Like Konan said, I was really into it.
Also, I really like how much details you put into this in such a small amount of writing.
Punctuation wise, I only noticed two things.
The first one was already pointed out by Pheonix about the comma.
The second one is possibly arguable. In the paragraph before Bobby mentions Waffle Queen, you used Earth as a proper noun. So I believe it should be capitalized.
Story wise, it is very good so far. I will be sure to read the rest in the members only section later on and give feedback as well.
I really do want Bobby to learn his lesson, possibly getting his sorry excuse of a husband beaten down. So you did a good job at making people hate him, which I'm sure was the intention.
Naomi on the other hand I am liking. She sounds like someone who would be a very caring mother.
I also really like how you included some backstories. It gave more character development, which is needed in short stories.
All in all, I really hope you do well and continue to enjoy writing.
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