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The Anger

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  #1  
Old 11-13-2014, 04:26 PM
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Default The Anger


The Fear
The Frustration
The Pain
The Rage
The Despair
The Depression
The Self Deprecation
The Loss
The Hunger
The Malnutrition

The soul rending loneliness


How could I know, at 9 years of age, that
this was only the beginning.

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Old 11-14-2014, 12:50 AM
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Morbidly scintillating.

The Self Deprecation

Methinks this line would do better if you'd just drop the 'Self'. I know what you're tryin' to convey here but with the context of your poem on the whole, I think just the two words would leave the reader sufficient hint on your message. Could be perceived ambiguously as well. And, serves neater along with the remaining lines.

Just my two cents.

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Old 11-14-2014, 10:21 AM
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Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
The Fear
The Frustration
The Pain
The Rage
The Despair
The Depression
The Deprecation
The Loss
The Hunger
The Malnutrition

The soul rending loneliness


How could I know, at 9 years of age, that
this was only the beginning.


Okay.

Like this, right?
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Old 11-14-2014, 10:53 AM
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Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
Okay.

Like this, right?
Oi!
Nailed it.
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Old 11-22-2014, 06:54 PM
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This made me laugh Nick. I don't even care if wasn't supposed to! It was damn funny to me! ...and he was only 9 - hysterical.
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Old 11-23-2014, 02:44 AM
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Originally Posted by KBR View Post
This made me laugh Nick. I don't even care if wasn't supposed to! It was damn funny to me! ...and he was only 9 - hysterical.

You get it.
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Old 01-21-2018, 06:00 AM
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Considering how things were I must say things are surprisingly ... eh ... endurable.

At this time.
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Old 01-21-2018, 12:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
Considering how things were I must say things are surprisingly ... eh ... endurable.



At this time.


Isnt that the miracle of being human? The endurance.

Yeah, other animals prolly have it too, in their way. But were the only ones can say so. At least that we can understand.




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Old 01-21-2018, 01:45 PM
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Originally Posted by brianpatrick View Post
Isnt that the miracle of being human? The endurance.

Yeah, other animals prolly have it too, in their way. But were the only ones can say so. At least that we can understand.




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I say our ability to lie to ourselves surpasses the ability of any other species to deny the obvious.
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