.

The inside of the tent was very spacious even with the huge tables for the council,sat around the middle table was Nasuada looking troubled, on her left was King Orrin and his earls, on her right sat Jormunder and the rest of the council. Nasuada spoke*swiftly.
"Ah I see you found Arya I did send for her to, but no one knew of where she went." Arya spoke before Eragon had chance.
"I was with Eragon." Nasuada gave a small smile, but said no more on the subject and then looked to Roran and said.*
"Stronghammer thanks for coming, I will tell you first while I beckoned you here at such an early hour, from your great courage in the siege on Feinster and the way you handled your troops, myself and the council have decided to give you a larger force to control." Roran replied with enthusiasm.
"Thank you my lady this it is a great honour" Nasuada then stated.
"Your current men will divulge into the company your about to take control of." Roran asked intrigued.
"How many men will be in the force my lady?"
"There will be three hundred soldiers under your command Stronghammer." Rorans face let a smile embrace his face.
"Such a large number you honour me to much." Nasuada seemed grateful at his words and spoke.
"Not at all , A messenger should be with details later today,that is all you may go if you wish."Roran span on his heels and with a grin to Eragon walked out of the pavilion and headed back to his tent. Eragon thought to himself.
I never would have guessed Roran would command so many men. It seemed so long since he and Roran were in Carvahall more concerned with the crops, how much his world had changed, he Eragon the farm boy, the last free Dragon Rider out of Galbatorix's clutches and then there was Roran his cousin now a very valuable asset of the Varden with his own command of three hundred men.

"I have received word from the Elves that Oromis and Glaedr's funeral will be held at the end of this week, I think it wise for you to go and pay your respects" Nasuada softly said towards Eragon. The thought of going to the funeral of his mentor's funerals gave a pain to his heart. Eragon replied weakly*
"Thank you my lady,I shall go" Nasuada inquired.
"How long will you need?" Eragon calculated in his head the trip to Gilead and back,then spoke.
"If I leave once Saphira returns the trip to Gilead should take three days to get to Gilead on Saphira and three days back we should return near the middle of next week." Eragon turned and asked Arya.
"Do you wish to accompany us?" Arya nodded looking at him grateful for the offer, Nasuada then stated.
"When you get back we will be marching for Belatona,the good news is even though we suffered many losses in the siege at Feinster we have gained many recruits from there to." Eragon asked inquisitively.*
"What of lady Lorana?" Nasuada softly stated.
"She cannot help us herself directly because of her oaths, but she wishes no harm to the Varden, especially after you and Arya slew Varaug the shade." The memory of the shade Varaug was not a happy one,Varaug had nearly killed Arya and Saphira,Eragon then spoke troubled.
"When I return I would like to visit lady Lorana and see what I can do about the oaths it may reveal a crack in Galbatorix's logic and help me to gain some experience to attempt to help Murtagh, I would attend to this matter now ,but time is short at the moment." Nasuada replied with a nod.

Eragon bid the council and Nasuada farewell, bowed and worked his way out of the tent. Arya accompanied him on the walk back to his own tent silently,on the way they strode past few surrounding tents of the Varden many of the Varden bowed or said “Good Day Shadeslayer.” When Eragon reached his tent he gave a slight smile to the Elven guards and proceeded in to begin packing for Gilead. Eragon was about to bid farewell to Arya, but instead of going to her own tent she entered Eragons. Eragon led the way inside the tent, once inside they both sat on his bed. Eragon turned to her and told her.
"We shall depart when Saphira returns she will have finished hunting soon, I hope she doesn’t intend to stay on here own for most of the day at a time like this, she should be fine, but said she wishes some time alone." Eragon then asked with a hopeful smile.
"You are still coming right?" Arya replied quickly.
"Saphira should be fine don't worry she'll return when she deems it fit and yes I am still going to accompany you to Gilead, I shall go and pack soon " Arya paused for a moment then releasing a tender smile to Eragon said.
"Thank you." Eragon replied with confusion.
"For?" Arya looked at her feet and then replied softly.
"If it was not for you I would have died at the hands of Varaug. This is twice you have saved me from the clutches of a Shade." While Arya looked down at her feet Eragon lifted her chin, looking deep into her emerald green eyes he replied smoothly.
"I was repaying the favour you helped me kill Durza in Farthen Dur and saved my life, plus I would not be able to forgive my self if anything would have befallen you in that battle or in any other battle you participate in for that matter" Arya looked gratefully at him with a wider smile.

They sat in an awkward silence for a while, Arya then smiled a smile that Eragon had not seen before it was so faint yet had a sign of hope. Eragon red in the face with blushing as his feelings toward Arya became apparent once again, trying not to show his emotion to Arya he turned his head and tried to concentrate on the vase of flowers on his bedside table, then without notice Arya leaned over Eragon turned to see what she was doing to his surprise Arya's lips kissed the side of his cheek the sensation Eragon felt made his heart beat more intensely,when Arya moved her lips from his cheek she said in the ancient language with a calm tone
"I shall not forget." Arya then strode off with haste to pack leaving Eragon sitting bewildered.
Eragon sat there for a long time wondering what had just happened, then thought.
What just happened She never normally acts like this towards me.

Chapter one end

Don't hesitate to comment I am always looking to improve, by the way Italics are used for thoughts and talking through conscious.

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Old 08-28-2010, 03:37 AM
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Bumping for review???
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Old 08-28-2010, 03:46 AM
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If you're trying hard to improve your writing as a whole, I suggest dropping fan fiction and begin writing original pieces.
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"If you don't have time to read, you don't have the time (or the tools) to write. Simple as that." - Stephen King
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