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Let go, let go

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Old 02-13-2014, 09:52 AM
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Default Let go, let go

4th February 2014

I went to the hospital for my first appointment of the month today. I’ve been visiting the hospital less these days. I was getting better. The pills were getting fewer.

I was waiting for the doctor with a few other patients in the waiting room. To me, it was the room with the weird asphyxiating smell, cheap paintings in cheap frames and a couch meant for pillows in lieu of depressed asses. The pillows were in such elephantine proportions that they took up literally four point six out of five of the fucking couch. I mean really? Maybe it was the doctor’s way of saying, ‘Why, fuck y’all depressed miserable fucks, my pillows give me more comfort than your sorry ass faces could ever give so why don’t you wait on me patiently with your fucking booty on the edge? You need me, I don’t need you. I’ve got enough papers to last my albino ass for the next century. What do you say?’

Heaving a sigh, I started to pile up the pillows by the side of the couch out of courtesy for my depressed ass, as well as a few others’. It’s always been a routine here in Dr. NoCareForYourAss’ waiting room.

‘Same old huh?’ Someone chuckled.

I looked up to see a tired old man lumbering awkwardly towards me. ‘May I?’ He gestured towards the seat next to me on the couch.

‘Uhm, yeah. I mean, of course… Go ahead.’

As he heaved himself beside me, I could smell cigarette smoke and old people skin.

‘So.. You been here long?’ He asked. I could smell coffee in his breath.

‘Uh.. A couple of years, I guess. Is that long? I dunno.’ Talking time to a man who seemed like he had lived in the times of Jimmy Stewart was mildly challenging.

He gave a low chuckle.

‘You? What you here for?’ I asked to break the awkwardness.

‘Me?’ He looked down and rubbed his wrinkled hands together before continuing, ‘Suicide.’

I stared.

‘My grandson, Cameron. God he was the sweetest thing. Then there was this one day, that one worst day, when he called and he said.. He said..’ He caught his breath before continuing, much softer, so soft I had to strain my ears to hear him. ‘He said, ‘I’m so tired Grampa.’ I didn’t know. I thought he just meant tired tired. So I said..’

He looked me in the eyes. ‘I said, ‘Go to sleep, Cam. Go to sleep.’ And he did. And he never woke up.’

I stared back at him. We just started at each other. I didn’t ask. I didn’t say anything. I just took his wrinkled hand in mine, and waited with him in the waiting room, waiting for our answers.

A few minutes later, a girl about my age entered the waiting room with the support of a woman who appeared to be her mother. The girl had tubes attached to her nose. She was wearing a cap. Cancer, I thought. I watched the mother help the girl make her way slowly to the couch opposite ours. Just moments after settling down, the girl made a fluttering moment with her hands which must have made perfect sense to her mother as she immediately reached into her bag to produce a paper bag, holding it open before the girl, who heaved heavily into it. I watched her mother make soothing circles on her back with her other free hand while she muttered softly words of comfort to her daughter.

‘I’m so tired mom, I hate this.’ The girl choked, looking at the paper bag with contempt.

‘Just live it darling. Just live the moments.’ Her mother said softly.

‘But these are terrible moments.’

‘They’re still moments. Moments are made up of life, life is made up of moments, and it is not meaningless. Because we all have something to hold us.’

‘Always?’ The girl looked up at her mother.

‘Always.’ The mother looked down at her daughter.

‘What is it?’

The mother placed a string of hair behind her daughter’s ear. ‘Us.’

The old man and I exchanged glances. We smiled. I let go of his hand. I let go. And I hope that he, also, had let go.

He laughed. And I laughed. But our laughter weren't the only thing we were shaking with.

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MargaridaGuerra (03-22-2014)
Old 02-14-2014, 10:33 AM
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After reading this, I have a new perception of doctors.
I never once thought my doctor had that idea of me.
Interesting, but true. I tend to find the seats I sit on quite lumpy and sinking. So that it can keep me there instead.
Not too sure about the albino flesh though

I had difficulty with identifying when the dialogue started, I think it's because of the apostrophe being used instead of quotation marks. Single apostrophe's are confusing for me when used for dialogues.

Other then that, I found the moral of the story quite touching.
↭ You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star ↭
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LeWriter (02-22-2014)
Old 03-21-2014, 08:31 AM
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ok, crying now LeWriter, oh my, moments.

This is beautiful.
"now I float away like honey in the sun"
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LeWriter (03-21-2014)

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